Mostly Babbling

Yes, so I lost interest, at least temporarily, in blogging about daily life in any specific brief just-the-facts way. That may simply be because life is not a pretty site in reality and I'd much rather babble on about it because babbling is fun, therapy, and an effective distraction from the missing pieces and challenges that reality presents these days. I mean, how many times can I write the same thing without boring myself to death? (or something like that). Laughing at whatever now because the process is so practically perfect in every way, it's like I have a magical nanny taking care of me when I am babbling. But then, you may never know what I mean or what you are missing if you don't come into the circle. I mean, really, is Joan Baez's Diamonds and Rust about Bob Dylan?

This is the dirt, the drama, and the details of the life mixed with babbling asides and rambling rants and disassociative distractions and meaningless meanderings and confuddled complaints and foolish fantasies and silly self-depreciations and and complex collusions and secret self-mockery and creative confusions and raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens and all the fun of the fair, for starters.

So today was another day of sleeping past noon and then sitting at the computer sending out resumes and then rambling through my files of words to post a few more entries here and there and spending a half hour or so on Facebook checking on the group I help manage and the peole who message me and the posts in what they call my news feed (which I am finally getting closer to what I want to see instead of what Facebook wants me to see, but that is a constant battle as Facebook seems intent on controlling my newsfeed for which I should thank them for it helps me spend less time there).

Then it was time for a shower in the shower box and then a drive to play bridge. Without thinking I drove toward Curly's place and after a half hour when I was halfway there he texted to tell me it was at The Commodore's place and so it took me another forty minutes to get there. I stopped for a 7-11 hot dog and pizza on the way so I would not show up too hungry because I don't want to pig out there when I seldom contribute to the food we eat and they make dinner for every card night. Still not eating the way I need to eat to drop the weight I need to drop, but whatever, right?

Of course not, but nevermind.

Cards were not so much fun tonight. Curly was in a mood, maybe leftover from Tuesday as he was not happy with me Tuesday for pointing out that he and his partner were making extra safe bids in spades after they got a great hand and set Excel and I, which makes the game less fun. He doesn't seem to understand that he gets upset with others for doing the same things when others do it. Tonight he was enjoying Excel's mistakes and my mistakes more than Excel could handle and she quit early just fed up with what she saw as mockery and poor sportsmanship. I saw it, but I've learned that Curly is a poor winner and an even poorer loser and I've come to accept it. It is not fun and hurts sometimes, but I am in debt to him and I don't want him to get upset with me while I am living in his property for free. Excel just let it get to her tonight. We talked about it and we will have a signal to help each other out the next time one of us start feeling hurt or mocked too much. He is always correcting me and interrupting The Commodore hen I ask for an explanation. He confuses Excel and I but there is just no telling him to let The Commodore explain without him pouting. Excel has been playing for a year or so and I've been playing just a few months. The Commodore has been playing bridge for decades and has "masters points" and Curly has been playing for years and has some points. When they team up against us it's really not fair and when Curly laughs at us it's really not fun. Trying to tell him about it does not go well at all, so I ignore it.

Dirt, drama, and detail is not always fun. :)

The good news is I've learned to accept the control Curly wants and I accept his double standard and it didn't get to me tonight. Ever since I passed Excel in overall points and encroached on his second place score he went off on me for cheating and all sorts of things he didn't like (most of which I was not doing, but other things we all do all the time because we play a fun casual game) and he took over keeping score and doesn't let anyone see the scores unless he wants to. I don't even asked about scores anymore and I play differently just to keep from winning too much so he stays happy. Unfortunately tonight he was laughing about winning a little too much and sadly, it got to Excel but that may have brought us closer so we can look out for each other next time.

Hopefully he won't find a way to blame me for Excel being upset. People are sometimes so challenging to play with :)

As I said, Excel and I talked it over as I drove home and she said my understanding and recognizing what happened helped a lot. We will help each other enjoy the games more from now on.

That's the dirt, drama, and details for today.

What about yours? :)