Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Falling Behind and Losing A Mind

The lyrics of RHCP's Under The Bridge play over and over in the brain. Madness calls and I am tempted to answer. it is not so much a matter of losing my mind, it is more a matter of trying to leave my mind behind. There is too much hunger, too many desires not fulfilled. SO what to do, what to do, maybe some kind of message can get through the think dark cloud of foggy gray that has been settled in my way for months or longer since my best friend went away. . . . all I can do is return to the dreams and hope they stay.

That's when something like this came out... today... inspired by J (thank you J) and augmented for me and you and you and you and the whole universe, every living being, every person, every one... may each day of your life be a good day...

I wish I could help you bring less pain and more fun to your days. I have such a full schedule now, I am scratching off activities during the week so I can enjoy work more and be more productive by getting more sleep and maybe, just maybe, the babbling fool who knows the sheer magic of optimism and hopefulness will emerge from the fog of the last sixteen months. Three brief diary entries today is a sign of that kind of miracle. My kind of miracle lol. :)


Note, for the record and posterity and in case it matters and if you really really really want to know (so you can be sure and all that), that there is nothing magical mystical or religious, supernatural or otherwise, about my kind of miracle... mine exist in the real world and can touch you and lift you right out of your mind and into your dreams. It is all in the mind, after all (ah, if you only knew the joy beaming out and in right now, you'd know what life is all about. So back to the letter of the day, hey hey hey and yay.

We won 9-3 tonight. I did not drink the caffeine drink I usually drink so I did not hit well, but I pitched fine. Much fun. Maybe I will sleep tonight. Last night I watched a TV series called Vanished until 4:30 AM. An entire 13 episode season, one night, who are you? The lonelies were strong last night.

Less strong tonight... just a billion tons of loneliness instead of a gazillion. I amuse myself with numbers and truth. I am so easily amused, so loving, so caring, so giving, so alone. Incongruity of logic, too tired to rationalize it away. This would was not made for me or Vincent.

I am laughing. Just too tired to type lol.

lol.

And now (and then), I feel like writing a simple but mushy knock out romantic love song. Prepare yourself, it's gonna be irresistible (ignore ego, let it flow). Ready, set, go...

not because we have to
but because we want to
just because we want to
that's why we care

not for obligation
but for the sensation
just for the elation
that's why we share

there are no rules to guide the heart
don't let anyone tell you how to love
there is no wrong way and if you're smart
you will embrace what you dream of

not because you have to
but because you want to
just because you want to
that's why you love

not cuz you're supposed to
but because you know it's true
you know just what to do
love love love

there are song that tell the truth
there are songs that set you free
there are songs that inspire love
you are that song to me

not because I have to
but because I want to
just because I want to
I am yours

not because we're falling
but because the calling
love's no longer stalling
it opens doors

there are no rules to guide the heart
don't let anyone tell you how to love
there is no wrong way and if you're smart
you will embrace what you dream of

this is your part
my love

not because we have to
but because we want to
just because we want to
we're in love

there's no obligation
there's only sensation
love is the elation
we dream of

not because we have to
but because we want to
just because we want to
we're in love

la la la la la la
la la la la la la
la la la la la la
we're in love

Kind of a happy Hey Jude never ending chorus and I sail off to la la land, sleep that is, no swimming pools r movie stars or corn flakes, nope, just hope and a dream...

May the birds bring song, my the day bring peace, may the pain be light, may you find release for your smile and your art and your love. May today be one of those days you dream of.

and if it's not... love anyway :)


For all of you, love anyway. :)

Narf :)

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