Z0tl Did It

The remnants of the comment just concluded (and not yet read or expounded upon, so beware the changes that may come over the next time frames, whatever they may be, that is to say, this blog entry is in progress, incomplete, unfinished, to be continued... comment at your peril lol lam laa)...

Oh the bless-ed cat, still remembered and loved after all these years. As you may have noticed, I suddenly disappeared from the internet, completely as possible for me, for weeks, at least. There was one ramble, but who sweats the details (still with the hidden messages in obscure references, no doubt). I am honored and pleased as punchy can get.

I miss you.

NOTE: This comment grew and grew and will likely be cut off somewhere along the way, so to see the whole comment you inspired in it's entirety, see the detailed (babbling) blog (you found it) for the full monty (python optional). The full monty will arrive any moment now, but until then feel free to continue. I didn't upload it yet, so there's no easy link, but you may be the person who left a comment there too and if you are, you know where it is. The entry will be right about this date or so. And now, back to the comment in progress... please stand by. It's uploaded now, as you can see, just not read or elaborated. Yet.

The birthday was a day like any other day, as birthdays have been fr me lo these forty-odd (and odd they were, even) years since my grand sweet sixteen party Barb and Bonnie threw for me in Bonnie's basement. Ah, those were the days, with the special home-made party had and pillow and all the favors. Flavors too. It's a day to celebrate like every other.

The life, every day, is better than t has been in any number of years, four or six, at least. Minimally at few, to estimate broadly. New home, half a house and garage and a tree to park under. Don't even mind the birds leaving their droppings on my car every morning since they seem to like their nests in the tree. Backyard with more trees, it's almost like home. Close as it gets for me, since home is where the heart is and I leave my heart just about everywhere, even in San Francisco, long ago. Leave us not lament the loves that left be behind, for you know I carry them all with me, always (as the songs go).

And so it goes.

Who knows? lol. Oh, I still love the oddity of my senses of humors and other things, still including the assorted sundries. Meanwhile, in my response to your comment and cheer (hey, it's cheer for you and I cheer your cheer, celebrating your cheer even more than my birthday cuz I loves me some z-man and misses you lots. Wish we could visit, or at least chat. Remember chat? Yes, when the internet was young and wild and free. Oh, the places we could go. But Seuss died and so did Douglas Adams, and Robin, no less, though they all still live in my head reading and babbling and singing just like and John Lennon and Harry Chapin do. There's lots of room in my head.

Remember when I used to babble on and on about this and that over in Diaryland and wherever? I must drop myself in there one of these nights, one of these crazy lonely nights, and find out which pretty momma and poppas are still there. Dedication to the cause, whatever the cause may be. Sharing. That's the ticket.

I stopped by here to write a bit of blog tonight, impulsively out of the blue as the only unique occurrence that happened lately is the largest solid bowel movement on record in recent memory, perhaps this year, though I believe there may have been one other that was slightly larger. That couldn't be why I turned on the computer for the first time in weeks and opened this browser and looked to the blogs. I had a few words ready to come out, what where they, anyway?

So I had a craving. Cheese spread. Smoked fish (salmon, perhaps), cheddar and cream cheese spread. The past few days, every store I stopped in did not carry it. I wasn't in large stores. Small markets that have fewer perishable dairy items in stock. They didn't have something else I wanted too, but I think I forgot what that was. In any case, in case it matters, I have this craving and found some palmetto pimento cheddar spread tonight and bought some whipped cream cheese to mix with it and sweet potato brown sugar sun chips ("sun chips" are a brand of chips marketed as healthier, but who reads the labels when it's a craving, really) and I munched a bit and decided to announce it to the world.

Instead, it's in this comment to you (which will certainly be an entry somewhere someday, maybe tonight, though I do have to work tomorrow and the next day and the next day and so on and scooby doo was ahead of the game this time, but then again, have to is such a strong term).

Are we having fun yet?

