Just stick your thumb up in the air and open your mind.
Not that thumb, silly. The one connected to your core that can touch the eternal infinity we loosely call the universal energy every physicist and most other poets, prophets, sages, gurus, spiritual leaders, and those sometimes called "touched" get a tiny glimpse of now and then. It's in there, you just have to let it out. If your reply is anything like "but I have to find it first" you are limiting your perspective.
Open your mind.
So softball was a lot of fun tonight in a competitive game we hung on to after taking a 15-5 lead. They scored 5 in the first on a whole lot of errors. We came back with 6 in the bottom of the first (with me making the last out, still slumping at the plate, alas). We continued to score in the second and third to build our lead. They started coming back in the fifth and sixth and our bats died. Final score was 17-12 (or was it 16-13) and a few great catches by a couple of our outfielder was the difference maker. Luckily, I was able to get the other team to hit upward and the speed in our outfield caught several balls on dead runs near the fence. Fun.
The best part is I ran out to coach third for the first three innings and whether anyone else wants to admit it or not, that is a big reason we scored 15 runs in those innings. I stopped the runnings when I had to (usually we blow runs and big innings by trying to score when staying at third would keep an inning going). Every runner I advanced was safe, even the close calls. I love coaching third base almost as much as I love pitching.
Another factor in this bouncy mood is I did not bloat myself today. Lunch was 8 ounces of yogurt. Dinner was a slice (one) of pizza and another yogurt and about 8 ounces of a protein drink. The belly remains big and I am a little hungry, but I am going to try to go to bed soon without eating anything and hope I can fall asleep. That does not happen much, but I am gonna reach for the awareness at my core and see if the procrastinating apathetic self-pathetic fool will let me get back to where I once belonged.
Or at least a little closer.
If only someone was here to acknowledge, to cheer, to adore, to idolize, to fall deeply, madly, unconditionally in love with me. I'd happily accept just the acknowledgment (cuz the core energy knows, alone is the state of life for human beings and almost every living being... except when we share the illusion of sharing and oh, does anyone remember the power of one?... two?... doo ya doo ya doo whatcha do?).
Hunger is starting to get loud in my ears. Dod I take my BP meds tonight? I don't remember. That means I am either going to skip them or I am going to risk doubling up and when I am already at the max safe dose, that is even worse for the kidnets and liver and other parts of the body than just being on the max dose. I wonder if the anal rash is a side effect.
Well, you didn't expect all that now, did you?
LOLOL, loudly, LAM and all the fun of the fair. At least. Remember when I used to write stuff just to see if anyone was reading or paying attention? What? You don't remember? Guess you had to be there. You are here now, aren't you? Just nod your head if you aren't sure, you are. Maybe I'll drink the last of the protein drink.
Dang one track mind that is a direct link to the sensory pleasure of the taste buds and the warped comfort of a bloated belly. It just has to stop, I mean, that sort of think can get someone killed.
There is food everywhere in this bedroom. Canned food. Snack food. Pasta. Living here is not good for my health in so very many ways. It is still my choices, however. Turning off will power is a suicidal choice and since most people many many suicidal choices throughout their life (every day, even), I fit right in. Human, me, whoda thunk it.
Exercise would be wise right now.
Showering is not gonna happen tonight though and I don't want to go to bed sweaty. I already ran the water for two mini-showers today and Eb's grumbling about the water bill because apparently usage and coast per gallon went up considerably. Homes are still flooded from the Hurricane that passed two months ago and we are charged for the basic essential survival commodity, water. Humanity sucks in so very many ways.
I must (for my health which becomes a need now) stop for water, paper towels, laundry soap, laundry disinfectant, bleach, disinfectant spray, anti-bacterial dish soap, antibacterial body soap, canned chicken, fat free mayo, fat free turkey, more protein drinks, more yogurt, light vegetable spread, ketchup, some cheeses, some dark chocolate, oatmeal, no salt canned veggies, a pasta cooking pot, cheap sheets and pillow cases, a remote mouse, laxative tablets, a refill on the BP meds, a refill on the nystatin, anti-bacterial ointment and powder of assorted varieties, baby powder, barbecue seasoning, and more but I am tired of this list. I also must find a doctor, find a hair-cutter, find a new bat, and find a ruler to measure my foot length because I desperately need new cleats.
I hope I remember what I left out before I die.
If you are not laughing, you really need to get your irreverence and sarcasm organs checked out. Both are needed to understand me. Unless you enjoy being confused and/or jumping to the wrong conclusion (assumptions make fools of geniuses), in which case carry on enjoying yourself.
IGNORANT
~<>~
BLISS AHEAD
Once there was a way... to get back homeward. I wish I was... homeward bound. OMG, The Sundays knew all along, and who finds religious connections in that miracle? Or was it coincidence? That would be telling.
It's dumb - I know what I want to say
But I can't even take one breath
So now still burning silently away
A storm without the thunder
And that's not even the killer line... listenng to their dreams all night and waking up alone. When was the last time you thought of me and looked at the phone? You know you would if you were on your own. Is that usery? Confusery? Maybe now you (might {maybe} can) understand... my monotone.
I think I'll fall asleep now.
Narf :)
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