For now...
Softball Sunday, two games, two loses, the new team is improving, though we have one prima donna player dragging the team down because she thinks she is much better than she is and yet doesn't hustle at all, throws the ball to the wrong bases, gives aggressive looks to base runners while holding on to the ball, and teaches others who are just learning bad habits. Hopefully we will find a fix for that.
After softball, dinner with friends at a sports bar. Sigh, sports bar food. But smile, dozens of TVs to see football games. Strange cultural phenomenon in my head and also at the place. Watching people in optimal health while eating crap food and drinking alcohol. What a culture. Still, fun to see friends.
Home to write and listen to music. Checked Fantasy football and I am ahead, projected to win, but sadly it is against Jackson and advice I gave her that she followed cost her 10 points. I won't know if I won by more than ten points until tomorrow night. Hope I do, or my advice cost her a win. We hardly keep in touch anymore, but I still love her and don't want to cause her any loses, even in a silly online game we hardly even talk about.
where is the meaning
where is the magic
where is the love
no time for me
but do I want to?
where is the question?
no answers above
no answers below
no answers outside
no time for within
no fantasy
no time for me
lost in the pages of forgotten books
lost in the memories of forgotten looks
lost in the workaholic fight not to drown
lost conforming to the happy sad clown
break me in two and you'll find my heart
already beating in two separate parts
torn into pieces before I could crawl
the only repair was giving it all
without walls
without doors
without defenses
without games
without shames
without pretenses
too vulnerable for conformity
so why don't I give in?
all I want is honesty
it's my life I'm living
delusions are not for me
no matter how many believe
I would rather be alone
than lie or deceive
without walls
without doors
without defenses
without games
without shames
without pretenses
break me in two and you'll find my heart
already beating in two separate parts
torn into pieces before I could crawl
the only repair was giving it all
only partially repaired by giving it all
did you miss me?
dd you even ever know me?
do you miss me?
is there any way to show me?
can you feel me?
without any god or fear
want the real me?
just be real, just be here
without walls
without doors
without defenses
without games
without shames
without pretenses
just be you
without fear
just be real
just be here
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