Daily Details?

Once upon a time this blog was intended to be the extension of the brief daily blog where the dirt, drama, and details of life were poured out in a self-therapeutic mind dump that allows a clearing of the head and some playful fun with words, distractions, and anything else that might pop up here. Asyou may have noticed if you care to check in, I sort of disappeared much of the past month or few. We could blame it on summer, but more, it was an escape into TV shows like Lost and whatever series I watched before that and maybe more before that and video games like Toonblast, Solitaire, Fishdom and a couple of others on the phone. Naturally there's been softball and a whole lot of work, but a whole lot of mindless escape as well.

So what about the dirt, drama, and details?

let's start with work. Today, for example, was largely a desk work day as I processed a lot of drivers license checks for HR.The Fire Department is hiring 25 new firefighters, then there were the usual checks that I process on a daily basis. More emails than usual, again, with the boss still in Europe. I am still getting flack from the senior assistant, but I am ignoring it more and more and that's either going to push her to an inappropriate outburst or challenge her to accept me and start playing nice like everyone else does. A few Division Managers and a couple of Directors called me several times today, so I am recognized and respected by just about everyone but her. Directors have been stopping by my office more often in spite of my not having a chair for them to sit in. The assistant seems frustrated that she has to walk around them to get to the fridge or files, but that's the space I was given and I am using it as economically and professionally as possible. It is odd and a sign of disrespect from the boss, but he likes his power and control and this fits with his micromanaging and the senior assistant's disrespect. The other assistant and I see eye to eye and she vents to me about the odd closed circle the senior assistant and boss maintains. The Directors and Managers don't seem to mind and come see me or call regularly now. The Deputy and Assistant County Managers both stopped by this week and last week as well, so they recognize my role and hopefully respect it behind closed doors as they appear to openly. Politics and power trips always plays a huge role in any organizatioo, especially government.

Home, if I can call it that, is the same pig-sty it's been since I moved in. Whether the body woes have been caused by living here or simply aggravated by the filth in this space, it's not been a picnic for the part of me that likes a clean and healthy environment. I am far from a neat freak, but having to spray the toilet seat and bathtub and sink with bleach every time I want to go is getting old. Not having a kitchen or kitchen sink is no fun either. The 84 degree thermostat and 100 degree (if that high) hot water is not just uncomfortable at times, but downright unsanitary for washing dishes, clothes, or me. Still, after a year of blaming these living conditions for my apathetic self-destructive eating choices and lack of exercise, I focused on weight loss and have dropped close to 50 pounds with the help of the body issues discussed in the body blog. The dietary choices can be followed in the food blog. Maintaining those two may have contributed to the silence here to some extent.

The dirt, drama, and details have little time or interest in being written. Loneliness may be the driving force bring me back at the moment as the desire for sharing is growing again, every day. The lack of interest from you, dear reader, certainly doesn't inspire me to return here to make time, but you are not the reason this blog is as quiet as it's ever been. Maybe I'll get more into the DDD again one of these days, but for today, here's some.

The previous entry was not completed, but the way, in case you wondered.

Your life as quiet as mine?

Narf :)

That's Why They Call It An Asshole

In case it matters, I mean, as if anybody's out there missing my whiny rambling pathos and irreverent apatheism, among the other questionable qualities I dump out here in this internet graveyard where words come to die with great oblivion and alacricity, even. Look it up, it's electric alacrity. Look up apatheism, while you're at it. Challenge me, try to correct me, see if I care. You can't enter my mind unless I want you to, after all, so just go right on abandoning me and I'll just go on playing with the other strays left for dead on the streets by masters who tired of them.

I probably should revive this one, but fuck it, why bother with afterthoughts when thoughts have taken exit 42. It's all right there waiting, like one of the Marx brothers said... or sang... I think it was Richard. Groucho, Harpo, and Chico are my favorite trio right after the Wacko, Yacko, and Dot. Actually, they probably fall in this order... Wacko, Harpo, Groucho, Yacko, Chico, and Dot. Unfortunately even enlightened cartoon characters and comedians succumb to the patriarchal dominance inbred into humanity. Sucks to be male. Sucks worse to be female. Humans are such disgustingly ignorant, vile, stupid people.

