I have not written in my blogs since 8/22 and that post was a title and a link, nothing more and the post before that was in an old video blog and that was just a link too and the post before that was 8/19. 8/19, the last time I rambled. And that was a catch-up of the previous week. Seem wrong, so very wrong. Suddenly, the writing slows to a crawl. Fatigue, mostly, i blame fatigue first and then, butthurts. Tthat's a odd word, butthurt. It's become quite popular on social media and I wonder how much of the negativity behind it {pun unintended) is some underlying gay-bashing even for those who do not see anything sexual in the word at all. Spankings hurt butts too, after all. Anyway, that's a distraction.
There are gonna be many ahead, just so you know.
I have all this jumble of stuff in my head from world and the world and Facebook and the news and discussions with people who still believe politics and religions and all that crap still has value. Worth our time? Whatever. here's a few minutes for it. I hope that is all.
First, in the matter of the butthurt, I got the new medicine I wanted and finally picked up the prescription yesterday and started using it, but I am not consistent or doing it right just yet mostly because of fatigue but maybe even more because of the stanky moldy place I live. Temporary, yes, but succumbing to the mold everywhere is not a good move. maybe it's worms... Anyway, searched and there are no Proctologist in the entire metro Orlando area (50 mile radius) so I made an appointment with a colon and rectal surgeon because that's all there is. I get to see him next Wednesday... that's good, I hope.
I don't play cards with the bridge group anymore. Curly has become very rude, negative, and disrespectful - especially to me - over the past year. I understand he's the same to the others one stopped coming but the others just take it. It's easier to ignore if I don't play with them, so I don't. Being an hour drive away helps a lot and it's the best thing about living this far from most old friends now. I gave them another chance Saturday night and they blew it. As long as Curly dominates them, I won't be visiting them anymore. I play words with friends with one of them, so that'll be how I keep in touch with the others. Maybe I'll meet up with the other two if schedules coincide. I feel better away from his disrespect.
Sadly drifting away and no longer being any sort of real friend, Jackson reached out because a football player at her university died during football practice and she (and her fellow therapists) has to work long hours counselling the students this week. I reminded how strong she can be professionally and how lucky the students are to have her skills and heart there this week and that her I am here if she wants to talk or vent or release the sadness or tension after being strong and wise and professional for the kids. She appreciated that and might be partly why she reached out. I am me, she is she, its not about fairness or balance. It's lonely being everyone's rock lol. Laughter is the best medicine and friend sometimes (and don't you know that too well yourself).
We also texted about fantasy football and we are trading players if the league allows it. When two team managers want to trade players, the league can vote against the trade. That keeps two friends from making trades that are two one sided and also keeps a person in public leagues from creating two teams so he or she can move all the best players from one team to another. Hopefully the other managers will allow the trade because it benefits both of us and is a fair trade, the projected (for this season) #7 QB for the #6 WR (I offered her the #4 QB but she, as usual, would not take more... she self-sacrifices more than I do). She also has the #2 WR, so it is a good move for her because her QB is out injured for now. She probably would not have traded if her QB was injured and overall, this trade should benefit me more than her but it keeps her from guaranteed loses until her QB is back. I was weak at WR to start with having gone for other positions first this season (gambling on that strategy because WRs are important). Then my top WR got injured and is out for the season, bad luck, so I am hurting big time at the WR position.
Anyway, we stay connected in our ways. Aquaintances. Hopefully Brandi doesn't mind too much.
2017 has been a roll-back year for this culture/country. There are still a lot of very insecure men (and women, but it's still a very male dominated culture) who want to go back to the 1950s and before then when it was a white bread country with women in the kitchen and non-whites as slaves. The south will rise again theme has never gone silent and the sick mentality of macho white men as kings of their castles is still reality for millions of white men. They don't see how weak it makes them (and this country) to show their fear in those sad and angry ways.
More concerning is the other side, the radical liberals (or are they paid plants?) coming out with violence against the hate, showing the insecurity is high on both sides of the stupid argument of who is better. Maybe the country needs another 1960s with the stupidity meeting head to head in the streets to wake more people up to how wrong it is to hate and fear and try to dominate others who are different in superficial ways. Like it or not, red blood in the streets is a great equalizer visually and emotionally.
