. . . Lost . . . I feel kinda lost as I type on this tiny iPhone 5 keyboard as I lay here on my side listening to music on this same iPhone 5. Guess it is a pretty amazing little gadget. I wonder if it would type what I say if I turned off the music. So far I have not had any satisfaction with any voice to text or voice controls anywhere. This phone drives me nuts in the car. That could be poor compatibility too. The car sucks. Toyota gets a total fail when it comes to their navigation package. The screen has stopped responding properly. The voice control is pathetic. The map is $170 a year to update so it’s virtually useless now. Never buy Toyota. Anyway this is likely to be one long ramble with only periods for punctuation as I have enough trouble typing as it is without switching keyboards. Fat thumbs don’t do well with the small screens. I am bored with this subject.
Today was another good day at work. I was at the office until about 12:30 and then spent the rest of the afternoon out inspecting and photographing county properties. Toured the landfill to assess it for signage to protect people from forgetting Safety and to protect the county from stupid sue-happy people. Some people are so pathetic wanting something for nothing and always looking for someone to blame. We have a president like that now. The human race is showing its immaturity as technology gives them the opportunity to communicate instantly to the world.
The prophets and sages
Will our history books have
Any worth on on their pages?
We’re a pathetic species
Full of fear and doubt
Our character can be seem in
What we get for differ about
The fourth estate
Sells pain and misery
Soap opera journalism
No credibility
Manipulated by politicians
Owned by oligarchy that is reality and
The same goes for you and me
Lost in distraction
Escaping with poisons
Always blaming others
Without any reason
Immaturity
This humanity
Lost in delusion
Fear and misery
If you ever got real
It would blow up your mind
Lucky you have your gods
To keep you blind
Pushing my little iPhone to add music... I started another letter to myself...
Where there is a will there is a way. Hopefully I will be able to understand what I meant to write through all the typos because I am feeling like writing tonight and also feeling like listening o music and so the thumbs are moving and iHeartRadio is playing but I think I’ve exhausted the current playlist as imagine dragons radio is starting to repeat songs. Time for another. If I ruled the world playlists would not repeat lol.
Ok I switched to moody blues radio. After the commercial. So what song shall they begin with? My Wildest Dream. I wonder where you are. I wonder if you think about me. Yeah sure I needed that like a hole in the head lol lam. I wonder if I OJ care. I wonder if you still remember.
No matter what
You can pretend
You forgot
You can deny
That love always grows
You can kill brain cells
But your heart still knows
Love never ends
It’s always there
You can pretend
You don’t care
Diminish yourself
Accept wasted time
But your heart knows
It’s a lie and a crime
Crimes of the mind
Deny your heart
Become unkind
Become careless
Soon you will find
Life becomes rote
Thoughtless and cold
Small and afraid
Broken and old
Buried so deep
In your hidden heart
Love is waiting
For you to start
Remembering
Believing
Living
Again
Love never ends
Try to hide
Your heart still knows
Love is inside
Truth in the heart
Never pretends
Hearts always know
Love never ends.
And then... out of the blue... I wrote to Toronto after years of not and silence...
Then, thinking about the term BFF that Jackson used so often to describe me and us, I wrote this to myself...So I forgot my ID somewhere (hopefully in my bag at work) and I chose to monitor some workers fixing a hole (where the rain was getting in) so I did not get back to the building before it locked up for the night (new fangled electronic automatic locking doors dangit) so I could not get my laptops (which I take to work because I am currently living in the ghetto (and Elvis is nowhere to be found) so I carry my laptops everywhere I go and I still felt like writing so I decided to attempt typing more than a few words on the tiny keyboard that this iPhone 5 presents and I wrote two letters and rhymes to myself and decided to see who I as in my address book and lo and behold there you where and so here we are. That sentence could have been a lot longer in case you forgot. Yeah yeah yeah.
So shall I chide you for neglecting the myriad of blogs you convinced me to create foa you and me and posterity? Posterity cries and sends heap big guilt trips. I will do not such thing since I know just seeing my name has you cringing (even if it was ever so slightly) before even opening the email and now you should be laughing at the irritation that almost surprise you. Some things never change. Like the guy with the ego who thinks it knows everything typing these words as cocky as ever, no doubt.
So do you wanna catch up or what?
Why?
PS... Hope smiles outweigh frowns and health overcomes ills and age. May love still compound and words demand to fill a page. Let grammar be damned, restrictions be gone. So the never ending story can carry on.
Narf 🙄😝😂🙂😇
That’s me. Yup. I am my BFF. Who else can I count on as much as me, after all. So here I am writing to myself again because, well, just because. It’s nobody’s fault but my own. No one can do anything o me unl SS I give them the power to affect me or have an effect on my affect for that matter. No one can Hurt me unless I give them the power by making them that important to me that. Their actions or opinions effect my affect. No one can betray me unless I trust them enough to depend on them. No one can abandon me unless I choose to adopt them as family and want them to stay close in life. No one can alter my choices or behaviors unless I choose to empower them. Simple as that.
So here I am writing to myself again because this is where I began, alone, explaining the experience we call life to myself. Words help d me figure out why love attracted me so and why live hurt so much. Words helped me understand that I want to love for live no matte what. Love is my purpose in this life. Believing in love. Trusting love. Living love. Being love. Being in love with love.
So I believe in love and once again it’s all I’ve got. Elton”s Made In England plays in my head even as America sings Horse With No Name on the iHeartRadio on the iPhone.
