Repeating Routines

Some time last week I started this entry and I believe there are missing days that might be where this entry is inserted so if you missed it because you don't click backwards in blog time to see if there are any entries inserted after you already read the current entry then oh well, you may never read this but just in case you are closer to insatiable like me and those closest to me...

I wonder if this was already uploaded somewhere. I maybe I sent it to J. In any case, there is a sense of deja vu that may be passed along to you if you have been with me for a while. My hope, as always, is to let whatever is in my head out so it can be processed, understood, and resolved so life can end up in a smile.

Or something like that.

It is another morning and the routine starts again. The madness of the rat race that depletes the poet's pen. A quest for paper wealth that leads to moral bankruptcy. An addiction to consumption that destroys humanity. And the cow cries moo and the horse just sighs and the pig and what do we do with our big eyes destroy the Earth pray to the skies pretending we are right and wise. As if a smile is adequate disguise. As if we do not know we live in lies.

Yup, another morning and I woke with the alarm on time and took a hot shower and stumbled into rhyme as I just sat down here to release the reflection and prapare myself for more meaningless rejection as that seems to be the way humans want it to be in this reality... it never made sense to me.

Thank goodness for a friend who understands so I don't feel so alone (and I refer to J at the moment, as no one else is interested in staying close to me these days. Jackson is drifting farther away with each passing moment. It does seem that the Maharaja is so used to being alone and focused primarily on intellectual explorations almost every hour of the day and night (admirable and he seems quite genuinely happy, though not the balanced life experience I seek) that I am not sure if he shares the depths of an emotional life with anyone. My cards playing friends all have their ways of (and reasons for) staying on the surface emotionally. It could be that in spite of the drama I see so much online and in life, the surface is where most people simply want to be.

Sigh... and I long for sharing the deepest depths of everything.

This never lasts... waking with enough time to write a few words, that is. Especially when I do not like the job. I'll be waking at the last moment and rushing out the door any day now, but today, again, I have a few moments (fewer than yesterday).

I thank J for caring enough to motivate me to send more words to her and to the universe.

So I send her and you and everyone everywhere another smile and thank you for any positive energy you might send out too as the bittersweet irony of a life of pain that keeps some of you home is that you do not have to spend most of your time pretending that some paper-pushing quest for money is not insane. While I imagine anyone who has not choice but to stay home due to physical limitations wishes they could be out in the world much more, anyone with any real sense understands they would not enjoy being immersed in the madness as it is more than enough just to glance at the news now and then to turn the stomach and pound sorrow into the mind.

I wrote this upon waking...

It is another morning and the routine starts again.
The madness of the rat race that depletes the poet's pen.
A quest for paper wealth that leads to moral bankruptcy.
An addiction to consumption that destroys humanity.

And the cow cries moo and the horse just sighs
and the pig and what do we do with our big eyes
destroy the Earth, pray to the skies
pretending we are right and wise.

As if a smile is adequate disguise.
As if we do not know we live in lies.
Yup, it is another morning and I woke with the alarm on time and took a hot shower and stumbles into rhyme as I just sat down here to release the reflection and prepare myself for more meaningless rejection as that seems to be the way humans want it to be in this reality... it never made sense to me. While more entries await in the pipeline, this entry is here to start today with a smile and hopefully keep me from succumbing to the madness. Reminders are good. :)

Time to make the donuts?... Time to go insane again. lol. lam...

Luckily the babbler still inspires my smile :)

As I wrote to J just a few moments ago, as the words sing my hope for everyone too...

I send you hope for more comfort and less pain.
May peaceful painless thoughts embrace you
as love refills your brain with a soothing refrain,
This is my wish for everyone too.
Hug. :)