Yesterday I settled for caramelized onion hummus and fell in love. With the hummus, no such fateful luck on the romance side of life. Maybe that shows in my blogging. The silence. Even before the silence, the romantic dreams are sleeping so deeply, I am not even sleep writing (ah, remember Diaryland where I use to... oh ok, not that again).

There must be some way out of here, but where's a good joker and thief when you need one?

Now see here sir, this comment is for you, no one else, though it will be shared with the world ad infinitum and all, you are the inspiration, the je ne ques que c'est la vie pas. Feel free to tell me what I just said, but seriously, we are family (where are all of our brothers and sisters, come to think of it? There was a blog for us, somewhere, a blog for us...

The blog family, it was called. I don't recall if I ever opened it to the public, but surely you were invited to join in dozens of times over the years. P is there. J, not so much. Others, I could not find, alas, but there's always hope (cuz I hope, ya know?).

Bless the cheese and crackers.

Beasts and children too, no doubt. Imagine, for years now I've been typing on a $129 laptop (and until moving in here, watching internet TV on a $79 laptop, how frugal). As usual, the pop up warning me that it is running out of memory is suggesting I stop in the name of love and re-start, as if Windows 10 will ever fit on this machine. Poor marriage, Lenovo and Microsoft, very poor marriage. I've learned to live within the limits of 2GB RAM and a 32 GB SSD drive, with Windows taking up 90% of it, at least. Oh, the places we can't go on this thing.

Still, life is as wonderful as it gets without falling in love. Comforts, safety, security, and the laps of several luxuries most of the world never see. The good old usa, land of the excess and home of the spoiled destroyers of the planet. Going out in style, as they say Whomever they might have been. I've accepted the inevitable demise of the human species and am rooting or the butterflies to evolve into the dominant species next. Hey, what can I say, I like a long shot.

I bought dark chocolate hummus for dessert. Never tried it and hope its not a disappointment. The only other chocolate in the house is cashew milk and magic shell fudge. The weight loss program started yesterday and so far I am failing joyfully. I actually did drop about 50 pounds since last year, and I am maintaining most of the time, so the days of my being over 200 pounds may be gone for good. Much healthier for the body. Which reminds me that I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon for which I will be quite tired. At least I get to leave work and be home early. Maybe I'll nap. I've not been sleeping much. Too much excitement being alive and all, you know, I don't want to miss a thing. Call me crazy, or put on some Aerosmith. The Beatles knew too.

So by now I've probably gone way past the limit of this comment box and the comment will liked be cut off at some odd moment that could very well alter the meaning and rhythm of the night, but we take our chances, don't we.

I keep reaching for another chip and cheese and the thought that I can't believe I am going to lay down and sleep after all these calories. I haven't done that in many months, I think. Tomorrow is another day, I hope. Laughing all the way home, even if I never wake up again. It could happen, after all, I'm quite old.

We won our softball game tonight 13-11. We gave away the game last week so we are 3-1 on the season. We've won championships two out of the last three years. Yes, I still love my softball and play with the kids. The seniors don't want me, or at least they don't beg hard enough. Maybe they can't get hard anymore. Oh, that's a low blog. Anyway, I'll stay with the kids as long as they'll have me, going on ten years with this Monday night team, though the players have changed over the years. I was full of more energy than usual, which likely lead to the poop and hunger and binge and blog and comment.

One reason I have not been blogging is the iphone 8 plus and the games I downloaded on it. Don't want to imagine what I'd stop doing if I got an iPad lol. First there was ToonBlast, Then Fishdom, and though they both could probably go on forever, now Merging Dragons gets prime time attention and the computer sits on the table next to the recliner (did I mention I have a new recliner? In my living room? In a real house? With a garage and backyard and... many don't have these things, so I am quite appreciating and celebratory about it, but Ill stop now because I don't want to brag... maybe too late?... ummmm, ooops). Yes, Merging Dragons is my current almost all the free time I have and during breaks through the day and night addiction. There's a lot of dust on the laptops. Life goes on and the babbler isn't even lamenting. Yet.

