Someone, Somewhere, Somewhen

I was asleep when I wrote this. At least that is what the date/time stamp would suggest if you were here. If anyone was here. Was anyone ever here ever, I wonder. Are we here now? I carried around a book called Be Here Now once. I think it was for a community college course in Monterey California. I miss my life sometimes.

Wow, four here, none here, no explanation. I think it was something about the same old same old same old, again, that is, the same days doing the same things doing the same dance pulling the same strings. Remember when I used to call you ding? It was such an endearing and yet subtly judgmental word. At once it was ding go the strings of your heart which it was simultaneously a congratulatory and slightly sarcastic ding! you've got it, by george you've got it, even though I don't think you ever really did.

Yes, we had our pet names and ding was one. Ah, the eighties, quite the lost decade of domestic bliss.

No wonder those days come to mind. Every day is so much the same now, again. Some desk work then some me time and eating (lately, spaghetti and more spaghetti as the belly grows) then some field work then some other work then back to desk work and once again, one of the last ones to leave the hallway each evening.

Playing softball, having fun, when was that? While out in the field, Jackson texted to express some frustration. I listened, shared reality, offered hugs, and advised her to return to her heart where innocence and purity and hopefulness (and a strong does of normal human naivety) lives and flourishes and gives her some surface peace). Drama at the softball fields.

Back here, catching up a bit, Eb cleaned up a bit because tomorrow he had having a campaign party here. He's running for some local office, I forget which. The place has never been cleaner. I will try to get photos one of these moments before it turns into a mess again. I mean, it is not clean and the furniture is still too uncomfortable to be comfortable sitting on, but the floor has been swept better than ever, the wood even looks a little polished, the bathroom was corner-cleaner for the first time in a year. It is quite the change. Thank you Eb.

I learned how to use paypal to send money this week. Yes, I know, just when I almost intended to raise the savings again. Helping hurts the wallet, but feels so good to the heart and it seems to be the only way to keep people in my life, even if it's just rarely when they need something. I ate more spaghetti and added some hot dogs and watched some TV and here we are.

Wish you were here. Wish someone was here.

Narf :)