In case you were wondering who I am writing that first paragraph to, of course it is to the multiverses and posterity, but for the moment it was a slap to my own head to try to get the multiplicitous facets of me (all those wondrous voices, ya know?) on the same page with this one point of action - keep writing and uploading and doing this thing we do to attempt sharing caring or else (else being the end of everything, ego aside, as I know it)... I mean, does anybody pay attention ? ? ? (such inappropriate Douglas Adams style laughter rushes through this moment... in case you wondered... in case it matters... in case you understand... anyone?... ahhh... of course the world is round... and still it turns me on).
It's all just fragments of momentary brilliance fading in the blink of an eye.
Oh yeah, sure, here I am feeling alone and unloved once again. I mean, just because I am alone and unloved. Not completely, I mean, I have a few people who care about me - a couple who actually reach out and take some caring actions too. There's J who writes almost every day (responding almost always the same day) and there's Helen who has called and made sure I got out socially because she cares. That's pretty much it though. Everyone else just doesn't have time for real caring.
So a spider crawls up my ass and another sits on my pillow and who cares, right?
I am just so freaking tired of being alone and poor tonight. Living in a clean space with my stuff out of storage would probably not even help much, though I'd likely sleep better. I remember the days (actually, nights) felt so comfortable in my living space that I would sleep nude. Days before the dang blood pressure medication so I could sleep through the night. Oh, am I going to mourn my youth and whine about aging in this human body?
It's not all just dust in the wind, ya know?
All this because a spider crawled up my... yeah, dang spider.
you know you're welcome here
if there's no where else to go
you know you can come here
if you need a place so sleep
if you have secrets to keep
if you find yourself in way too deep
you know you are safe here
I wish I had a more comfortable place
but whether I have a dirt floor or plush luxury
you'll always have a safe place next to me
wherever I may be, wherever I may be
you'll always have a place with me
because you are my family
Now what? You know. You've got to be quick to catch a blink of an eye, after all. If you don't know, then you don't know this life I loosely call mine... or me (maybe). Yup, now if only my family would have loved as unconditionally and generously as I do.
And then, sleep...
Pleaae no spider bites.
Narf. :}
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