Tuesday, March 28, 2017

All Good Things

All good things... maybe. Well, I should have expected it and it really is no surprise though I forgot it might happen. Michael hired "my replacement" and I am not sure he wants any part time services from me at all. I'll be returning the laptop tomorrow night and I left the door open for him to ask me to check in or be a resource. We shall see what he says.

So the extra income is likely done, but at least the primary income began as I deposited my first check from the county today and future checks will be auto-deposits and the savings will hopefully start growing again. Actually, this will give me more time for me, so it is a blessing in disguise even though extra income would be nice at least until I have a secure roommate situation.

It was good while it lasted and I am very appreciative :)

Michael is entrusting Dwight with the training and managing of the new data manager (hope the person has a high tolerance for pain, distraction, interruption, and general chaos lol). I don't know who will be managing (and hand holding) the marketing or supervising (and fixing the daily mistakes of) the marketing staff as Dwight had no part in (and has no clue about) that. Hopefully the new person has those skills and will do a good job. I'd like to see Michael (and other friends I know who work for him) succeed.

Relationships are not always mutual or reciprocal or...

And the latest processing or digestion on the letting go front is here now adding letting go of the imaginary bond of family I was offering Michael and others in that dysfunctional place. I think I may have written the ultimate masterpiece of the genre from my own personal and professional perspectives so it may be uniquely qualified to represent the genius rarely understood or even imagined in by humans of these times. Yes, Superman, who can change the course of mighty... sit, I may have a laugh to give.

Sleep is calling... life is smiling... most important of all, peace is reigning inside. :)

May you be at peace today. May you let the wonder of your world in to be all it is and reflect it back to all. Maybe you rest and relax more than usual.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Unsettled, Unfinished, and Wonderful

Yeah, well, so I will start this off by reprising today's brief daily entry that I just linked to the left there for no reason since this is it right here right now below these words just as soon as I stop writing this opening paragraph which includes information like the reprise below is being expanded with additional words, links, parenthetic asides, and the usual babbling ways of the babbling fool for your pleasure or mind, but preferably both and no, we won't smoke a cigar, cigarette, or tiparillo afterward but the words reprised with expantion and explanatory notes and such assorted sundries follow this like right now:

So I never did get back here (or to that other wind whch likely had something to do with ths thing, or the comments, for that matter) in spite of the inspirational comments (did I mention there were comments?... oh, yeah, that's why I linked the entries here, there are comments to be read, I mean, if you want to know what we're talking about, in case it matters and all that cha cha cha) from the world famous Dangerspouse (he's a real Renaissance Man, he is, I mean, was a finalist for the Diarist Award for the Second Quater of 2004 for jebus sake and he downright won the Best Comedic Entry that season, so we ain't just sneezing dixie when this guy comes along and leaves a comment... he deserves better), but here's a brief entry to maybe start the process of daily blogging up again.

Woke up, fell out of bed... showered and headed to softball. Did my ratings committee thing before and after my game. We won, but almost gave it away. We have a shaky team this season, as usual. Every season Coach just seems to want to start over. Anyway, I take it week by week and do my thing and we pulled out another win today. We only actually gave away one game, so we are 4-1.

Returned to this room, my temporary home, and microwaved some food. Eggplant and some meatballs and cheese. Eb (the new roommate... check About The People for some updates and clues to the changes that I have yet to catch up on) and I decided to push some conversation and even moved my chair into the hallway to relx and not just stand there awkwardly tired with nowhere to sit cuz there's his stuff everywhere. He told me about his day and then actually started clearing the table a bit. Maybe my presence helped. Or maybe I distracted him and he would have finished. In any case, he must have checked the clock because right on time he turned on the TV and we watched an episode of Star Trek:NG (he watches three to four hours of Star Trek on Heroes and Icons TV every evening) and then I retired to my room to check in on my consulting job, email, and found my way here.

I have been writing a lot, much of it in letters to J (thank you J).

More to follow?

Narf :)

So there was that and more, like I refrained from telling him what was going to happen in the episode because I've seen just about every episode of every Star Trek series at least a few times if not a dozen and after a few minutes of writing the breifer version of the represented reprise of the brief entry above, I started clearing the bed (which becomes my desk when I am awake) and getting ready for bed when there was a knck on the door and I think he ignored it because I went out into the living room and he was just sitting there watching a video on his phone and so I returned to my room thinking tht maybe I was hearing things because there are assorted noised outside in this neighborhood and then the doorbel rang and I went out into the living room again and he was just sitting there and I asked him if that was the doorbell at which point he got up and answered the door and apparently one of the neighbors wanted a cigarette and asked if the man who owns the car in the driveway (which would be me) had one cuz I heard him say no he doesn't either and he returned and explained that there is a "slow" (I assume he means intellectually disabled) girl living across the street with her mother who has no legs (her mother has no legs, the girl walked up to the door on two legs... without her mother) and they come over asking for food every time he lights up the grill to cook for himself and he thinks she was looking for a ride to the store (and I wondered if there was a store open this late in this area, but I didn't ask) and then he said goodnight and went to his room.

