All the silent babbling continues and some entries are in draft and much more in my head, but the silence is comfortable for the moment, which is indicative of the wonderful comfort and contentment I am experiencing in life these days. Even with the gas. Laughter, yet serious. Enjoying acceptance is a beautiful thing. :)
As I may have mentioned in a previous blog post, the idea that I may not find true love as I know it in this life outside of myself is becoming an acceptable reality. The human race may simply not be ready or I simply have not come near enough to anyone who might be. Luck of the draw or random chance or careful planning by a self-destructive quantum brainwave, its what it is.
A dozen entries were added to blogs tonight, many in the brief daily (in case it matters), as if they were always there, sort of. Another Saturday night without nobody to love brought some unexpected babbling. As if we could travel through time... Anna Faris in Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel appealed to libido and the heart, though she doesn't today. Innocence is such a fleeting thing in this consumer culture. Why do women get boob jobs anyway? Cultural programming, if you ask me. Sad. Quite unattractive to me. She's still a cutie though and appears to have her head on pretty straight, mostly, from what little I can tell from what I've read.
Even if I could time travel, I am not sure I would for love anymore. It must come to me as it is, I am tired of chasing what isn't and even more tired of trying to teach those not ready for it. Tired of being used and left for dead as well, no doubt. Oh so serious. Real isn't always pretty. Fake is a most never pretty though and usually pretty repulsive to me. I've never met a person who didn't depend on lies, so I've never really trusted anyone with me. Close enough to be devastated a few times and I put my life in others hands a couple or few times, but never trusted completely because I've yet to meet anyone who is completely open and honest which placing harmlessness right next to honesty.
Sigh, moving along now...
Life around here is peaceful and wonderful, though a little distracting with the kids around and they spend a lot of time here when I am here (evenings and weekends). The little one (8 years old chronologically, appears about five or sic physically, behaves about four, and an extremely needy and demanding four at that. Whiny and spoiled and sometimes seems to enjoy being bossy to her dad and provoking her brother.
Blah blah blah.
This should continue...
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