So you've given me the opportunity to catch up a bit, as randomly as usual (but who am I to judge?), because you cared to reach out and touch someone with your words. Imagine if I was not going into work tomorrow?... no, let's not, because I have stuff I want to do at work tomorrow and I don't want to take advantage of my flexible hours and easy-going boss. I'd probably break into rhyme. Not imagining, right. I'm closing the cheese now. Probably had more calories in the past hour than have some whole weeks. Or at least a few days. Moderation has been my friend, until tonight.

The chocolate hummus is amazing.

There is joy in mudville... and much laughter among us. Surely goodness and mercy are chasing me around the room. Celebrations are so easy, I don't know why most people don't do it more often. I wish you a merry happy wonderful day and life. Wishing the dark clouds parted a bit, if only a sliver, if only now and then. If I won the lottery (which I almost never play, though I did play it when the jackpot hit 1.6 billion dollars. I spent dozens of dollars and won something. Less than I spent. I forgot to cash in the ticket). Which reminds, me, thankfully, that my car registration expired this month (who knew, on my birthday) and I keep forgetting to put the new decal on the license plate and there's one day left in Apr, which is what is on the sticker, which wouldn't look good in May, expired and all. Where did I put that sticker? Did I fall out of the parentheses?

Ok, one more large dollop of dark chocolate hummus and the cover goes on and hopefully they all go in the fridge soon. That means getting up out of the recliner, which should mean concluding this comment, but is that a realistic dream?

Yes, I can do it. In fact, odds are, blogger did it for us long ago. Naturally the words will fall into the blog world in the usual place (es).

What I was saying before other thoughts interrupted was, if I had a million dollars (that song will be sung in the poor house someday), I'd buy a big house where we all could live. Or at least visit anytime we wanted. You'd get at least a dozen plane tickets to the place (it's de plane, de plane, in de place, de place... or something like that). I would insist, even if I had to knock down your door, throw you into a wheelbarrow, and hire some strong people to wheel you all the way to wherever the place was. Probably a tropical island, so an amphibious wheelbarrow. We can work out the details later.

I would hire a beautiful woman or few to tickle your feet (and anywhere else you'd like) until you died of laughter. Well, no, I'd stop them before you died, promise. Unless they were tickling me simultaneously and then we might both die laughing. Who's reading this? Please come over and save us, I'll pay your air fare and hire beautiful women (or men) to tickle you if you get here before we die.

Meanwhile, back in the what is, I shall conclude this (quite suddenly, in fact, almost as impulsively as the impulse that brought me here) with (all the typos that happened, cuz I'm not re-reading until the babbling blog entry when who knows what more will be added, but that's beside the point) the hug of the ages, the love of the energy of the eternal infinity, and some more chocolate.

Please KIT, as in keep in touch.

So many thanks, uncountable.

Appreciation, too.

Narf :)

Spontaneous Revivial

The email told me to go to instagram, so following the impulse to jump out here (on the internet) for the first time in almost a lonth, I did and sure enough, I jumped over to her youtube channel (because shes a favorite who's inspired me in the past and if you recall, shout out to you for remembering and being here again) and I fell in love (in the way I do, momentary cyber bliss and all) all over again so get ready cuz this is gonna be a bumpy entry.

Maybe. lol.

So I pull the laptop over from the table where it's been sitting for ... weeks?... months?... whatevers, after leftover italian delites (dinner) and chocolate truffle ice cream with chocolate fudge magic shell sauce and a wonderful week away (working hard for no money lol) and loving life more than ever and putting the phone game down for the first time in ... weeks?... months... whatevers) so anyway, I open email to see what's there and there's a ton of it, but not much in my inbox because alost all of it is filtered into a few dozen folders that I almost never look at anymore... and here we are... I still love her, now more than ever.

Seriously

Was I just saying to myself that I am better off alone? Who me? The hopelessly hopeful romantic who lives to love and be love? Yup. So it's a long story (series of long stories and then some... what are we up to?... book 7,501,417 or so?... and so it goes) for another time cuz I am just too happy with life these days (all by myself) to be fretting over the nonsense I used to fret over (I know, it's not nonsense, the fretting was, not the stuff I was fretting over, but you had to be there, maybe, or something like that).

