Work Nuts

Going nuts from work or being nuts about work or perhaps going nuts over work, I mean, I am not Paul Watson, after all. I do agree that humanity is insane, but I failed in any endeavors to acheive any detached greatness (or self-sufficiency, even) mostly because I want love, but that's another story for another song. This could be a clueless link or maybe it is kismet, a universal sign of understanding from the powers that be here, there, and everywhere. All I know is the link was sitting here in the way of the babble so I included it in the babble as fascinating as that may be, or not to be, but then, maybe it was another question for another time too.

The real crime is that I missed it all because I have no luck or perhaps, ambition. Life is so different for me than for anyone I've ever met, no one even knows the half of it. So I've been stuffing myself with comfort foods full of carbohydrates, simple and complex, and fats or all sorts mostly to bring taste bud euphoria. All other forms of euphoria are less available for reasons beyond my control, though I could get closer if I really wanted to and the babbling is a slightly (or much) healthier form of satisfaction, if not euphoria, that still rolls around now and then.

Meanwhile, crunchy M&Ms are almost as addictive as Nestle's Crunch for me in spite of the planetary rape conducted as business as usual by the company. Worldwide, a tanker crashes and spills oil into the oceans every three days. The vast majority of deep sea animals are gelatinous, I mean, in case you ever wondered. Frozen water and one ton of pressure per square inch and life survives and we complain about our lot in life.

Just getting homes from a sixteen hour day at the computer fixing the dabase. I won't be working Friday or half the day Thursday because I have the colonoscopy appointment on Friday, so I am packing as many hours as I can into Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday this week. I will skip cards Thursday evening and may skip cards tomorrow. Earning money and rest must take precedence.

So tired. Sixteen hours at the computer with just a few short breaks. Cleaning up the data is a painstakingly tedious task, or series of many such painstakingly tedious tasks. Gonna sleep soon.

The job is fun for me, actually, but it will not pay the bills as it is, so I check the mailbox for news of other jobs daily. Nothing so far. Part of me would like to stay in the easy convenient place, but realistically, I am not living comfortably in this camped space and the monotony of the job would drive me crazy after a while. Still, it's fun and very convenient for now.

I'm just going to let what happens happen Friday. I told them I don't have transportation and I don't want the total anesthesia, they will do what they want to do. I'm ambivalent as I really don't want the anesthesia. So many risks and discomforts and three days of life turned upside down without pay. I know, be grateful. I am, but still, what will be will be.

I want to go in early again tomorrow, 6am or earlier, so i am going to sleep now. The brain is so tired, I am not even sure I am making any sense lol.

nite nite... I think.

narf :)