Health Is Important

Yeah, so I woke up feeling wonky, just not well. I ate some oatmeal and took vitamins and the blood pressure medication and spent the day resting and watching TV. I am not sure how much better I feel now. I got really hungry an hour ago and ate a can of spaghettios and a bag of shrimp and I feel bloated and I am still hungry. I am not sure if that is emotional hunger or the anemia or something else. The tinnitus is screaming pulsing with the blood pressure and the front behind the eye pressure is really strong and it just sucks to be me right now. Somewhere in one of my boxes is the blood pressure meter but I don't feel like finding it. I don't want to sleep, but I don't want to do anything. I just want to feel better.

And I am hungry.

The doctor said I should not exert myself until I get checked out by the GI doctor but that is a whole month away and sitting around is not good either. I may just be experiencing the Wednesday low as the weekly cycle seems to bring me to a physical bottoming out point every Wednesday and yet, the tinnitus screaming pulse has not been this bad in a long time. maybe it's because the blood pressure meds were changed last week. I started on the other meds again last night with the doctor's permission and maybe this is just my body adjusting to them. I just feel really crappy.

Strange hungers call out to me from this body in spite of feeling poorly.

the creativity
is not always easy
when distraction comes
body pain and the mind numbs

Used to be exercise
would being back the wise
but doctors tell me no
the blood work says don't go

pressure is high in here
pulses scream in my ear
the neck and head feel bad
it really makes me sad

I want to be a child
just running free and wild
but I am growing old
the body feeling cold
I'm doing what I'm told
I am finally sold

maybe tomorrow will be better than today
I just want to go out and play