Ok, so as I mentioned, there was no softball this Sunday because the free fields were rained out and the coach is not paying for fields anymore because too few people show up for practice. Glad I checked my phone and was informed before I drove there because the free fields are at least a half hour away without any traffic. That allowed me to go back to sleep. Yesterday evening I let myself fall asleep shortly after getting home from the tournament and woke around midnight and wrote the previous entry and was still awake in the morning when I got the text canceling practice so I went back to sleep. Some time in the early or mid-afternoon I woke again and looked around and decided to relax and not work on empting or sorting boxes until the evening when it would be cooler.
With no job, there is freedom to do whatever I want to do each day. Retired people who do not need to create new income understand the combination of ease and stress that freedom provides. The ease of no clock responsibilities unless you create them. The stress of what to do now? when there is so much free time and sometimes not enough to do to fill that time. When a life of giving has left one without the savings to permanently retire, the added stress of finding income at an age when no one wants to hire you is not fun. I am using distractions to keep my spirits up and stay in touch with the child inside who has never worried about anything because life happens and then it's gone so we might as well enjoy it (it's the best we can do and I want to do the best I can do).
Today I used Facebook (and someday I will get back to linking, though if Facebook blocks my new account that will just be another waste of time like the many thousands of links linked over the years are at the moment, but moving on) for distraction and amusement again. Something to occupy the fingers and eyes and parts of the mind that is not listening to the music. Yes, music still plays most of the time when I am here and awake. That playlist will appear eventually so we can see the relative randomness of the CDs I am pulling out of the boxes. Most CDs get the full play even if I am not a fan of the sounds at first. Some go into the ok, I listened, who wants this one? pile and some go into the keep this and listen again pile and eventually there will be other piles sorting out the most favorite favorites from the seconds and thirds and so on piles and each pile may or may not have a distinct name in words, but the music will be more organized than just the alphabetical order all thousands of CDs are in at the moment.
I still did not connect the TV here primarily because there is no cable and I am not sure how well I could get local channels but also because the space is in disarray as I gradually unpack and re-sort stuff in all of the boxes. I miss my imaginary friends from the TV shows I was watching late nights on DVR in recent years. Yes, this link will take you to a blog that, in the right column, lists all of the TV shows I've ever watched (that I remember, which means I probably left out plenty). The shows are even divided into categories of priority. TV supplimented the socializing I sometimes crave in recent years. There have been years I lived without any TV at all, like now. In case it matters.
Along about 7pm, Curly called to let me know I was welcome to head over to where he was playing games with two of the people from the Tuesday night card players. We will name them Excel and her dad, Commodore. I just updated the people page in the primary (brief) blog of this two-part daily blog and added a few more people I have not mentioned yet but who seem to fit in with the current progress of this blog thing, in case it matters. Anyway, I pondered my navel for a few minutes and decided I would wipe the body down a bit and fluff up the hair (still no hot water and I've got to be in the right mood for a cold shower) and head over there. We played a few games though I do not recall the names of the games and finished the night with a game of spades.
A whole lot of words for a day with a whole little activity, but that's part of the process of the babbling therapy and when there is more time, the babbling becomes yet another distraction from the nothing else to do or the loneliness or the stresses of the day. It's quite a complex process of maintaining sanity and stability that may be written up in some psychological journal one day, but until then, all you've got is this and the hundred or so other blogs to occupy your time. And mine.
Hope it was good for you too ;)
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