After Hump Day

Comes Thump Day. Yes, I just invented it, so when it catches on, you can send me the royalties. Just drop them in the ocean cuz that's most likely where I'll be scattered. We may be on the cusp of another sensibly insane period. Softball Monday, softball Tuesday, walk for 8 hours Wednesday, softball Thursday, and suddenly, I'm not craving the pizza TA has on the counter. Two yogurt and two protein drinks, about 400 calories, that's it. I hope lol. Will power like this has not been around for quite some times, so I don't know how long it will last. There's double stuffed oreos on the kitchen table. The kids are here, so the house is a calorie fest of junk food and sweet fatty snacks. The fried chicken on the table is calling me, but I reached for the yogurts and protein drinks. mishugana, give me strength. Hey, you ask your god, I'll ask whom I want, m'ok?

The yogurt is kind of old. It's not as sweet as it usually is. The bacteria is obviously winning. I only have forty seven more in the fridge. It was on sale and I was hoping I'd stop the pig-out and start the healthy lower calorie sensible eating habits. That was a month or two ago, at least. The better the aid digestions, my dears. I sense the potential for a dramatic change coming on. The elliptical is arriving in less than 10 days and maybe I am attempting to be ready for it. I want it to like me, after all. Exercise equipment mocks the fatties, in case you didn't know it. After gyms close, they get together and make fat jokes. They have to be careful in the 24 hour gyms cuz they never know when someone is gonna walk in. People don't like it when a gym seems haunted.

So it's gonna be another long weekend with the kids. Chatter, noise, food temptations, distractions sucking me out of my head and into the land of foodie heaven. I don't want to die in there, so it's time to take a vacation from my addiction. Fatigue lowers will power, so I really should sleep. The bedroom isn't big enough for a recliner or a big TV and I don't want to feel stuffed into one room when I don't have to be, so compromise. Remember how to ignore the temptations and all the rest so self-discipline can return. The healthiest and most aware and most me I've ever been were during times of being most alone. If only someone understood and could reach me there, life would be exponentially more amazing. I mean, imagine...

Two of me? lol.

Bring on the elliptical. Eight nights from now, I'll be able to ride it anytime I want. Will the physical life finally change for the ultimate last phase of physical high? That may be the plan, I mean, it cost more than my first brand new car (which was a Cougar decked out with every luxury option available at the time and it coasted along at 140 miles an hour for almost twenty four hours without dying. It did need new shocks and ties, but hey, so do race cars after 1900 miles at that speed and it wasn't even on a smooth track. I traded it in a year and a half later for a new Celica GT. That was fun too. Did you want to gt to know me through memories? Just ask, I sometimes tell lol).

There are some entries, actually hundreds, but I only have a few in the pipe near enough to remember where they are. It used to matter to me so much more than it does now. To keep the entries flowing, to keep tossing out the bottles, to keep the hope of being found alive.

I sometimes miss those days more than words can say.

So how are you?

Narf :)