I have to see news more in my job. Recently we had a pandemic exercise. As Safety Officer, I participate in emergency management exercises with FEMA and other government agencies. Today the state health department held an exercise for the scenario of a mass dispersal of airborne anthrax. About fifty people representing county-wide (including seven cities within the county) law enforcement, fire department, health department, hospitals, gathered in a room and walked through a scenario and discussed what actions we would all take. Sadly, we as a country are very unprepared for a biological attack and it would be the easiest way to kill the most people with one act.
Apologies for the bad news. It just costs too much money to pay professionals needed in such situations to be available, no less to actually work for the county and cities, at a moment's notice. The phrase "just in time training" (aka JITT) is our primary tool for emergency preparedness these days. Our county health department had 50 nurses working in it a few years ago and today there are 10, including the two administrators of the whole department, now. They don't have enough staff to open the distribution sites needed to get the antidotes or medications to people fast enough to save all the people and politicians just keep getting richer as the boat sinks.
This is why I avoid the news.
Sheesh this is a poor job of cheering you up as you spend days home and I've got four hours before I need to be awake for another long (but mostly fun) day at work. Not fair, we deserve more play time lol :)
unless we redefine the word humane
I suppose it all depends on perspective
and how we define insane
delusions are the primary comforts
poisons are the great escapes
fear dominates the human mind
heroes wear masks and capes
the shirking of responsibility
and pointing fingers of blame
seems to be the way of modern man's
insecure little game
go ahead and get angry
it is easier than feeling the pain
go ahead and cry and run away
you don't need to use your brain
go ahead and pray for a miracle
go ahead and sing your praise
truth doesn't seem to matter
while church music plays
but the fact is obvious if you open your eyes
there is little humanity in humanity these days
the truth seems to come as a big surprise
there is little humanity in humanity these days
go ahead and get angry
it is easier than feeling the pain
go ahead and cry and run away
you don't need to use your brain
go ahead and drink more poison
go ahead with your great escapades
truth doesn't seem to matter
while pop music plays
but the fact is obvious if you open your eyes
there is little humanity in humanity these days
the truth seems to come as a big surprise
there is little humanity in humanity these days
Hey, as long as I can write it out like that, I feel I've done something to try to communicate the truth to the world and I can sleep at night... the stress, the frustration, the sadness flows out into words... I am not sure if that will be a slap at religions "While Church Music Plays" or a slap at all modern culture. Maybe it will be two separate songs someday.
while church music plays
Humanity partied hearty as it died
while church music played
Yeah, Bob Dylan, where are you today. We need another creative rise of folk singers who can put the truth in words and song and dare us to hear it. The answer is still blowing in the wind, we've just got too much shit in our ears to hear it. La la la :)
Meanwhile, in the distract us from the solitary confinement mode, what have you been doing? Watch any movies lately? I have. I watched some odd ones. Ricky was a subtitled french film that was surprisingly surprising and typically existential in a mundane daily life kind of way. Super was surprisingly interesting in a gutteral way, though it could have simply been my love and lust for Ellen Page and Liv Tyler (strange combination perhaps, but Ellen is so much what I want in a playmate and except for being a crazy violent character, really energizes me with her energy in her role in this one. Libido prefers Liv's face, but Ellen is adorable and much preferred in every other way.
I watched Mars Attacks! before those two and I forgot how many big name stars were in that film.. silly funny stupid mockery of humans and war with homage to War of the Worlds and a few other classics along the way. Before that I watched Starman and the stupidity of humanity overwhelms that story and as usual, felt the alienation and wished for a Karen Allen of my own. Little Man Tate was before that and my love of Jodie Foster rises even more along with the story of misunderstood genius, not that I am one, but misunderstood awareness and sensitivity is the story of this life as I've known it from my first experiences.
It was a good break from South Park which has taken over as background noise now that I've watched every Family Guy episode. a show called Better Things grabbed my attention during the last break from the cartoons and I watch to see more of it. Something about the lead attracts me in a different way - her parenting style is one factor - her acceptance of life, kind of a happy Eeyore lol :)
Those are the movies I've watched since Funny Girl which I think I mentioned. That one took me back to my early years in life...
So maybe I really will lay down and sleep now... or shower... or eat... the last idea is unwise... lay down and sleep... though shower (especially a butt wash) would be wise... sleep... sleep... I think sleep is winning)...
Narf :)
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