Yes, the brain is tired. I watch TV to distract myself from loneliness. Sometimes very stupid TV (ever see The Triangle for instance?). So I watched The Hunchback of Notre Dame and naturally related to Quasi more than anyone and then, took myself close to the core with The Phantom of the Opera where words, music, and imagination tear me apart and deposit me in the middle of the debris of broken dreams, the irrational confusion of daily life in this culture, and what most would call madness - a mind open to anything.
Dramatic, no doubt.
The little minds are so tiresome. As I push myself into an age with the same limitless perspective I've known all through this life and it is challenging enough to overcome the years without everyone around pushing the fears of normalcy and what is supposed to be within the limited perspectives of current human thought. Odds are I will die before accomplishing the world changing enlightening I had hoped to bring to this human experience, but heck if am not going to die trying (even if my efforts are half-assed at times).
Let the record show, May was a challenging month. Alas, I do not maintain the record as well as I intended. So many things have not gone as intended. The links are all there, mostly, almost, especially the first few sections of blogs, or so. Yes, this paragraph summarizes everything, perhaps so far from the core that even reading every word through every link might not give you a full understanding of the experience, but it is a start, a path, and for anyone who cares enough, a hand extended on the journey.
Still, the fun is as fun as ever, just lonelier and less connected to others on any serious or intimate level. The disconnect from everything could lead to anything happening, but so far in this life, except for a few instances, I've chosen harmless peace over the violent stressors and actions that so many seem to choose. My tired brain wonders why I limit anything anymore. Will the final year of living in this body be radically different? Will I find reason for destruction? What would I give given unlimited power and freedom to act?
Well, that would be a fun discussion to have with someone who cares to trust unconditionally and go into the depths.
Anyway, as you can plainly see by the lack of creativity and scattered thoughts in this entry, the mental fatigue is distracting, detracting, and otherwise detrimental to the mental processes that usually fuel the babble usually (or at least often) found here. clever babble, I would hope. If you only knew the mind you could have if you overcame all your fears and opened it (your mind, were talking about your mind, pay attention son) to the infinite possibilities, well... what an even more amazing journey we could share.
Sadly for the writer (and readers), this is a tired period in this life for the moment.
Fun life, tired words.