When I think about all I've done for people in this life, all the love I gave by being there for people, and I look at who is there for me now and how, hope for humanity wanes severely because those I've given the most of myself to over the years are gone, nowhere to be seen or heard from when I would like to need them most. This is especially true when I face loneliness and even more when I face death or illness that may lead to death sooner than I'd like. Somehow, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, I still want to believe I will be cared about the way I care. Unconditionally.
On that note, on with more details.
Ok, I should have known. The lab is closed Noon to 1PM for lunch so I shall sit in the parking lot until they reopen. I called the Nephrologist rather than heading to the emergency room and after three calls and several hours o hoping I was making the right decision, I talked to a Nurse who agreed to talk to the doctor about my request to have blood work ordered. At first she said the last blood work was fine and didn't think it was necessary, but I explained more of my history and medically why I thought it would be something the doctor would ok. She finally said she'd ask the doctor who was out of the office today. A few hours later she got back to me. Doctor said yes, so I sit at the lab place.
Right next door is a donut place and I have heard excellent things about them and I am almost hungry, but I am trying to be wise enough to stay away from food until after these lab results are taken. Hopefully they ordered them stat and they wont take long. I am just realizing that I never did get lab results back from the visit to the doctor I had earlier this month, the ones that the nurse was talking about. Must work out getting those too but I have called this office several times in the past week and I don't want to push them too much more so I'll give them until next week.
I like seeing my own results not just for my knowledge, but to have copies for any other doctors. It is pyschologically reassuring to see the precise results, knowing they fluctuate so much and most doctors don't know that unless I show it to them. This is the doctor I trust most out of the recent doctors I've seen, so I won't fault him or his practice too much for making me jump through a hoop or two to get this test ordered or the results sent to me.
I am feeling much better than I was yesterday, but still far from 100% and I am hoping that is not kidney related. It may be the kidneys started the entire episode and it may be food poisoning is responsible for most of this, but I am fairly crtain I had a brief kidney failure episode and we shall see if the test results show that. I believe I got them both working again by forcing 100 ounces of water in a few hours, but I am not absolutely sure about the right one.
So I sit outside the lab in my car typing these words into a notepad because there's no wifi here. There is that donut shop, but I don't see a free wifi sign and if I go inside to ask I might leave with donuts and that is not a good idea even though not eating for 48 hours is not a great idea either.
There is a place called Natice's Salon & Spa directly in front of me at the moment. Ironic coincidence since I want to get my hair cut. The hair is definitely not ready for that because I've not washed it in two days, but I will look up the place because maybe sitting here staring at it is soe sort of sign. Coincidences can be signs if I want them to be, ya know?
The two storefronts to the left of the salon are empty, which is never a good sign. Next to that is a vocational rehab place. Next to that is a church. Yes, a strip mall church. Surprised there are not fast-food churches with drive up windows. I'm sure the confessionals would do a booming business. On the other side of the donut shop is a pharmacy. It is the closest strip mall to a hospital, after all. Not the highest rated hospital in the area which is why I chose a different hospital when I needed one last year. That's it, it's a tiny strip mall by strip mall standards.
Well, that killed 28 minutes and the lab place should be opening in a few. I am finally feeling warmer than I've felt in two days. The temperatures dropped, but it was more due to the food poisoning symptoms and the stress on the kidneys. I am recognizing the symptoms better than ever and this lab test will hopefully show me that I caught the kidney failure before it was too late.
Great, two people just went into the lab place... another line.
Later, in case it matters.
Narf.
No comments:
Post a Comment