Sunday, February 12, 2017

The Continuing Saga of the Colon (and other intestinal fortitudes)

Before we get this entry started, I shall give you the opportunity to run away by letting you know that this might get somewhat graphic and I would prefer you simply skip this entry if you think you might get a shitty attitude or any sort of judgmental offense (for the sake of clarification, taking "offense" to something, being "offended by" something, is actually an aggressive choice and acting on it, telling someone you are "offended" is inferring they must change their behavior to conform to your judgment which is an offensive action on the part of the one claiming offense... perhaps that is why it is called "offense", hmmmm?) just skip this entry or, if you insist on expressing your displeasure with the subject matter or the detail contained within, just go away.

Now that we've abridged any attempt anyone may make to cast a dark shadow on this entry, let's get down to business. It really was no miracle, what happened was just this.

I shitted. Twice. It was a really big shit. Both times.

I would not say it is time to sing Ode To Joy or some such Halleluya song, but the mostly good news is that I finally had the first post colonoscopy BM. Two, in fact. It required three 100mg Docusate Sodium stoll softeners taken over the 48 hours since the procedure between meals and ultimately a glycerine suppository to open the flood gates. I will spare you the 8 by 10 glossy photographs, but the reason it is mostly good news (as opposed to completely good news) is there appeared to be some blood and there was definitely some pain, though not nearly as much as there was in the past when larger harder stools passed.

The pain may have been simply soreness from the procedure. The pain may have been due to one or more of the three cauterized spots where polyps were removed breaking open and bleeding. The latter possibility leads to all sorts of risks, two of the most serious being hemorrhage and septicemia so I must track myself closely for signs of either.

If I don't wake up in the morning, please apologize to The Maharaja for the blood stains on his guest bed and hopefully he got me to the hospital in time. If not, hmmm, I suppose I want to donate my body to science and have the parts not useful cremated and the dust sprinkled somewhere profound... or at least coo. (though probably illegal, so who has the guts to do it?). Strawberry Fields (that's in Central Park, NYC) comes to mind.

Hoping I do wake up in the morning, I shall start another work week hoping to hear from another better job, the Seminole County Safety Officer position that I applied for last July and, according to the HR person who has been apologizing to me, is all but mine except for the governmental approval process being completed.

Now that I am nodding off, I realize that I did not cross into the details of the physical experience (with a photojournalistic flair) nearly as much as I thought I might. I would like to have more time off for myself as it has been a busy weekend... yesterday was mostly venegation and recovery with cards and games in the evening... today was softball this morning, lunch with some teammates in the afternoon, dinner with Helen in the evening, and laundry with this babbling and the aforementioned pooing and the internet TV on in the background in the recent hours. Instead of pushing to stay awake longer, I shall lay down and let sleep come so i can wake early and head to work early and build up some extra hours so I can leave early on Friday when I am going to an out of town softball tournament.

Perhaps in some future or past entry, I will provide the graphic details mentioned earlier. For now, I shall hope for the best from this body. It survived softball practice today, though I took it easy compared to other practices.

Jackson sent a nite nite which still inspires a big smile.

I am lonely and her few words help, but what else is new.

Life goes on, with or without you.

Nite nite.

Narf :)

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