I went shopping for detergent and dish washing soap and found a lamp / wireless charger for $25 that is perfect for this space and solves a lighting issue cuz the lamp I have reflects off the TV. Th new amp can sit on a table next to the computer and does not reflect. The giddy excitement that inspired the title is the wireless bluetooth earbuds I found for $15. The work and they are comfortable, so no longer will I have to turn the TV up when the kids are here and the little one leaves the TV on loud in her room and the other living room loud while watching her iPad (which is a frequent occurrence), loud. I'd been meaning to shop for earbuds since I moved in, but somehow, like a few other things, time passed and I didn't learn what I needed to know to choose wisely. So I chose impulsively. I actually wandered around the electronics section of the store for ten minutes comparing other earbuds, but somehow I wasn't ready to spend more than a hundred dollars without knowing just why.
So ok, I can be an addicted to buying stuff consumerism if I want to be. The neurochemical highs triggered by buying stuff is still stimulating in spite of the stupidity and suicidal behavior it actually is. The dreamer can dream of no possessions and actually could live without them, but without a partner, the stuff distracts from loneliness and amuses the child and occupies the mind. Figuring out how things work, making them work right, and playing with the way stuff interacts and works with other stuff, that's fun. Sharing anything with the right person would be more fun, but alone, some of the fun comes in small packages of toys and stuff.
Laundry spins around the washer and dryer. The dishwasher is drying the dishes it washed. The floor was swept, the recliner was vacuumed, there's all sorts of cleaning and stuff going on. I even pulled out the dirt devil for the first time in years. I think it worked really well. I didn't check how well it did on the deepest recesses of the chair and I didn't turn over the chair, which would be a better way of checking and cleaning it, but hey, first vacuuming with the dirt devil is progress, right? The house is big and there's a lot more to do, but we are getting there.
This morning was fun. Softball is back, hopefully every weekend (even though it is on the field I don't like much, farther away, no shade (more than a few times overheated dangerously and twice ended up in the hospital, so no exaggeration we I say no shade.. definitely not safe during the hottest summer days, like life-threateningly dangerous on the hottest days, but it's softball and softball is life, ya know?... shhhh, I'm careful*), with more responsibility than I've taken on in a very long time. I'll be taking the lead when the senior coaches aren't there, which could be often, maybe most games. I will find someone to do the paperwork, because being ready to pitch and doing the paperwork and coaching the team is not conducive to winning or enjoying the game, but for now, I'm diving in with all I've go and excited about the change.
So the day flew by relatively speaking. Laundry overnight, softball all morning, then shopping, then food, then some writing, some TV, then a nap, then more laundry, some texting with Jackson and some others, then more writing, more TV, more snacks, and here we are. The time at softball was fun and satisfied the social life some, but I still long for more intimacy. Th personal texting with Jackson satisfied the hunger for a close friend, but I still long for more intimacy. There was a time when I ached for more sharing, cried for the empty feeling that I thought could only be filed by by another person. There was a time when I wanted to be cred about so much that I wondered about my own self-worth. I have long since learned that nobody has to care about me for me to love myself and now I am worth everything I can give, which is all I am (and there's a lot in me, potential and actual). I know I need nothing more than the physical sustenance required for this body to survive. Still, I want more.
Anybody?
Narf :)
* Yeah, it would be really nice if I had a partner to watch out for me and be careful with me, but I don't... and I really don't want to pass up the chance for exercise. Especially softball exercise. I'm a really nice guy, if a bit different (oh so misunderstood, alas, we can hope for the amazing mind who can... understand?) lol, so feel free to be concerned and send that partner, m'ok?
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