In case you wondered, this blog is for the wicked, the cool, the babblers, the lonely. This blog is for the hungry, the dreamers, the daring, the wide-eyed, the tired. This blog is for the ones who see the laughter at the cemetery and the ones who see the darkness in the light. This blog is for the whiners, complainers, disgruntled, and emo children inside us all (deny you've got one and I'll laugh at your lack of self-awareness, unless you seem upset and then I'll just smile and ask if I can help). This blog is for the wanderers, the wonderers, the serious fools and irreverent madmen who have been there and done that and still enjoy the ride, even when the wheels are stuck in the mud. Or shit. Or when you step out to give the car a push and step in it... or fall.
This is where you can let it all out. My personal goal is to find the amusement, the peace, the satisfaction, the security, and the happiness that comes from letting it all out. Appearances do not matter. Often you may read the words and find some great concern for my well-being or mental health. Panic, even. Don't let the frama fool you, it is nurtured and allowed to flourish here. It is a safe space for crying.
This blog is for the grumblings and the crying, but most of all, this blog is for those who see rainbows through their tears. That is why I cry or whine or vent or pound the negativity drum. Letting it all out allows the clouds of delusion and worry and stress and anxiety and all the fears to be exposed and seen for what they are, thinking errors, mental self-flagellation, self-defeating choices, foolishness, and laying them out fully exposed allows me to leave them behind and return to balance in my mind.
Just in case you wondered, this blog is for all that.
Also, fun. Yes, I still have too much fun for one person, which is simultaneously gleeful and depressing, the former because, well, fun is gleeful (at least my fun is) and the latter, well, because this world is depressing - where are the people who truly care, are sensitive to the madness of insensitivity, cruelty, and fears of humanity and yet still able to be the innocent children who find the fun inside and in life? Yes, well, you work on that one and feel free to apply yourself while I continue on my merry way. You are welcome on my merry way. All you need to do is keep up, handle it, and understand it's up to you, then do it.
Also, a bit of babbling meandering distraction to keep boredom at bay (I have no bay for boredom in my mind) with the expanded details (and dirt) about the experiences, thoughts, and feelings of daily life. So today I slept most of the day after getting home well after sunrise and when I woke, I sat and pondered my navel with some science show on in the background.
Shortly after the pondering began, Precious texted and asked for a ride home from the airport. Apparently her ride was not available. So I bundled up (it was 35 degress this morning) and drove to the airport. Precious and her boyfriend were coming home from long weekend in Washington, D.C. They had fun.
On the way home, I finally did the shopping I have avoided. Necessities, mostly. The body requires some drug store stuff these days. I found canned pasta, a standard staple I usually keep around for cheap easy meals, on sale for 80 cents a can. I bought three dozen cans. It'll last a couple of months, usually longer when I have income. The body requires food too and two cans make a less than 500 calorie meal for $1.60 so it is within the budget. I also bought some house cleaning supplies since I am the self-appointed house cleaner and still have more deep cleaning to do, especially in the kitchen.
Arriving home, I find The Maharaja is home way earlier than usual. Hope he is ok. He is quiet in his room listening to something and I don't want to wake him if he came home early to get some sleep. I sat down here contemplating food since I have not eaten since breakfast, but I am wondering if I can fall asleep and start this week off on a day time circadian rhythm.
So I wrote this entry to reflect, record, and reach out (my three Rs) and hope you enjoy and respond (there's always hope) and now, shall sit back and watch some internet TV and see if sleep comes along.
Hope life is amusing you and you see the rainbows through your tears.
They are out there in your mind.
Narf :)
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