This entry was written weeks ago and just sat in the blog file getting nudged further and further down by more hurried entries because life changed from stress and leisure to stress and working, the stress remaining constant because I gave away too much in this life and have no way of paying for a place to live or any of the things most people call normal and take for granted in this culture. Much of the stress comes from the cultural taboo on homelessness and even more from the laws against living on and with the land the way all living beings do on this planet, except humans. I really despise much of the modern world and the arrogance and cruelty with which modern humans treat everything, including each other.
Anyway, Rasputin called recently and that got me to thinking about old times (and the previous blog too) and the people who used to be mentioned a lot more in this blog. Rasputin, you may recall, moved into my two bedroom apartment after the first roommate I had in that apartment moved out. That was the first apartment I had after returning more permanently to Orlando after my foray with love and family in Canada.
I got a call from Precious recently as well. A little after Resputin moved into that apartment, his daughter, Precious, moved in and we moved to a three bedroom place (that was the place destroyed by the hurricane season of 2004. Charlie made a direct him. We survived and moved to another building in the same community. Precious still lives around here, in fact, right across the door from that first apartment . Coincidence is amusing.
I hear from Precious fairly regularly. I am her second dad and the closest family she has in Orlando. She has a boyfriend and they seem to get along well. She knows I would drop anything if she was in trouble cuz that's what family does. Her drifting away was expected, she was my adopted child. I still pay for her phone as a birthday gift (that did not seem nearly so extravagant a gift when I had much more income lol). We had dinner for her birthday in December, so her calling because she unexpectedly needed a ride from the airport was not a surprise. She's back in school and finishing her degree.
Rasputin's call was the first time I heard from him in a couple of years. He's in Tucson delivering pizzas for Papa Johns and says he makes $15 an hour. I must look into that if Friday does not come up with an offer.
No new interviews set up. I sent a few resumes out this week. No word from the case worker about the colonoscopy. I have been hearing from another case worker who has left a message about health care. He thinks I might qualify for VA health care (which I know from being in the industry can be a nightmare) so I am not as excited as I ought to be I suppose). I must call him back and find out more, I am trying not to drive much to save gas money. the care also is well past due it's service schedule and it desperately is due for the $70 oil change which I might do and likely due for it's 25,000 mile servicing which is a lot more and I simply will not do until I have income. The tires will need replacing this year as well, hopefully not too soon. March is insurance month. I hope the savings is not gone but I am looking at April as the first missed car payment so I will wait until Friday and if I do not get an offer, I will check Uber, Pizza places, and other more temporary jobs for $8-$10 an hour.
Enought thoughts of money.
We had a 35 degree night here last week. Nights have been hitting the 40s a few times as well. For this area, that's pretty much winter at it's coldest. It does mean wearing more clothes and therein washing more clothes which means spending more money, so I'mm be happy when winter is over even though part of me loves the change. If I was not so close to the bottom of my savings (and I did not have car payments and had indoor laundry), I'd be enjoying it much more.
It's 55 degrees right now and the sun should be up in an hour. If I eat I'll probably get sleepy (a sure sign my sugar levels are up and I am into Type 2 diabetes again, dangit), but I am hungry. I am definitely stalled, in case you did not notice. It is not as easy to laugh at myself when I am this unmotivated and apathetic. I shall eat, but not as much as most meals lately. I shall find some amusements on the internet.
This Dirt, Drama, and Details blog is my primary outlet for distraction and hope these days after the letters to J. Internet TV and youtube help in their way, but they can backfire. I link the fun I find there in the DDD blog. Two Youtubers, Emma Blackery (emmablackery) and Natalie Tran (communitychannel) amuse me most these days. Cosmic shows on Hulu as well. And some regular series, like the CBS lineup I use as family. Though much of the closest imaginary TV family has gone away (ironically, the same time Jackson has and they were her regular shows too... sigh).
So very sincerely and seriously, I thank J for being J. She's been a blog friend since early in this century and is always there no matter how long goes by between letters. If I learned nothing else in the past decade, I learned that I should not supplant her with anyone as I did when I was living with Jackson. She offers an emotional maturity that makes her caring consistent and real. If I end up on the street, I am confident that I will find my way to a library to continue emailing. If I find a job and move and find a new roommate or friend or even fall in love, I would be a fool not to continue our correspondence. Even when I don't have time for this many words or for blogging and creative writing (and subtle hints and links to check out my other blogs lol lam) and letters if life gets really busy again, I want to keep in touch with J.
Remind me that I want to in case I ever forget. :)
There are so many people I could remember (Z0tl comes to mind... I wish he'd keep in touch) for better or worse (who mentioned Toronto?), but I shall smile and let myself wander off to wherever now. It is finally time to upload this entry.
Keep in touch.
Narf :)
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