You're not one, are you?

Just in case you noticed that I haven't been here for a while, how was I supposed to know. I mean, did you tell me? You could have told me I wasn't here and maybe then I might have noticed.

Where are those wide-eyes of wonder when you need them, anyway?

Site unseen I give you the chance to decide for yourself. What does it say about me when all I could focus on how much I dislike high waste jeans and how tired I am of processed whiny voices. That's what I get for searching for wide eyes of wonder. We really don't need another Adele, do we? Avril was a kind of Aly Silverstone eye candy face, after all. And Fiona, whatever happened to Fiona? We already have a Mariah, thank you. I'll stick with Elton for wide-eyed wonder. And Robin, dear Robin.


I had to stop this crazy thing, Jane, and so, the end is not just near, it's right here.

t . b . c .

Cleaning and Reorganizing the Space

Six (or was it seven) loads of laundry, full-to-the-max loads, at that. Folding happened too. The new wire frame shelving I put together yesterday and Helen (I texted Jackson, Helen, and Jane after starting laundry to let them know I was bored because I was nodding off and laundry is much less tedious {or sad, but that's another story lived and told long ago so if you haven't heard it and want to, ask} with company and Helen called. We did chores together apart for three hours while chatting) inspired me to reorganize the space today and the clothing is much more compactly organized leaving more shelf space for other things and much easier visibility of what I have available and clean. Time savings, space savings, perhaps even sanity savings at times. I'm not sure this qualifies as de-cluttering, but it's good to have the stuff clean and organized better.

Meanwhile...

I am dealing with the conflict between this laptop and Windows Update again. I decided to delete the Windows\SoftwareDistribution folder. n it not only to complain, but just in case this computer explodes during this entry, your know why. As you see above, the computer is working hard moving 39,835 "items" (I assume they are files) to the external hard drive (just in case they might be of some value to a tech if the computer needs fixing after they are all removed. The internet said it was safe and they are taking up 1.6+ GB of the 2.2 GB free space left on the 32 GB hard drive of which 29.1 is usable for whatever reason (from time f purchase). Windows takes up 21+ GB just to function, 3.5 GB are reserved by Windows so multiple programs can run, and then I have about 6 GB of software needed by Windows or the computer to function. About 1 GB of the software is stuff I use that Windows or Lenovo doesn't need like Adobe PDF. I cant even open an Office file on this thing. So I am deleting 1.6 GB of Windows Update files that can't be used because there is not enough room for an update.

See, what we have here is a failure to communicate between Lenovo and Microsoft and the consumer. Lenovo and Microsoft should have figured out that Windows 10 doesn't fit well on a 32 GB drive because it needs more than 32 GB to run and update. Then, Lenovo should have mentioned it in their sales and technical documentation. I suppose "DO NOT BUY THIS COMPUTER BECAUSE IT WILL NOT WORK PROPERLY AS IT IS CONFIGURED" might not be good for sales. But neither is a consumer stuck with a product that is constantly annoying reminding the consumer never to buy another Lenovo product.

I may continue this another time, but I need sleep as softball starts early tomorrow and I want to be awake for it for a change.
Even with all the indoor activity, I cut back on calories again. Less than 500 today. More tomorrow because, as I just mentioned, 3 hours of softball starts the day, but I needed to break the three-day streak of near or above 2000 calories.

You should have seen it lol :)

Narf :)

Adding Words

This entry was just sitting there in drafts with just six words, so I added some. Maybe its for people with too much time on their hands which may have nothing to do with this, but it is italicized and bolded for some reason and you may never know cuz I may never now cuz it doesn't appear as if either of us care much anymore, at least for not. The bottom hurts, itches, and otherwise distracts and we just go on like it's a normal everyday part of life because that is what it has become because a half dozen doctors have not found a remedy that works. Treating symptoms is not good medicine and I wish I could find a real diagnostician who understands and practices that, but unfortunately I do not have too much time on my hands in spite of this meandering entry, the gazillions of words, the sad lag time between click and download (is it computer or wifi that sucks there, only a guess knows for sure, both), and the vast space and time between everything, especially us of late.

No distraction is great enough to stop the silent scream of loneliness...

... or is that tinnitus.

Definitely the computer.