Friday, February 3, 2017

Because I Must

Babble, that is... the babbler must release the words and all will be well... even if it kills me I will die happy. When I don't give myself this time to write I lose my way... so sleep will be put off again... zzzzzz for another day.

Just getting home from Bridge night. Excel's son was in a car accident and we all went to the scene because the other driver was trying to leave because he appeared a little drunk and admitted he was texting and Excel wanted support when the guy's wife and friends showed up. We hung out for an hour before the cops arrived, one state trooper. It was shift change. The driver who wanted to leave hit Excel's son's car from behind while her son was sitting at a red light. That pushed him into the car in front of him and his car may be totaled. He has back pain. I called the sponsor of my Sunday softball team who is a personal injury lawyer with the biggest firm in the area and put Excel's son on the phone with him. Good to have a friend who takes legal calls at midnight. They talked and they will talk more in the morning. The poor kid just bought that brand new car, his first brand new car. He and his girlfriend both felt sore and I urged them to see a doctor tomorrow.

So we ended Bridge early, which was my plan, but still just getting home.

Not much time for me these days. Stealing time from sleep again, just like when I was younger and in a body that could handle this. I have a meeting with the owner of the company tomorrow to discuss my concrns about the decisions my supervisor is making. I need to be awake enough to find clarity and brevity. Sleep soon, but I am hungry. My eyes are blurry more often these days. Fatigue. High sugar levels. Stress. Age. Not enough dancing, singing, and time for me.

Chocolate, I have chocolate. Gonna get fatter tonight, but it'll put me to sleep. Shhhh.

I see I will need to rearrange my writing times and squeeze some writing time in at work during lunch or breaks (I don't go anywhere for lunch anyway... in fact I must start bringing lunch). The work and play schedule is full every day of the week until Friday evening. I guess I should be happy the Friday softball team is taking this short winter season off. I didn't make it to Saturday morning Senior softball last week. I wanted more me time. And rest. I have stuff to do with Helen this Saturday. She is stressing over cable bills. The cable companies have vulture tactics going on around here since Spectrum took over Brighthouse. Sunday I have Softball. Next weekend I have an out of town tournament.

No wonder I am tired. Let's look at this week.

Monday was awake out out of here 7:30am and got back here 11:00pm... the routine is wake, shower, type a few words, dress, work, then evening activities. Monday it was shop, softball, and write-relax-rest until I fell asleep. Tuesday was similar, 7:30am - 1:30am as I went to cards right after work and got back here at late and there is no going straight to bed except on rare occasions. Life is too short for that. Both days I watched some TV to unwind and got about 4 hours sleep. Wednesday was crash day as I got home at 7pm, ate, and laid down for sleep just after 8pm. 11 hours sleep later I repeated the morning routine and headed out the door. Today was the same as Tuesday with cards and the accident described above.

Definitely must make more me time and more writing time for my continued sanity.

Thank goodness I feel compelled to write to J regularly as she gives me the reason I need to push myself to sit at the computer and type more words. I would likely not do it for myself every day and then I would get wonky and funky and cloudy and all the downbeat whining and blah blah blah would start (what?... when did it ever end?... you must be reading me too much, please fill out the questionnaire and deposit ten cents to continue).

Yes, the writing keeps me happy in spite of the most insane challenges. Like people.

Laughter is still some of the best medicine and I am heavily medicated once again. So I popped open a can of Cheesy Burger macaroni (on sale for 80 cents) and shall watch a bit of internet TV with a bit of chocolate and that ought to lull me into sleep. Some people take pills. Drugs are in the food, people, why waste money on other poisons, aye?

Hoping you are happy with your life.

Narf. :)

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