Flurries of Forever

The coincidence of the season, with boxes gift wrapped all around, it must be nice to have a big family. TA visited his and there are dozens of presents piled up here, distracting me from the primary activity most important to me, which is survival and... prolonging this life. The chocolate stares me down like a mammoth in a block of ice moving at a glacier's pace toward the last day of this life, with minimal punctuation and hardly a breath or pause, I am still as carelessly carefree as I ever was. As I ever was.

As if I'll live forever, I challenge all good sense, I stuff my face with carbs and fats, and sweets, my best defense - against thinking about the future, or even looking around now... I'd do what is best for me but I do my best to forget how.

Pretending I would if I could, but I don't as if I couldn't, knowing I should... Frosty the Snowman... never had it so good.

Fifty-five degrees and feeling the chill. Half a hot shower is half a thrill, momentary overkill. Holding back the flood of ears that poured out inside over the years not because of any fears just wondering why no one cares, I mean, everyone cares, just not enough to show. Everyone cares about themselves and what little they know. I always want more because I want everything, because I feel everything, because I am everything, why don't you know you are part of everything too, the universe and me and you. how do you turn off your feelings so well? Maybe it's because you've bought into heaven and hell. Whatever tomorrow may bring, today is my only time and even if it doesn't always write, I'll stay a spell.

Who said Be Here Now and did he really? Die? Yesterday is still a natural high. If we never say hello, we don't have to say goodbye, maybe that's why so many don't even try, maybe that's why so many choose to live a lie. In promises of tomorrows that only come after you die. Living in the moment, feeling everything, letting imagination expand the reality, but still rooted in the moment, feeling everything, can you open your eyes and let your self sing? Or are you too afraid of something - or everything.

Everything at once, in the moment, is the only reality I know. Everyone at once, in the moment, and we've only just begun. Experiencing every moment with all senses wide open, letting everything show without fear is so much fun. Why wouldn't anyone choose any other way to be? I've been trying to understand for years, creating illusionary fears, trying to fit in, trying to connect, trying to be like my peers, but it's not working... as nobody nears.

Still feeling part of everything, even feeling on my own, being part of everything is never being alone. The illusions of loneliness are not as strong as reality, even if I opened the floodgates and tried to let tears drown me, I'd only remember how to breath under water, it, and everything else, is still there... deep in every memory. Hereditary memory? Inter-species memory? Life-long memories can come back to the moment as all life is part of everything, flurries of forever, like magic the moment can become... everything.

Good morning :)

Narf :)