Ok, I record my life here and sometimes I cross over into another person's life when I am living with that person and they are actually physically altering my life or worse, creating discomfort or worse, preventing me from continuing to live in the space. It is a matter of survival, psychologically. It is also a matter of figuring out what is happening and how to express it to someone in a way that has the best chance of finding a mutually satisfying resolution. Or just the vent to clear my head because complaining is not just for sissies and crabs. As you see, the goal is to self-mock until I laugh at myself.
So...
Here is a thought we can both laugh at when we become friends if he has any self-awareness at all. Living with a disorganized slob can be challenging when trying to coordinate use of house facilities. I like him so it's ok to call him names. See? Laughing already.
Hopefully he has some self-awareness and he will laugh with me if he ever reads this or if I stay here long enough to speak on the subject. For now, I am taking a slow road to cleaning the china. That is, I am gradually moving his stuff off counters and gradually cleaning up behind him and gradually working through the sighs and grunts of frustration. Maybe direct confrontation is best for some people, but I've never enjoyed teaching grown people the obvious.
Besides, sometimes I feel really dumb.
For instance, tonight I had laundry on my schedule and I asked Eb if he was going to do laundry tonight and he said yes, but later. Ok, so I put a load in and he went out somewhere. Didn't say when he'd be back. When my first load was finished I pondered a few minutes and then put a second load in. When my third load was finished I pondered a few minutes and put a third load in. My third load finished and I have a fourth load, but it is 11:30pm and he's still not back and I am going to not do my fourth load. He may have changed his plans and will get home and go to bed, but then I still have laundry to do and tomorrow... will he decide to do laundry?
So he gets home at 2am and I'm still awake (so I could have done the rest of my laundry), and I find out that his friend's house burned down and that's where he was.
See, really dumb. That's me.
He seems to be one of the nicest guys I've ever met. Boldly giving where no man has given before. It's an inside joke. You had to be there. Or something like that. He'll be the first to tell you all about it, but hey, we all have our insecurities and he is genuinely trying to improve himself by losing weight for charity. He volunteers for more than a few community service organizations and organizes many different community events. So what if he has no clue how to share space with a roommate. The kitchen table, the kitchen counters, the stove top, the microwave, the sink, the couches, the bathroom counters, the hallway, most of the floor... nothing has been cleared (no less cleaned) since I've been here and that is more than a month now. The week before I moved in, when I signed the lease, he said he was going to clean it all.
So I don't cook here. I don't use the kitchen stove or counters. I don't sit at the kitchen table. I don't have anything in the bathroom. There's not even a place for a clean towel. I don't sit on the couch. Until this week. I moved stuff off a seat on the couch and sat to watch a video. The couches are very old and very uncomfortable. Everything is so old. His plan is to retire at 50 so he lives frugally and forgoes comforts for that retirement plan. I'm not sure why he forgoes cleanliness. Maybe he just likes clutter. His assistant will have a lot of work when he becomes Mayor. Yes, that's one of his goals. I don't know, anything is possible.
After work he does community service. When he is home he watched Star Trek. There is an antenna station (no cable) that plays all the Star Trek series one after the other every evening, so it fills the evening past midnight. Trek, NG, DS9, Voyager, Enterprise. Not that that I am not a serious geek (or is that nerd? Trekker, Trekkie, hey, whatever, I've seen them all a few times, at least).
Still, I wonder if he is as blindly unaware as he appears. He lives as if I do not live here. He said he would clean but he doesn't, so there are two options, clean up behind him or eat out, do laundry at a laundromat, and clean the bathroom before I use it - every time.
Or move out.
I am paying way too much to be his maid and not have access to cooking, laundry, or a bathroom so while we can laugh about it later, for now, this is not acceptable. He's left his laundry all over the place, including in the washer and dryer for two weeks so the only way I can do a wash is confront him by moving all of his stuff or go out to a laundry. I went out to buy ore clothes so I can go another week without doing a wash, but it is definitely why I am disrespecting his privacy and writing this entry.
Writing this lets me process the complete lack of sensitivity, courtesy, and hospitality. Writing this lets me wait here a bit longer without confronting him so I am not forced to move out sooner than is right for me. Writing this lets me accept he is not doing it on purpose a bit longer because it he was, he could be so blindly self-absorbed and narcissistic that confronting him could be dangerous.
Hopefully we will laugh at that possibility one day when he s Mayor. He says the Mayor and Police Chief and many other city and County leaders are best buddies and have been to his house (I wonder if he cleaned the place first). He says they want him to run for Mayor. He says he is on the Board of Directors of a half dozen or more local community organizations. He says he runs a lot of really big community events in the city and in the county. Some of his self-promoting claims are a bit wilder than that. He says he earns really big money (many thousands) for charity all the time and he is supposed to be on a weight loss challenge that will earn $50,000 for a charity but he's eating way to many calories (including protein shakes and ice cream and pizza and M & Ms and icing from the can) to be losing much weight.
A strange dude, this new roommate.
Maybe he is deciding that the rent is not worth sharing the space and encouraging me to go by completely dong the opposite of what he said he would do (clean). Maybe he is deliberately living a complete slob's life (including grease and food crumbs everywhere) because he wants me out. But he has not welcomed me since day one, not even to clear a spot for me to sit at the table or couch - no less clean the stove, microwave, or kitchen counters which just get dirtier and stickier as the days pass. Maybe he is too nice a guy to ask me to leave and this is his way of confronting others to get what he wants.
Or maybe he is simply an inconsiderate filthy slob.
We shall see what will be, but for now, I've tried spending some time with him, moved stuff off couches so I had a place to sit, cleaned the kitchen counter so I could make food, cleaned the bathroom daily, and cleaned the laundry area so I could wash clothes but it's worse than ever today so... I take it one day at a time and stay I'll just stay in my room when I am here. Always hopeful this will end in laughter.
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