Unfortunately, yesterday and today I indulged in too much high-carb high-calorie comfort food. Yesterday I broke the ice on bowling water here and cooked a big pot of spaghetti with my own high calorie high fat high carb high sodium sauce (and I used way too much salt). Tonight I went shopping spending $50 on foods and none were healthy. Pizza and cheeses (mozzarella, six cheese Italian, cream cheese) and ketchup and chocolate milk and pasta sauces and ice cream and chocolate (I saved $13.51 on a $45.42 bill cuz almost everything I bought was on sale) and quite the different shopping trip from the last one which was for carrots, celery, salad, and a few other healthier items and that inspired me to remember the following sort of poetic advice I wrote to myself as a much younger child to the old person I might become someday:
I get hungry, I get scared, I get stupid. I get hungry, I get lonely, I get stupid. I get hungry, I get fat, I get stupid. But there is another side to hunger. I get hungry, I eat comfort foods, I get euphoric. Unfortunately, my comfort foods also make me fat and bring long term illness so I must eat a balanced diet and learn to find comfort in low calorie foods because, as this body ages, I will not be able to consume the calories I'd like to consume without expediting the dying process.
Yeah, so wisdom might have once been mine kemosabe (which reminds me of another tid bit of trivial information stored somewhere in the dark recesses of my cranium (professionally paraphrased by some internet dictionary or google or something like that)...
Ke-mo sah-bee (/ˌkiːmoʊˈsɑːbiː/; often spelled kemo sabe or kemosabe) is the term of endearment and inventive catchphrase used by the fictional American Indian sidekick Tonto, in the American television program The Lone Ranger. In The Lone Ranger radio program, Tonto called Lone Ranger "kemosabe".
In Navajo, on the other hand, “kemosabe” translates as “soggy shrub.” If this seems an odd thing for faithful friend Tonto to call the Lone Ranger, perhaps he was just repaying the Ranger's long-standing insult. “Tonto,” after all, is a Spanish word meaning “stupid.”
So I get this email from Jess (who I may or may not know and/or falling in love with by any number of other names or received random music on CDs from during my decades of blogging) who points out that in this entry one of the dozens of links is broken. I head back there to fix it and then remember when the internet was fun as I fly around exploring Fly Guy's world. All the little things that most people call a waste of time are what amuse me in this life. I am looking for people (and the one, especially) who understands and lives by that philosophy.
Irony or coincidence, after looking at Jackson's old laptop that she gave me and realizing the main reason I wanted to keep it working and why I will likely fix it is it reminds me of her and I miss her cuz she knows me well and I miss having a friend close by in daily life who knows me well and then she sent me a photo of a shirt she is going to give me that got me thinking about relationships which got me thinking about my philosophy and my deepest dream and desire and in response I typed this:
It would be nice to find someone and have a relationship again 🤔 but I don't take it seriously and haven't for many years because I don't trust anyone enough to let them that close to me 😳 which is very sad because I always thought my purpose in life was to be in love with someone in love with me and take care of a family 👀 and I don't want to give up that dream and let it die 🤐 so I don't talk about it because I don't want to give up and die but it's kind of 😩 hopeless so I distract myself with anything food TV helping others and I adopt family by giving money and living space to people but everybody always leaves 😐 so I come to this alone again naturally point and dream my dream of falling in love and finding someone who falls in love with me again but I seem to be stuck not trusting enough this time and I am not sure what to do so I am writing this to try to understand what to do and that is a sign of hope 😳 so I am smiling seeing rainbows through my tears 😍 trying to believe I am worth loving again 🤗 💙 but it's been so long ...
And so how are you? 😜😂🍪🤗😇
Which in text looked more like this:
It would be nice to find someone and have a relationship again 🤔 but I don't take it seriously and haven't for many years because I don't trust anyone enough to let them that close to me 😳 which is very sad because I always thought my purpose in life was to be in love with someone in love with me and take care of a family 👀 and I don't want to give up that dream and let it die 🤐 so I don't talk about it because I don't want to give up and die but it's kind of 😩 hopeless so I distract myself with anything food TV helping others and I adopt family by giving money and living space to people but everybody always leaves 😐 so I come to this alone again naturally point and dream my dream of falling in love and finding someone who falls in love with me again but I seem to be stuck not trusting enough this time and I am not sure what to do so I am writing this to try to understand what to do and that is a sign of hope 😳 so I am smiling seeing rainbows through my tears 😍 trying to believe I am worth loving again 🤗 💙 but it's been so long ...
And so how are you? 😜😂🍪🤗😇
Or even this:
It would be nice to find someone and have a relationship again 🤔 but I don't take it seriously and haven't for many years because I don't trust anyone enough to let them that close to me 😳 which is very sad because I always thought my purpose in life was to be in love with someone in love with me and take care of a family 👀 and I don't want to give up that dream and let it die 🤐 so I don't talk about it because I don't want to give up and die but it's kind of 😩 hopeless so I distract myself with anything food TV helping others and I adopt family by giving money and living space to people but everybody always leaves 😐 so I come to this alone again naturally point and dream my dream of falling in love and finding someone who falls in love with me again but I seem to be stuck not trusting enough this time and I am not sure what to do so I am writing this to try to understand what to do and that is a sign of hope 😳 so I am smiling seeing rainbows through my tears 😍 trying to believe I am worth loving again 🤗 💙 but it's been so long ...
And so how are you? 😜😂🍪🤗😇
But then, it is the content, not the format, that matters (and how distracted from the content can playing with the format get us, which is a key point within the content if you are paying attention and Which is obviously probably a way of my playing with HTML to distract myself which only goes to show (or prove a point, right Rosanne Rosannadana?), it's always something, but then, that's what we're talking about when we are taking about who really gets me, if you know what I mean... wide awake and just look at the time.
Maybe indulging in comfort foods on Wednesdays is the right thing to do (what do you think Carly Simon?) :)
Oh dear, Karen Carpenter would not have appreciated that joke.
And so it goes...
Narf :)
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