Sheesh, Emma, what's this a same theng in every song debut album? Trying to be Avril, Adele, Kelly, Alanis, Fiona, and all rest of the "Im better without you" good bye song crowd? Maybe try a little Sarah M and Jewel, while you're at it. Sedaka? lol Ok? I still love you more than you may ever know even if you knew, but that's another story for another time and this is my blog about me so what are you doing taking all my attention like this?

Oh, I'm listening to you new debut album (which is weird since I've been listening to your music for years, but hey, new debut stuff sells better I guess, aye?). Of course it could just be my eyes and mood and current joy de life, but I don't think I've ever seen you looking so happy, so you're either a geat actress or in a very good place.

Icarus, you gotta let it go...

LOL, love it. I love the way she loves what she loves (especially music) and speaks her mind and she always reminds me how much I wish I had more musical friends and how much I believe more people should share themselves. Anyone who hasn't been Icarus at some point in their lives really hasn't gone after their dreams or been completely honest with themselves, so yeah.

Sirens are all waiting in the ocean, but that's another story too... lol.

If you are missing the references, feel free to ask. I am just having fun with words (and my mind), in case you are taking me too seriously. If feelings get hurt, it's not what I'm here for, not my intention, not what I want. So please don't do it, m'ok? :)

I would have left these messages on a billboard somewhere or a tweet or something if I was in the mood to venture further along on the net tonight, but as it is not likely I will, here's what I would have done if I did, just so you know...

I know the lyrics have been done many times before, but this is a fun sound.

But don't listen to that one, listen to this on
(it's actually a commercial, no less, and yet, she pulls it off so well, I prefer it to the official video... happiness wins!)

You used to call me pretty 'till you took our the r" Brilliant! lol.

Neil Sedaka would be proud.

I see this is turning (is?) into a babbling blog that isn't even dirt drama and details, but more like the old stuff I used to write at diaryland or in previous lives in previous blogs, but hey, we're having fun, right? nyone who isn't can move along at any time and anyone who is, ! the comment button so I know you're there, or were here, cuz it's more fun with you even though I'm cute without ya too lol.

So this is how it is done. I don't touch the computer for weeks... longer... and here we are hitting the keys running full blast without any concern for anyone but the ones who know and trust my harmless intentions and process.
I just want to be real
I just want to live what I feel
I just want to love and be loved
but if it's just me loving,
that will have to be enough
that's enough

I just want to be true
I just want to be good to you
I just want to give and receive
but it's it's just me giving,
I will live what I believe
I believe

I believe in love
in sharing being kind
I believe in truth
and in speaking my mind
I believe in trust
and won't empower fear
I believe in you
and I care
no matter what
I care

I just want to be right
but if I'm wrong., it's ok
I don't mean any harm
and I try to do what I say
I don't want to give up
no matter how bad it gets
and if that isn't enough
I will own my regrets

I just want to be real
(completely open honesty)
I just want to live what I feel
(wish you'd sing this song with me)
I just want to love and be loved
(what else do you want from life?)
but if it's just me loving,
(say it ain't so)
that wll have to be enough
that's enough

I just want to be true
(don't settle for any less)
I just want to be good to you
(wish you peace and happiness)
I just want to give and receive
(sharing caring is what life's about)
but it's it's just me giving,
it's it's just me sharing
if it's just me living
if it's just me caring...

I will live what I believe
I believe

I believe in love
in sharing being kind
I believe in truth
and in speaking my mind
I believe in trust
and won't empower fear
I believe in you
and I care
no matter what
I care
Yeah, so that's how it used to be and guess what, that's how it still is. So I'm better off alone, maybe, I'm happy on my own, for sure, I'm loving life and I still love to care... and I'm still here wishing you would share.

Yeah, I'm still here... wishing you would share.

Always a coda, aye? So this turned into my blog after all, aye? lol lam lal laa...

What's up?

Narf :)