Back to the Blog

If you did not notice, the last few weeks (or longer) the time stamp for each entry has been just before midnight, often 11:59 PM. That is a sign of back-dating as I typically write after midnight because I typically am not home earlier. You may recall Monday, Friday, and Sunday are softball and sports bar nights. Tuesday and Thursday are card nights. Saturday night, well, Saturday night is just alright lol. Especially since I move in with The Maharaja (who must have burnt some toast tonight because the house smelled like burnt toast when I walked in just now), I spend a little time talking to him before heading to my room when he is awake. He typically goes to sleep before midnight. Lately I've been checking Facebook before coming to blogging - or I've been checking for a link there while blogging and get lost there a while so... after midnight. Today I decided to catch up (at least in the briefer step one blog of this (if you recall) two step blogging world I am currently calling the current blogs. I ran out of time before I could update this one (cuz dirt, drama, and details take their sweet time, ya know) so that's coming, but the change is the time date stamp is now accurate in real time, at least for now. Remember RealTime(TM)? How about when blogging was (e)thereal?

This is what we must remember (and the links within, too).

If you understand, then you understand (if you do not understand my silence, you will not understand my words).

Preach it, sistah!

There are only 6,791 posts there that will tell you more than you ever wanted to know about the last seven years (prior to this one) in this life I loosely call mine. If you want to know me, it's a very good place to start. Then there are thousands of other posts in previous and other blogs to consider. The question is how much do you really want to know about me? which boils down to how much do you really want to know me, aye? Yeah, it's a challenge. You want less, you'll find it out there somewhere (I want you to find what you want to find). If you wish to be my friend, the words are here and I am right behind them.

So here we are, back to the blog. This is the challenge I put to you, share. Read and get to know me. Write and let me know you. Who knows what can come of us becoming two who trust each other. Two who love each other. Two who fall in love. Ummm, well, somebody's gotta do it, right? lol lam lau.

So what's going on? (ooo, are we catching up?) :)

Days are passing without a whole lot of meaning these days as I have no truly meaningful connections with anyone anymore now that Jackson has drifted away and I don't see other friends who share more than fun and games too often. Not that fun and games are not fun and valuable sharing, but there is deeper sharing that we all crave (at least I do) and that is not happening these days. We (Jackson and I) still keep in touch through brief texts each day, but we haven't actually shared any time other than a meal maybe once a month and we hardy talk anymore. Sad, but that's the natural pattern when a best friend falls in love and moves on into a couple (or even when a child moves out of the parent's nest). I miss her, but we have different, separate lives now and I accept that I am not a priority for her time. Hey, life goes on and I am happy she is happy. If I had someone to share the deeper stuff with, I'd not miss her the same way, but for now, there's a big void of emptiness where she used to live in me. Maybe you understand.

My time out of work has been mostly divided among a few activities. I mentioned my evenings in a previous paragraph in this entry. My days are spent looking for work and that remains the highest priority after generally enjoying life and caring. Job hunting largely happens online and spills over into other online activities which are primarily writing my babbling blogs, reading and commenting on posts by friends and others on Facebook, reading and commenting on articles on Facebook and sites all over the web, and watching some TV, though time for the latter has diminished a lot in this new shared space as I have less time alone and the sound must be kept very low at night because the bedrooms are close (at the same end of the house). That sometimes makes the shows more like silent films and I lose interest because I typically watch TV in the background (remember?) and that requires the sound.

Beyond the internet which fills my days and late nights, most of my time is playing softball or playing cards. I see other friends, Helena and Jane, mostly, for one on one shared meals or other activities and that is fun. My new roommate, The Maharaja is a brilliant guy and we have interesting conversations about things none of my other friends are interested in if they could understand (science, chemistry, physics, mathematics, that is The Maharaja's playground). He's great for reminding me I have a brain. I don't get together with Lone Wolf too often partly because he works evenings, but I'd like to make a point of spending more time with him and his wife too who was a friend before I met him. Harpo is in a category by himself because he is so unique. We talk a few times a week and when I can drag him out of his house for a little while, we hang out for as long as he can take it. He is so high strung, he doesn't come out too much which is a shame because he has a beautiful heart.

I've left out people, but then, this blog is about me, not them (so there... I throw raspberries in your general direction).

Today I did not spend much time on Facebook because I was catching up on blogs (at least the brief entry one is caught up). I need to balance my time because if I spend too much time giving to others I feel neglected and that throws a monkey wrench into my equilibrium and happiness cuz as happy as I am helping others there's an itch inside that needs scratching too and if I ignore it too long, the pouty child kicks me in the shins (or something like that). Now if I only had someone who was here to remind me when I disappear for a few days or more, oh what fun we'd have playing with words. The dreamer dreams. :)

Because I have to fast tonight for lab work I need to get done tomorrow, I stopped for dinner before heading to Excel and the Commodore's for cards at the Crazy Buffet which I feel is the best Chinese Buffet for the money in town largely because it has my favorite foods prepared as I like them. Mackerel Sashimi is not on any other buffet that I know of and it is always on this one - fresh and filleted well. I love shrimp and this place has medium sized shrimp deveined with tail off cooked just right with onions, mushrooms, and peppers. I can add them to soup or any of the other seafood dishes to increase the shrimp content to my liking. They have ribs and duck, though the duck is sometimes more fatty than the second best buffet. Everything is cooked just right much more often than not and the hot food is kept hot and the cold food is kept cold. There are a lot of other items on their buffet that spans at least ten tables with at least a dozen dishes on each table. They also have a good dessert (typical, but good) bar and ice cream that is fresh and kept at the right temperature. Above all else, it presents as a clean place.

So I stuffed myself with yummy food and life was wonderful once again (I had fasted since Tuesday night).

Tonight cards were fun, though slow moving. That usually happens when Violet is there as she talks a lot and forgets she is playing cards sometimes. It was a surprising evening as Curly must have either searched his heart or spoken to Excel because I showed up and he was friendlier than he's been in months. During the night he explained why he gets so upset with me and while I think it is an excuse, I accepted the explanation and will pay attention to the specific cause which seems to be my talking about cards as we are playing them. Everybody does it, but he singled that out as the thing that triggers him so I will see what I can do about not participating in conversations when I sense he is getting tense and especially not initiating card discussion while playing. I reminded him that we are supposed to be playing a friendly, sometimes silly game and we are also trying to learn and learning doesn't happen without discussion and he agreed, so I hope for some compromise. Hopefully I'll remember at specific moments and hopefully that will help.

I also impulsively watched these these these videos. Did I mention I love shrimp?

I really should sleep now. In six hours I am supposed to be twenty minutes from here helping Tinman paint rooms in his new house. Hopefully I can fall asleep easy. The blood pressure is high (I can tell because I hear it in my left ear as a pulse in the tinnitus and the left neck pain is back for the first time in many weeks, thought that could also be from sitting at the computer and then playing cards all day and night too), partly due to the high salt content in the food I ate tonight, but possibly because or the medication change. I promised the doctor I would go with it until the lab work so I will, but if I feel like this tomorrow I will take the old med with the diuretic and see if there's a difference. I'd rather slightly altered blood values as a side effect from the medication than high blood pressure that keeps me awake with stress and pain and could kill me faster in a variety of ways.

Yeah, how's that for a big finish?

Don'tcha miss me? lol lam :)

narf :)