Slipped In Here

I am slipping this one in here because I skipped this date and would rather the next entry stay afloat as the entry entry for this blog at east another day, I think. It seems I am leaving entries unfinished with greater regularity than usual the last few days which is an obvious sign of something but I don't have time to finish this thought either. Sleep must come at 2am if I am to challenge this body to play softball in tomorrow's heat at one of the hottest driest fields in town for as many hours as I deem safe.

Probably not a wise move, but we shall see how I feel in the morning.

Anyway, as I was saying in tomorrow night's brief entry (which will appear to be two nights from now due to the datestamp, but don't let that confuse you... it's all part of the plan and the grand scheme of things and the maze and all, in case it matters if you know what I mean) it sure would be nice to be able to say that I am home again but then I would have to feel it and I definitely do not feel home again so I am here again and in reality I have not been home in a long long time (maybe Linda would understand). Deep? Profound? Maybe. Whatever. It is what it is. Good day though.

Whatever I did this morning included a lot of writing like this (which might be a personal anthem or at least an autobiographical number in the musical of this life as I know it) and messages to people on the roommate site (maybe I'll upload and link them) who were not even prospective roommates for me and a letter to J and more cuz it was a wonderful morning inside my head and I just felt like sharing it with anyone in any sort of contact (not Jackson, which is a sad choice she's making, but it is what it is and she'll only hear from me when she's at work and only see me when Brandi is out of town and if she thinks she is in a healthy relationship with those sort of limits, well, we can disagree and still be family if she really wants to be... my door is always open, even if everything flows mostly just one way, her choice).

What I was getting at is that nobody who looks me in the eye in this life talks about writing - or reading, even, no less creative writing, therapy writing, or correspondence of any kind. Is it illiteracy or fear of intimacy or something else, I don't know and I'm not even sure I'm asking. All I know is I love to write, I love to communicate through the written word, and I love the hopefulness I had this morning.

The afternoon was filled with a few hours of softball (in the extreme heat again... on that dry field in that dry park again... I survived, but it is definitely not as much fun playing in those conditions). We won. I toyed with very inexperienced batters and did my best to help them get hits and score runs by lobbing pitches without spin and no fielding my position at all and after walking twice, deliberately grounding into a double play my third time up and deliberately striking out my fourth time up. We won something like 17-8 even with e doing everything I could to help the other team. Some match-ups are like that. The other team really seemed to feel great. They turned their first double play of the season and were hooting and cheering about that. It is a recovery league and the point of the league is to bring people with addiction issues together for comradery and physical activity and teamwork and mutual support so the last thing I want to do is demoralize anyone. Some of the more competitive players in the league (and on my team) were puzzles and do not like it when i do that, but they do not understand the league concept or why they gather in a prayer circle before and after every game.

Hopefully they will progress in their growth and treatment (a prerequisite for the league is all players must either be in a treatment program or have been in one or have worked in one) and learn when good sportsmanship matters more than dominating others just because you can.

After softball I picked up Helen for dinner (outstanding once again) at the new favorite buffet, the Japanese buffet. All you can eat and all top shelf well prepared cuisine. I feel certain I will ramble on more about the place as time goes by when I am not so sleepy. Helen and I chatted a while after I drove her to her house and and then I headed to Sarducci's for a party in honor of three friends with birthdays this month.

All in all I had a very fun willed day and evening and night tomorrow.

Hope you had fun today too :)

Narf :)