Monday, February 27, 2017

Harry, Sally, Whatever.

The laundry was done, three loads, and the shirts are a little better this time but they are still slightly wrinkled. They were too wrinkled to wear last time. It may be partly because the washer dryer is outside and I've got to carry the clothes in in a basket before I pull out the shirts and fold them and it could be partly because the washer and dryer is old and not very good. The washer can take a very long time too and also, I forget to check the washer and dryer and so, the clothes are cleaner but the living in the cramped space makes for less than neatly wrinkle-free clothes. A man needs a maid, or something like that. Actually, what I need is space to set up an ironing board. A well lit room with more than two square feet of floor space to change in would help too lol. Ah, the compromise of low rent (three months rent free except for about $100 in stuff for the house and then $500 for plumbing repairs last month).

No complaints, just adjustments.

I will definitely need to to get some clean pressed matching professional outfits together starting next Monday for the new job. Buying new clothes is such a waste when I have dozens of dress outfits and dozens of boxes of clothes in storage, but unpacking and searching has proved challenging and there is no place to try things on with a big mirror and nobody to tell me how things look so I'll just be a big baby and whine about it and buy a new outfit and wear what I've got, maybe.

Yes, so I watched When Harry Met Sally and it left me feeling sad and lonely because it nudged awake the hopelessly hopeful romantic heart in me that is mostly sleeping of late and for a long long time (can Linda Ronstadt be far behind?) so I texted Jackson and told her to laugh at me so I would know I was loved. Melanie is singing too, just tell us you love us so we don't feel alone. Are those whipporwills?

Obviously the emo child is out for this entry.

Sensitivity is so misunderstood and undervalued in this culture. So let me rant a bit and bore all of you with intellectual philosophy so you can wonder if I think I am superior which will prove my point and make me sad, but somewhere along the way I might feel better letting it all out.

We are all small and a bundle of emotions - delusion and repression is how most people "deal with" the human experience. That may be the saddest truth of all. We are each unique beings capable of experiencing so much more than we do and we struggle to conform and repress ourselves. If you dare open yourself to caring it may hurt, but you, yes you are unique and precious among humans because you do not render yourself a virtually futile friend.

You dare to feel and share the real.

The real is simple. The birds, the trees, the moment, the space, the joy, the pain, the feelings we feel - that is the real.

It is so simple that when we look around beyond our lives, we feel how small we are. A single multi-cell organism among billions on a single living planet among who knows how many. The space out there beyond our planet is so huge and filled with so much power our little speck of rock and water would be gone in an instant on the whim of a random rock or energy wave floating through space.

I've been watching some shows on Hulu, Secrets of the Universe, NASA 360 and NASA Television Documentaries, Startalk, among others. The vastness of what is "out there" puts everything into perspective for me.

Feeling all that can be overwhelming. And beautiful. :)

We can feel it is sad, painfully sad that humans skew everything through egocentric delusions to the point where they have no connection to the reality, especially not the fact that everything is mostly unknown. Compound that by thinking you matter so much everything revolves around you ad you fit in with the humanity of today.

Asking what does this mean to me? is one thing (and a very good thing to do), but assuming our few years of living actually matter in the grand scheme of the universe(s) more than it does, well, that's just silly and the actions most people take because of that silly delusion are very depressing.

Don't we feel better now?

Narf :}

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