Unfinished Babbles

That's what the last week or few have been full of, lots and lots of unfinished babbles. Lack of time, of course, and lack of energy, some, but also lack of desire to express the unpleasantries of war and pestilence, death and deep fungal infections, loneliness and sudden solar flares, and assorted sundries.

I don't know why others don't see
the joy in giving everything
being one with eternity
to hear the cosmos sing

I don't know why others don't feel
the joy in sharing everything
being one with all that's real
to hear the cosmos sing

the irony, the parodox
the joke is on me
being one with everything
leaves me so lonely

the only one I've ever met
who gives it all away
being one without regret
hearing the cosmos play

I search to find, for there must be
another giving everything
being one with infinity
hearing the cosmos sing
feeling everything
feeling the cosmos sing

It wasn't well known in the dark corner of the universe where our hero first met the dream that would propel him (and her) to the vision of the ideal experience, the oneness with everything that is attainable in this life by simply being without fear, without the illusions of need to possess as was expressed by so many in so many ways, but all saying the same thing... so often called god as the prophets were said to live, as the song Imagine expressed, as so many pray to be like the ones they pray to but fear keeps them from actualizing so they hide and demands others hide in conformity and repression and the illusion of privacy and while the false gift of respect for privacy is usually seen as more important than sharing everything, I must actualize the way of the prophets and dreams and ideals and record it to remind myself how it feels and how right it is so I write this somewhere for posterity and the aware as I bury it in the middle of an excessively long paragraph of babbling nonsense and distraction because suddenly giving seven hundred dollars to someone far away and not letting anyone else know is more challenging than it looks for one wanting to share the illusion of personal one on one sharing in this physical world, more challenging than ever for the moment for so much lonelier than ever, especially when it sets me back yet another month in my quest to save enough money to move out of this place, no less retire (never happening, unless an unplanned windfall falls on my head). But it feels so good to give, even alone, even when it hurts, it feels so good to give the rush is almost overcoming the carb-loading limited sleep grogginess. Hallylooya and all the fun of the fair (oh dear, this paragraph was supposed to be nondescript, incognito, subtly hidden amidst nonsense and distraction and words no one in their right mind would wade through) so I remain in this uncomfortable space, part martyr and part savior and part child of the universe jut giving it all away to actualize the experience of being one with everything and hearing and feeling and being the cosmos as it sings.

Blessed are the children who do not know how to fear and hide and give up.

Someday, someone will...

Narf :)