There is so much to tell you, dear readers and potential commenters and questioners and ponderers out there, but I really ought to get some sleep since I have softball tomorrow right after work and if I fell asleep right now I would get five hours sleep and this body (and eyes and ears and mind and so on and I know they are all part of or at least inside the body but those are the parts that suffer most from lack of sleep) has reached a point where it does not do as well as it used to on less than eight or more hours sleep... so why am I back here writing after turning off the lights and laying down in bed?

Well, there is concern for the car as this neighborhood is a high crime area (the drug house directly across the street has cars pulling up and walk-up traffic regularly) and I am not sure how "slow" the girl is so if her mother is the smoker and sent her out wandering he streets knocking on neighbors doors and ringing doorbells after 11pm in this neighborhood she might be desperate or lack a sense of right and wrong enough to want to try to explore the inside of the car and even though it is locked... those thoughts and getting out of bed to look out the window several times over fifteen or more minutes suddenly gave way to remembering I did not take my blood presure medication so I got up and realized I did not know where the bottle of pills was last put (and my weekly pillbox was empty) so turned on the light and spent ten minutes searching through boxes and stuff until I finally found the bottle right next to the bed on the make-shift night stand and I took a pill and filled the weekly pill box slots and put the bottle in a different place because surely I'll notice it with all the vitains I take daily.

After all that, I was awake enough to return here.

Unsettled, that is the state of life at the moment. It is wonderful, life, in oh so many ways. I am working a new job that I love so I have actual income again and I am working the part time job Michael (friend... as I mentioned previously, the About The People page was updated slightly {so much more to come, eventually} for some clues to the changes that I have yet to catch up on in these babbling blogs {though I have been keeping up with writing about them in letters to J [thank you again J] and I have been doing some other writing as well [besides the new work writing] so the blog entries are kinda sorta just waiting to be edited and uploaded} if you are impatient and/or curious and/or really want to know {maybe you even care?} or you could just ask like a really famous Diarylander did recently {you may have heard about that somewhere} in case it matters and all that jazz).

As I think I was saying, life is wonderful. Income. Private sleeping space really close to work. Good people to interact with on a daily basis in and out of work. Sadly, Jackson is not one of them as we drift further and further apart in the physical world even though she texts me regularly (sometimes, maybe always secretly) to say good night or play Words with Friends and especially for serious matters (I can only guess she is uncomfortable approaching me when she is with Tina which is very concerning and maybe Tina is controlling that and does not want her communicating with me or maybe she's just avoiding something, but it's weird and awkward and a lot of others notice and there really is no reasonable explanation so I just smile and say something like "no, were good" even though people notice we are at the same places and do not say hello like at the fields today... but I really must process that and then just let it be).

Yes, life is wonderful. The one big task yet to do is to find a living space in a better neighborhood that is bigger than this temporary room so I can move all my stuff from the storage place I have down here into a place I can call home for at least a year and find a roommate who will share that space compatibly.

And now, even with so much mre to write about, I can nod off comfortable.

One of the many blessings of babble.

Tackle typos tomorrow, maybe.

Narf :)

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

serious wind

yeah, seriusly?

wait, whet? ... guess the answer is no.

serious wind.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Not Really Here

I moved.

I started a new job.

I stopped writing.

I am in a shitty place.

I am focused on succeeding in the job.

I am focused on myself.

Notice much?

I don't have to write about because as much as this blog is egocentric nonsense, when I get seriously serious in a bad place messed up by my own hands and most of all abandoned and betrayed once again by the person I trusted most in the world, I shut down and shut up.

Maybe you will see or have seen if you were paying attention.

If it matters.

I don't find Kevin Hart funny. He's screaming for no reason and does have anything to say other than self-promotion and even his humor is egocentric. Maybe I only see him on off nights and do not have enough experience observing hi entire repertoire (hoity toity, aye?). Give me Robin Williams random multi-layered humor any day.

I like the Foo Fighters, but I am not a big fan of the lead singer's voice.

Random thoughts really not here.

Ain't no sunshine.

Smiles neither.