Sunday, August 14, 2016

More Than You Wanted to Know

Slept four hours and awakened by an itchy butt. Rash? Hemorrhoids? Parasites? Insects? Some rare or alien disease? (why should I rule out anal probing?... go ahead, I'll listen to your answer). All sorts of possibilities bounce around the brain pushing the idea of falling back to sleep right out the window. So I ran the shower as hot as I could between the cheeks and the itching went through the roof and then I put hemorrhoid cream on because I put some on last night and either it caused the itching or it started a healing that caused the itching and even red-heat-tender there was no burning so maybe it is healing itching but either way I really need to get to a doctor when I get back for a professional set of eyes to look at my anus. Unless you want to.

Just what you expected to come here to read about, right?

If you are not laughing, you are in the wrong place. This is my life, all body parts and orifices are exposed here. You are lucky I don't use the laptop camera or you would likely see close up photos asking for medical advice. After all, the aliens could have poor universal precautions and be passing whatever I've got to other planets. Anal itch from Alpha Century, no less.

Time to empty the car. It has all sorts of stuff in it (paper goods, a new chair, softball stuff, cases of water, and more). It is too dark at night to do it and I have many good excuses for not doing it during the day like waking up too late to have time cuz I'd be late for some activity or the rain or simply being too lazy to drak the heavy stuff a hundred feet or more from where I park the car to here across very uneven ground, through a fence that has the door on the wrong side requiring two hands to open, and loose mulch. Sometimes the neighbors are sitting out right in the only path I've got. Yup, lots of great excuses.

Hope your day is even more fun than mine.

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