Cool, yay Clemson. As good as Nick Sabin and Alabama are, I have no particular affiliation or reason to root for Alabama and the SEC is treated like they are infallible around here by very arrogant commentators, reporters, fans, and many people just because people like winners. The referees even gave Alabama time to rest on defense with two unnecessary reviews of plays that were obviously not questionable. The commentators mentioned those were bad calls by the referees and they helped Alabama. The local commentators will find flaws with Clemson and excuses for Alabama as they always do. That is why I am so happy for Clemson to have come back in the final second to win. The way they won, especially for the senior quarterback who has become a hero at Clemson, was perfect.
Meanwhile, back in the life I loosely call mine, softball returns.
The rewards I receive when playing softball are so vital to so many aspects of me and life, the thought of giving up the game is not one I want to considered (even though I should stop avoiding, right?). The physical exercise outdoors and social camaraderie with people who don't just want to sit around and eat all the time is vital to sustaining health and living longer. The ego and spiritual reward of facing the dangers and challenging the body to pitch, hit, and field well for the team is essential to fending off depression, especially when I have no other opportunities for success in life beyond the cards and games, which are so much less challenging and so much more solitary activities that are much more cutthroat.
If I ever seriously consider giving up playing softball, please somebody stop me. That decision will be a prelude to deciding to die. I hope I do not accept death before I have no other choice. Simple as that.
If anyone cares about me continuing to be alive, and I hope someone does, this will be taken seriously.
Softball is the last vestige of physical activity and so much more to me on so many levels it is challenging to describe. I stopped running, foolish move, and all I have left remotely like it is softball (I really should get back to running again, but I have so many good excuses, not having money or space of my own just being one, but let;'s leave that for another discussion as softball is what I do now). I welcomed the game back into daily life tonight with open arms and feel wonderful. I stayed after my game to watch two others, the girls I know on one field and then two teams in the new division we moved into on another field. On paper and on the field, we are probably the third or fourth place team in this new division, but we have a shot at first if we play well.
Unfortunately, a few new players will not help us do better than third or fourth. A few were very disappointing tonight and I hope they are better than they showed. One in a very key position (shortstop and lead off) does not belong at either spot because he is afraid of the ball (he plays ten feet back on the outfield, so even if he catches a hard grounder, he often gets the ball to first too late and slow grounders are easy singles... most of the time he misses hard grounders because he is afraid to put his body in front of the ball and he jerks himself out of the way so he doesn't keep his eye on the ball. He wears a mask and is still too afraid so he should not be playing infield. Trouble is, I don't think we have many infielders on the team from what I can see so far).
We won anyway. We scored 10 runs in the first two innings, but then the bats died (I went 3 for 3, which was great for me, but the team went flat after the second). Unfortunately, three errors and a wild throw by the shortstop (all three were double play balls I set up by walking the first batter and getting the second batter to hit a ground ball), a couple of errors at first, and four or five outfield errors let them come back to tie the game 12-12 in the top of the seventh. We pushed a run in to win in the bottom of the seventh, but it should not have been that close and though it was exciting, we will not win much in this league playing the way we played tonight.
Still, it was wonderful to be back on the field. Win or lose, softball is essential to my physical and mental health. So I must remind myself that this will be the last season I can afford to play if I don't find income, as much as that realization stressed me, but hopefully it will motivate me even more.
I will enjoy softball - and life - as long as I can.
Happy happy joy joy.
Yes, I still have too much fun for one person, which is simultaneously gleeful and depressing, the former because, well, fun is gleeful (at least my fun is) and the latter, well, because this world is depressing - where are the people who truly care, are sensitive to the madness of insensitivity, cruelty, and fears of humanity and yet still able to be the innocent children who find the fun inside and in life? Yes, well, you work on that one and feel free to apply yourself while I continue on my merry way. You are welcome on my merry way. All you need to do is keep up, handle it, and understand it's up to you, then do it.
Consider it a challenge.
Narf :)
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