The screen keeps changing to vertical and that makes it even more impossible to type cuz it is so small or my thumbs are so big whichever whatever it seemed much more comfortable to type on my left side than it is on my right. Why did it stay horizontal then and not now. And locking the rotation seems to lock it in vertical. Dang imperfect technology. As The Who song Won”t Get Fooled Again. Sheesh. In the other hand this Moody Blues station with a little help from my thumbs (ups) is rocking just right tonight.
By my belief in love
I adopt family
But they don’t adopt me
I share everything
Give myself away
All in the hope
That someone will stay
Here nobody does
They all go away
And still I keep giving
That’s just how I play
That is just my way
And whether I’m right
Or whether I’m wrong
I’ve got to be me
That’s where I belong
I’m happiest when
I’m giving my all
Even if it leads to
Another long fall
I found out that giving
Is my reason for living
My happy jest day
Is a day
I give everything away
The only thing that makes me happier
Is sharing everything
With someone who shares everything with me
Unconditional love
Unconditional trust
Family
Or
Bust
And until I find someone who will be my family
I am by myself my own BFF
Rhyme the end
Sleep now and dream zzzzzzzz
😇😴😇😴😇😴😴😴
I am really a simple child with a simple dream. I became a complicated man because things did not go according to plan (probably because there never was a plan which is also why I am what I am and where I am and so on and so forth and scooby doobie do dah day oh day ay ay ay oh and still I want to go home) using word to explain things to myself while simultaneously sharing the words with others (in my public blogs that keep my dream of finding the one alive in some lost forgotten hopelessly hopeful way) and I write to people who care (or who once cared) about me when I want inspiration and proof that I still beli e in and actualize love unconditionally that has no end so here I am using you to perpetuate that delusion of a dream with self-mockery and humility and just a touch of good old fashioned insanity cuz life is so being trying to be normal and all that conformity if I OJ know what I mean (and someday my princess will come and she will) 😁👏😇
Because the so me is round it turns me on. 🙂
So I left my laptops at work cuz I misplaced my ID and the doors locked automatically before I got back because I stayed out to monitor a crew of workers fixing a hole in my the street that I had to force them to fix by calling he president of the Utility company and also getting a couple of my County departments to Call and pressure them as well. I’ll be citizens who called me are very happy. I love my job 😁
Unfortunately I felt lost without my laptops wh n I go home. I somehow did no eat or just lay down but instead did a load of laundry dry and turned on iHeartRadio on my his old iPhone 5 and have been enjoying music all night and unpacked finally all the hurricane packing I did and then starting typing on this tiny keyboard and here we are four letter already sent and you are the lucky fifth even though you don’t know what to do when I send you a babbling t mind dump like this lol (and hopefully you are laughing with me). 🙄😂😁😇
The loneliness I feel
How much you want someone
To love you is so real
How much you do not want to be alone
I am just like you but I am on my own
You should understand
The emptiness I feel
When I am not in love
The longing is too real
How much I want someone to love me
I am just like you except I’m free
All I ever wanted was to fall in love
With someone who fell in love with me
All I ever wanted was to share everything
With someone who would share it all with me
But even when I found someone
All they did was take
Until I had nothing left
But my heart to break
I don’t understand why I
Have failed to find my love
When in this life it is the only
Dream I’m dreaming of
I don’t want to start feeling sorry for myself
I just want to share my life with someone else
Don’t you know someone
Who feels like we do
Who believes in love
Who has a heart that’s true
Who will not be cruel
Who can share everything
Who can understand
This song I sing?
Who can understand
This song I sing
All I ever wanted was to fall in love
With someone who fell in love with me
All I ever get wanted was to share everything
With someone who could share everything with me
La la la 🙂
Sigh. So I write the longing for love in the middle of the night. Like the carpenters. Need To Be In Love is my hearts theme song. Ever hear it? I wonder. In all the years you e known me. Did you know? Honesty by Billy Joel is my minds theme song. imagine by John Lennon is my life theme song. Someone who shares those three without compromise is so very hard to find. But compromise changes the song and it is not mine. To dream the impossible dream...
I really did do it my way. I had to be me. There are three more theme songs of this life as I know it in those last three sentences. Did you know? And the. There come The Moody.Blues.
Some may read sadness and pity the foolish heart and impossible dreamer I am. But I find hole in the songs that are the soundtrack of this life as I’ve know. It. I don’t want it to end u til I find her but I am running out of time. I know she’s out there somewhere. Moody Blues to the rescue Saved By The Music... saved by the song that I sing. 😇
I am hoping your silence this week is not because I caused a problem the night I accidentally Car called and you. I don’t know if this is going to make your phone sound either and now that I thought of that I’m gonna stop writing because I don’t want to upset you or Tina just because I trust you and believe you understand my heart and I feel like expressing myself and writing this to you helps me feel less alone cuz maybe someone understands.
Maybe I’m wrong. Thank you Moody Blues once again. I am wide awake at 4am without a soul in sight but still hanging on the hope that I’m alright. Carpenters sing my theme song and I feel the hope and comfort and smile as I close me eyes and welcome my fondest dream.
Fifth letter tonight. Sleep soon I hope it really is 4am. Lol. I’ll send this in the morning if I remember. Thank you for being you and inspiring me to trust your heart to listen to mine. 😊😇 Nite.
And that was the night on the phone with myself...
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