I Want To Live

Not really recalling the John Denver lyric, I am feeling the after-effects (and affects, no doubt) of yesterday's long day in the sun and concerns of a few different maladies like CKD, Stones, Diabetes, Anemia, Hemorrhoids, Lisinopril side effects, Depression, all the way up to CHF and Tumors danced through my mind last night and made for semi-restless sleep and a mediocre affect (blah blah blah) this day, but I distract myself thinking about the final season and episode of Castle, but mostly the blah is a wave of impatience as I wait for a call back
from the last job interview and concerns that they might have chosen someone else in spite of the Manager telling me he wants to hire me. The waiting is the hardest part.

I forgot what day it was. I lost track of time on purpose quite often in this past year. At least I made attempts to lose track of time. It is sometimes a futile effort. Almost a week went by, again, and the waiting for a response about a job stalled the job search some more. The more I search, the more SPAM I get. The more unsolicited calls I get. A sad loop downward into a depressive spiral toward giving up, no doubt.

Not dead yet.

So whatever day it was, I did an online task, step two in renewing my Risk Manager license. I still need to do something else so I left a message with the contact in Tallahassee for more information about other documents I need to submit. I sprayed the weeds out front because the spraying Curly did last week has been slow in acting on the weeds. Last time I did this some guy came later in the day to cut all the weeds. He doesn't tell me stuff much these days, maybe because I am not as much help as he wants me to be because of increasing physical limitations. Stamina is diminishing dramatically in the past few months. Wait, where are the distractions.

So I found Bones on Hulu.

That was a few days ago too. Time is so irreverently irrelevent these days. After watching the last season of Castle through to the series finale, I watched the last season of Bones and then I watched the current new season episodes of a few shows (I found that the subscription to CBS All Access allows me to stream current CBS shows. The bad news is even connected with ethernet cable the stream from CBS sucks at times) and then I found Misfits and have been watching that. Cards and softball and you know, the usual.

Somebody hold me.

Narf.