Poor Eating Patterns

Today went by as a blur like most days this week did or will. It is a vegetative week in spite of the activities keeping me busy. We blame TV. I'll summarize another time (I know because I already did). Finding a job is proving more challenging than it has in the past. Every year I become less employable by current standards. Without Curly, I'd be on the street or in a less private, less independent position. I'd hate that. I don't want to fall back into wallowing, so let's tear me up some as I usually respond to that well.

Sometimes lol.

Breaking patterns ia a good thing when the patterns are not healthy. Take my eating patterns, for instance. Especially my social eating patterns. No kitchen, no sink, all I eat at home is canned pasta. I don't even want to use a can opener because there is no place to wash it and I do not want to risk splatter and I don't want to eat outside. It's too hot, it's too dirty, there's no table or chair, etc, etc, etc... I am full of excuses, rational reasons for not eating a more natural healthy diet. One reason is just about everyone I eat with eats a very fat-meat heavy diet.

So when I eat alone I eat from pop-top cans. When I eat with others it is an over-eating frenzy of meats, potatoes, pasta, with the occasional Chinese buffet (which is the most vegetables I get). Three nights a week the card party is 80% meat, 20% potato. If I go out after softball, it is to a sports bar. I have developed a pattern of poor eating for different reasons and different influences every day.

This week I changed the pattern for a few days. Softball was rained out for the past week. Cards were cancelled two nights. I opened just one can this week. I ate nuts (cashews), dried fruit (papaya), and chocolate at home. I ate Chinese buffet once when Curly called to eat there. I was feeling less bloated than I had in a month until tomorrow when I will go to a southern American buffet and overdo it. I know this because it already happened (yes, I am time-travelling... or maybe just playing with our heads). Anyway, I feel like a stuffed animal might feel if a stuffed animal was alive. That is because I am a stuffed animal.

I feel asleep shortly after eating (and defecating). Carb overload. Still bloated.