The new guy, who hasn’t giving given me a blog name yet, says he enjoys sports, politics, and something else. I forget what the other thing is. I probably tripped on the word politics LOL as I do my best to not think about politics. Politics, like religion, is a waste of time and mostly dangerous. Not that human beings can survive without any structured organization, especially not at the current immature state of consciousness that we find humanity in today, but most of government, politics, and religion is useless and destructive. Foolish games played by frightened insecure men who just want to control everything.
If I expressed every thought and idea in my head as they are, would you stand up and walk out on me? LOL If you were kind and not afraid. You would probably put me to death if you were just a normal human being in these times of close minded fear.
You applaud and cheer and Laura hi the word freedom. Who is Laura? LOL glorify the word freedom. Yet you have no idea what the word means or how to do it. In fact more often than not you would condemn freedom and you might not even realize or at least you would fear yourself well enough to deny it.
You do it every day.
Meanwhile, the body is still under 180 pounds, in spite of three more normal meals in the past four days. I still want to drop more weight, but I suppose it is stable weight as the body stabilizes. I keep telling myself I must get to the gym and start working out more, especially because I have lost more muscle tissue than ever before which is why I am dropping under 180. I can feel it when I play ball, and I’d like to be able to hit the ball harder than I do when I want to. I’m still hitting well and still hitting hard, but that surprise burn when the outfield comes in, feels good and can win games.
There have been good reasons, excuses of course, but reasonable occurrences that have not lead me to the gym recently. The leg, of course is the latest obstacle. But there is no good sense in any reason, excuse, whatever. Get to the gym bye boy!
Maybe the new guy will be interested in being a gym buddy. He says he’s into sports. Most people are into watching. I love to watch, but I love to play more. Most people have forgotten or never experience the exhilaration of pushing their body to it’s limits. I miss that so much. Even the most serious softball tournaments don’t get me there anymore. Obviously I need to find another way to exercise.
Jackson used to play ball with me. We stop doing that last year’s we live together, we’re both too busy, I’m too lazy, and too stupid (love you Jackson). We gained weight together and drifted apart. That’s kind of what happens when you stop caring about your body. So now that I am dropping the weight, remembering self-discipline when it comes to calorie intake, and feeling the desire for more exercise again, I have to face the reality of doing it all by myself.
Don’t want to be... you know the song?
I don’t know why I haven’t been more involved with more musical people in this life. The musical people I meet or have met just don’t seem to connect. Too much ego.
I suppose it’s the insecurity. Or maybe it’s me. I just know that there was a time when singing was breathing and when I heard music it just made sense. I could listen to a song and sing it almost exactly like the singer sang. I would imitate without even realizing. Favorites were Streisand, Elvis, the Beatles, the Bee Gees, and so many others. So much for that moment.
There’s a guy who’s been around for decades that I just found on YouTube last week who does whAt I used to do. Some claim he’s faking, lip-synching, so I really need to read up more about him because I know it’s possible. I used to do it myself.
I remember singing the entire show, every part, from Jesus Christ superstar to My Fair Lady to Man of La Mancha to Tommy to West Side Story. So many others. It must be out there, call that a guy, artificial intelligence, a guy where does the G come from a guy. Stupid talk to text a I a I a I a I a
Watching the screen is very distracting maybe I should just stop. I might not know what the heck I’m talking about when I read it back though, but maybe that’s the point. I just don’t want to feel like I wrote something really meaningful, and find out it’s gone and I wasted my time.
I miss music.
I wonder if the new guy will mind if I sing in the new place. I haven’t song in so long. I have truly stifled myself living here in the past year and a half almost there. Living like a refugee, cramped into a small space, minimal comforts. I miss my recliner.
Yes I am writing to myself but it seems I am writing just as much to the talks to text errors, hopefully I’ll find a way to stop doing that or at least make it more interesting. LOL
I did edit a lot, so whatever.
I’m getting a little hungry.
The question is back to sleep for a few hours or get up and do something else. What else? Well I could copy and paste all these words that I’ve been putting into talk to text emails myself into blog posts. There are probably dozens of them by now. And who knows someone out there might even miss me since I have posted much recently. You know my number, you know my email address, you know how to reach me... if you miss me.
So many things running through my head at the moment. Several Broadway show scores, The never ending story and dream of finding the one, the gym and the motivation to get there. I suppose I could go to the gym right now since the job comes with a free 24 hour gym, but there is no shower there I don’t particularly want to go to work sweaty and I don’t particularly want to drive back here to shower and then back to work. That’s what’s missing, where to shower. But I can’t complain since how many jobs come with a free gym? I suppose there are plenty, but there are plenty you don’t.
The leg says no.
I hear Eb going to the bathroom. I wonder if he can hear me talking to myself. I wonder if he thinks I’m on the phone. Wonder if he cares.
Eb is a really nice guy with a kind heart. He just has very awkward social skills, is not clean, and keeps to himself most of the time. The limited space here keeps me hoping the possible new roommate will work out.
Not a very inspiring entry though, aye?
Narf :)
No comments:
Post a Comment