Shirley You Jest

So many words flowing out to J and still more floating around in the space between the ears of this body I inhabit, in case it matters (occasionally reaching into as if it matters even more than the effervescent eternal optimism of the childinside {not to mention hopelessly hopeful romantic} use to reach deep into the fanciful omnipresent universal celebrity {and fame and fortune} hidden slightly discreetly within the babbling blog realms of the ever expanding written gardens and the multitude of fans eagerly awaiting the next incarnation of the babbler {not to be confused with the doctor or the clones, mind you}, but let's not let a little enthusiastic self pity get carried too far away hence we lose touch with whatever point this entry might have been coming here to make, m'ok?)

What?

Yes, (or no), this is not just another not just a continuing saga entry in the continuing saga of life (we all start sagging sometime, after all), but rather, it is a blink of an eye in the brief history of time (and even briefer history of life on this planet and even briefer history of homo sapiens dominance and just a moment, what's this?... deep though has an announce a new answer... news at eleven).

All tangential asides aside, when you lavish me with praise and accolades and your hard earned money I am very appreciative and someday, perhaps soon, I might reveal myself to you but for the moment, I leave us with the illusion of my invisible presence in this life like a cellophane man as unknown and unappreciated as I am alone and isolated (fame does not true sharing make {you can read all about it in the future autobiography loosely titled The Hidden Elvis [the writer revealed] to be published someday, sometime, somewhere in that place for us if you now what I mean} and people in random houses should not write on stone tablets).

You can all fight over publishing rights.

Meanwhile, the hunger continues to produce less than logical remedies as the sensory apparatus settles for what is preferable from what is available and the humans available have no been preferable for a long long time. I long to meet someone who's dominating emotion and motivation is not fear or greed.

in younger days
i held you close all night
only to leave your side
for words compelled to write

your endless hope
inspired such pure ideals
and i still recall
how good it feels

to love and be loved
unconditionally
to trust and be trusted
just the same

it does not appear
in today's society
than anyone still will
do it again

so sad, this dying species
so sad, this suicide
so sad, the fear is winning
so sad, the love we hide
oh dear me, oh my... is there anybody going to listen to my story?

Maybe this one (there are so many).

Why do you condemn yourself to your vision of hell when you can create heaven just as easily? So afraid you are not up to the task on your own, but that is the only way it can be. You have nothing to share until you find yourself and only you know where you are. For all the energy you expend on desire, you never seem to get quite that far. Can you stop running in circles for just long enough to see how much you are missing by believing you know what is right and wrong, do you even feel your lips when you are kissing? Or should we ask when was the last time you gave all of yourself to anything? You call taking giving and pretend that is love, but it is not a love song you are singing.

Why do you condemn yourself?
What are you apologizing for?
Original sin is one book on your shelf
But there is so much more

Life is an open door.
Love is how to keep it open. Someday I hope you all understand.

And yes, everything changes, if we only opened ourselves to experience life, we'd know this well. We'd know how to live together without killing ourselves or each other. Sad we don't do that now.

But don't be sad (and not cuz two out of three ain't bad) because you are here experiencing this magical mystery tour of life in your own individual way (for the moment, staring in awe at my infinite wisdom, no doubt) and rejoice in the word for if this exists, then imagine the hope for humanity you can find if you join the band and follow me down to the river. You don't have to be a hippie to get it, but you are one if you do. And if you are frightened by the word or concept, bless you for listening anyway.

Don't go changing to try to please me, but even more, don't try to change me to please yourself. You;ll have to get used to failure and disappointment if you do and that's one of the last things I wish for you. Embrace your good intentions, even if they scare you. Try to follow through. I believe you can. I believe in your heart. I hope you do too.

But where's the dirt?... where's the drama?... where's the details?...

They are, for what they are worth, mostly lost in translation from the experience to the mind to the words these days. What does flow into words mostly goes to J, the human currently keeping me from giving up on humanity (everyone has a purpose, right?). Those around me are distant, at best. Uninterested in the dirt, drama, or details of this life experience or me, so most of the time I don't think about them. Investing time, energy, interest, love, trust, stuff, life in people in the hope they will return the gifts has not balanced in return for me. I remain alone and those I've given all I had to remain far away, out of touch, and for all intensive purposes gone except in memories and feelings in me.

So the hunger continues. Nuts.

I'm still sending all my good thoughts to you.

Narf :)