What A Difference

What a difference a coma makes. Or an m, for that atter. Matter, even. Heard that before? Well... who cares, right? So ok, like I could care less about whether anyone cares about whether I care about whether anyone cares about whether I care if anyone cares. What? I know what I said, but do you? Just because you've read some of this before does not mean you read all of it, or understood any of it, because that's just the way it is, some things will never change. Because I think I always wanted to be inimitable, that's why. You could have been a contender, if only you would have wanted to be, after all. We could have been friends and changed our lives.

Yes, there we are again (the way we were?) trying (and trying again, and again) and attempting, even, to give brief daily updates a shot. Tears come to the mind when I realize how much I've lost and missed or it could all be a bad dream or something I ate. As I said, in case it matters, maybe it's the nostalgia of watching the first season of Saturday Night Live which, even after 40 years (the Richard Pryor episode is so sadly prophetic and relevant today, unless you are blind and still have a closed mind like most people... what'd I say?... kill the Arabs and take their oil?... how do so many people stay oblivious to the obvious?... conditioned to delusional thinking from birth?... religion?... institutional greed and selfishness facilitated by insecurity?... oh, is it because he is black?), is as stupid (and we mean that in the most brilliantly complimentary way) and winsome as ever (thank you Lily... and Shelly Pryor too... but oh how I miss Gilda most of all, sigh).

Stupid and winsome, that's a lot like life these days. Or Beethovan. What a difference some drugs make, aye? Roll over. So today is Wednesday, you know what that means, we're gonna have a special guest. No, not really. Nobody visits. Nobody cares. I am perfecting the self-pity song that nobody knows. Songs you never heard, remember? Can I get an amen? Oh course not, but no worries, I didn't really want one. Ever. I am feeling sleepy again. I may need some Jamitol.

See why I haven't been there? It is not as if I have actually been gone, after all. I've been right here, mostly. Babbling between naps and stress and the gardens continue to grow, in case it matters. I just don't weed and feed or follow any of the normal protocols and styles or stop the mind from wandering where it will go, ya know?

George Carlin is ranting about hypocrisy. Just one more thing to love about him.

In Case It Matters is meant to be the brief, to the point, just the facts, simple one-stop blog listing the events and experiences of the daily life but the fact appears to be that daily life is way too boring for me and that gets depressing so why bother? You want to know? So as I wonder often and ask occasionally, why don't you ask, huh? huh? huh? You can find answers here, though they may not be to your questions. Or, if you have an extra hundred million dollars laying around, here.

Sometimes I just get tired of eating out of cans.

Yes, this is the point. The simple events and experiences of the day without embellishment or frills have not been coming. Here is an example. So today I woke up early and sat at the computer a few minutes looking at jobs and fell back to sleep. I headed back to bed because the stomach didn't feel good again (it's been a thing for a while... not sure if it's the change in diet or the reason for the change in diet and without more medical tests I may never know) and a bad dream about finding my car stolen because I made a quick trip to buy something while someone important to me was waiting at a hotel or somewhere and I felt very sad because I had a lot of stuff in the car and I blew an opportunity to spend time with someone very important to me and my heart was crushed and traumatized... woke me up a few hours later.

So I turned on reruns of the first season of SNL and came here. I miss Gilda, did I mention that? I miss childhood. I miss honesty and honest people not indoctrinated in the normalcy of standards and judgments and pretenses of the world. I miss the good health and strong fit body I used to be in. I miss food. I'm hungry. I miss starting sentences with a word other than I.

What a difference a day makes, aye? Sadly, in some ways, it make no difference at all.

There's always hope, yes, as long as there is babbling, there's always hope.

Narf :)