GI Doh!

Ok, so apparently I avoided thinking about the visit with the GI Specialist and instead rambled on about music and video and whatever else might have amused and distracted me, but hey, that was a very positive experience for me so I am happy I can still doctor myself better than anyone else. The doctor visit, on the other hand, was not the positive experience I was hoping for, but then, I am not too disappointed as I was not expecting much from a free clinic GI specialist.

The title of this entry has little to do with the military or soldiers except for the impersonal rush through follow orders especially do not think, just respond and follow orders mentality that is the military way. What the title does refer to is the fact that the GI specialist who saw me might as well be named John Doe for I have no clue who he is. No card, no paper with his name on it, he didn't even introduce himself (or his companion who held a laptop and was typing into it as I spoke, I think... the few minute interview with cursory examination was so rushed and brief, it's a blur in memory). He rushed through a a couple of questions, hardly giving me time to think about the answers and ultimately, this was simply a cursory obligatory face-to-face that allowed him to order a colonoscopy, though he would not actually share that much honesty or at all.

I really must get a printer and print out a bullet point list of my history, chronic symptoms, my current symptoms, and what I am doing about it including medications and supplements so I don't leave things out as doctors and interviewers pop in and out of exam rooms where I wait and get sluggish and foggy for hours. He was not callous or unpleasant or dismissive (borderline), but rushed. Very rushed. Extremely rushed, like most medical specialists and many doctors. Bedside manner and human relations and psychology must be left out of the many years of schooling and on-the-job experience it takes to become a doctor, no less a specialist. It seems the more money a doctor makes per hour, the less time they want to spend with a patient. Humans.

This is a free clinic, however, so it is not so much greed that applies as it does in other circumstances, simply a busy doctor wanting to get on with his life while still feeling good about giving a few hours to a free clinic once a month.

I am cynical, probably unfair, but that does not change the fact that modern medical care and people in general have lost the human compassion that is supposed to be the fundamental product of medical care - care being the operative word and point. Our culture has become so impersonal and automated and rushed, people simply don't show they care anymore and since caring is a verb, an action and not just an intention, people do not care. I'll indulge my philosophical displeasure another time.

So after sitting in a cold exam room for almost an hour waiting after sitting in a waiting room for an hour waiting after sitting on a bench outside their offices waiting for an hour (though I didn't sit most of the time, so actually standing most of those three hours), I was tired and less "oriented" (not disoriented, just not sharp and quick with my list of important information and answers) when the man flash into the room followed by the man with the laptop like a circus clown and juggler throwing questions at me without introduction or sitting down or any real humanity. The examination was a 15 second stethoscope listen to my chest and a two tap palpitation of my stomach after a few basic question legally confirming what was already on my chart.

It could have been phoned in and the stress on the body and mind would have been a whole lot healthier. Three months since I first went in for this and a month wait to see this specialist and my head was spinning it was so rushed. So it was rather disappointing except - - -

He said he was ordering a colonoscopy.

I don't actually have the appointment and he did not tell me when I might get one, but he confirmed I should get one without hesitation. He said they only do general anesthesia, which I completely despise for I'd rather be awake and not drugged into unconsciousness. That means side effects and dangers of serious reactions and more, I'll need someone to drive me there and back and that will not be simple at all. I am not asking someone to take a day off from work because no one I know would do that comfortably and I ask way too much of people already. I don't need the additional stress of others adding to my wait and stress.

So they told me a case worker will call me. I probably should have said I will find a ride and I might have just gotten an appointment. Anyway, hopefully my not having a ride will not be as big an obstacle as the doctor made to out to be.

The last time GI Specialist who did a colonoscopy for me was much more accommodating and caring and reassuring. This guy gave me the impression that they never let a patient stay awake, no less actually watch the procedure on the monitor, because it is way too complicated with traumatic discomfort. I told him I've worked health care all my life and watched many procedures and I know this is a 15 minute procedure that I watched on a monitor with local anesthesia last time I had one, but he was dismissive and passed me to a subordinate who did not introduce himself who told me to wait outside while they do paperwork.

Another person I never met who didn't introduce herself then came out to the waiting room and handed me a single sheet of paper in front of strangers and started telling me I'd be contacted by a case worker and she saw on my face that I did not like the public communication and quickly said "someone will call you" walked away quickly. Five hours of mostly waiting and someone will call me to set up the procedure they knew I needed last month. Modern medical care. Definitely a very different "bedside manner" for the Monday evening volunteers than the Tuesday morning group.

Still, I will hope the case worker does call and gets me a colonoscopy... and then I will hope that goes well and I get some reasonably good news about why my anemia and bleeding is getting worse... waiting a month for Monday night's rush through was no fun which is likely why I didn't think about it for a couple of days... no new blood tests, no stool sample or urine test, strange medicine. Just the same "concern" and "urgency" that I get more tests, especially a colonoscopy, to determine where I am losing blood and what is causing my anemia to get worse and cautions and reminders about drinking water and taking iron supplements and avoiding stress and blah blah blah the general doctor had more than a month ago.

Ok, I vented frustration and now will stay positive. It's free medical care, after all, so I must remember to be as appreciative as I am (and I am appreciative and thanked each person (all eight of them) who did something for me for volunteering their time even if it was to their back as they rushed away) under the stress, concern, fear, and frustration of delays and poverty and helplessness. Stay positive. Stay appreciative.

Yup, I can do that.

You? :)