Just as I re-analyzed myself and life and the people in it and the things I do and what I need and what I want and what I have and came to the realization that I am quite lucky and blessed to have the people in my life who are in my life these days and I can let go of the people who do not want to be in my life in spite of the hurt and feeling of betrayal and abandonment that comes from that, but ultimately reaffirmed that I should carry on living and hoping and above all else, babbling, I also continued wishing you and me and everyone a Happy New Year and carry on partying. It is good to know who your friends are.
The morning started with a slow sigh as another week of job hunting began, though there was no mail. I somehow found myself on youtube and babbled on and on linking dozens of links for hours of distractions and amusements through the rest of the morning until Helen texted asked if I wanted to go to lunch and I remembered the work week does not actually start until tomorrow so... though I was still feeling stuffed from yesterday, I pondered lunch for a moment and then showered and headed out the door to pick up Helen.
We went to lunch at the Wild Rice Buffet, which is just down the street from her and has lunch for under $8 and Helen treated (thank you Helen) and I pigged out. They improved the buffet so the suchi is fresher and colder and they have a shrimp dish that is not breaded and they had lots of other good stuff that looked better than usual (though their hot and sour soup is cool and bland, not hot and sour, but all else was great), so I was very happy.
Then we ran a couple of errands, picking up packages at her mom's place and finally finding the hot dog place I told her about - not to eat, just to let her know where it was - and that it did exist because she didn't know it was there. I dropped her off and headed back here.
On the way home the radio let me know there was a football game on. I realized that I forgot about football this year (and it was about then that the previous entry started rolling out of my head and pieces of a letter to J were expanded into that entry, I mean, in case you are paying attention and were thinking that you already read about me realizing I had forgotten about football this year, or last year, to be more precise), but due to the luck of the calendar this year, the four big bowl games are today and I figured out how to listen to them on my phone. Guess I don't need a radio now that I know how to find radio stations on my iPhone. I also realized that Jackson was my only close football fan friend so I have no one to watch with or even to just text about the game. So I listened to games all alone while munching on spicy corn chips and chocolate chip cookies while bouncing around (Mountain Dew at the buffet is buzzing around in my head) and just having too much fun babbling most of the day.
Truth is, I have too much fun for one person, which is why I am sad no one is here to share.
Hmmmm...
The reason I am sometimes sad is because I have too much fun for one person.
Kind of a curious way of explaining the depressive affect any good clinical practitioner would probably pretty easily identify in spite of the asides and distractions and giggling nonsense that would fill the room if someone actually showed me they wanted to pay any sort of attention to me, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
It's also the truth.
All this fun going on in my head and in this body and nobody around to share it, sigh, you don't know what you are missing world. Yes, you to (don't look around, I am looking right at you... tell me you didn't just look at your camera... maybe you have a baid-aid on your camera like me... laughing, are we?... hope so).
Narf :)
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