Thursday, January 26, 2017

Business Analyst? (Mixed Feelings)

I was falling asleep after I ate many hours ago. What did I eat? Five Sabrett hot dogs made push-cart style. Actually, seven because I broke them up because the buns were shorter than the dogs. Yes, so I ate seven dogs on short buns. Seven Short dogs with specially prepared to my taste (added ingredients: a pack of Stevie/sugar, butter spread, ketchup, and a bit of onion soup mix {the exact measurements were not measured, so that level of the details is left for your imagination} microwaved for about 25-30 minutes on 30% power stirred twice during the microwaving) Sabrett red onion s on top. And chocolate milk.

Waking the next morning groggy with low metabolism and no motivation to start the day, I wonder how much of it is the prospect of giving up the life of retirement and how much is giving up so much of the life of retirement. Tomorrow I start a new job. I suppose we can call the position Business Analyst. It is with a very small and informal company a friend started that offers assistance to realtors and people eligible for reverse mortgages. He has three or four of his family working for him. It is not lost on my that I've been watching the TV show The Office for the last few days and the experience of interviewing twice this week was eerily similar to the show. I should probably not tell him about this blog, huh? lol :)

So instead of sleeping, I wrote about this new job and the interview/office experience to J last night after 3am after watching more of The Office and then a CBS show or two (yes, I was falling asleep many hours before but still away so let's see what the groggy brain thought last night, m'ok?) and shall read and expand on that here and now in this entry. But first, perhaps this text I just this minute sent to Jackson can sum it up in a nutshell (or closer to 140 characters):

Lol. Bless your liver lol. Today is my last day of life of leisure and I am a bit wonky about it. Wonky in a this case is brought on by extreme relief (income), some happiness (potential), some dissatisfaction (1 week vacation a year and $10 an hour and no health insurance and a long term commitment), and a whole lot of trepidation. Like I want to celebrate but feel like it's kind of a funeral lol. Thank you for helping me explain that lol lam. I feel much better now. πŸ€“πŸ‘€πŸ€£πŸ˜‡πŸŒ


Or perhaps this one:

Definitely time for work and income. The wonky is the compensation and commitment to friends. It is the universe laughing at my willingness to give more than I get once again and I am laughing at the irony πŸ€£πŸ‘€πŸ˜œπŸ˜ΆπŸ˜³ lol lam πŸ€“πŸ€‘


Ok, so what did I write to J and how can I further explain the dirt, drama, and details...

I feel torn, but happy. After two interviews during which the boss and I both expressing reluctance (we'll get to that) and the assistant boss (who I will technically report to) selling me hard and redundantly (almost desperately) on taking the job (because either he does not want to do it due to the pay it offers or because he really does not understand how and I am pretty sure it is both as the boss said they've been not reaching their goal for a long time), they offered me the job. I accepted. Mixed feelings. Very mixed feelings. But it is income and I shall explore the offer and the mixed feelings now.

Let's start with the income, which is the most important aspect for me for the moment. $10 an hour would be low for the mindless data entry position that I thought was available when I first heard about the job from another friend who works there (I regularly play cards and games with two of the people working there out of the ten or so people working there). Thing is, it is not simple data entry. The boss, who we shall call Michael for the blog, wants someone to analyze his small business and use ACT, a contact management software, to make his business work more efficiently with the goal (or his dream) of turning it into a national multi-million dollar mortgage and lending corporation in a few years.

Yes, all that for $10 an hour.

They both tried to explain how "incentives" could put me close to $40K a year, but the assistant boss (let's call him Dwight for this blog) could not explain the offer compensation clearly so he asked Michael to explain it and it was still not very clear because I do not think it was thought out too well outside of Michael's head. He read from a piece of paper with a whole lot of numbers scribbled all over it in a rather random-looking format. If I was signing a contract or committment the details would have needed to be worked out much more clearly and typed out in neat columns, but I glanced at the scribbles from upside down as they were trying to read from it and decided it did not matter, $10 an hour is better than $0 an hour, so I took the job.

What I heard was $10 an hour with as much overtime as I want and incentives that could bring me to almost $40K if I make their business much more successful by analyzing their business model well enough to present a system/process to his loan officers and make it work the way they want it to work without direct authority over anyone (in other words, through Dwight with Michael as his boss). Anyone blinking wide-eyed understands. Anyone laughing understands me.

Anyway, he usual contract fee or salary for the lowest level of that type of job (Software Implementation) is a lot more than I'll be getting, like three to four times more (at least 2.5 times more to start), but desperate times call for desperate measures and I will at least be getting some income so I accepted.

I am actually starting today but they don't know it. I am researching their business (which I can't find on the internet so establishing a web presence is my first strong recommendation... unfortunately, I will need to make my recommendations happen so I am not just an analyst/consultant, which means I should be compensated even more than the links above suggest, but let's work through those grumbles, see the job as a challenge, and negotiate for more compensation later, mok?) and other similar businesses (Michael told me they were the only one, but perhaps he did not do much research and it will come as a shock to him that there are many, nine right here in town accredited by the BBB... or perhaps he was just selling me on taking the job).

The business Michael started is reverse mortgages for seniors. At 62 years old, there is a government program and reading reading about it I see it is managed by HUD through which a person who owns a home can get a loan, which amounts to a line of credit, for the equity in their home. Or... If a 62 or older person does not have a home, they can buy a home at about half price through an FHA government loan and not be responsible for any payments until after they die (in which case their heirs pay off the house or the government/lender pays off the the house and can re-sell it). Hopefully that is what it is because it is my first attempt to understand the reverse mortgage business and my job is to make it work for this company.

Isn't the business world amazing? lol.

Shhhh, this is serious business, no laughing. Actually, the biggest plus about the job is the casual friendly atmosphere at the office and the relatively unlimited potential of starting a business on the ground floor IF Michael is willing to share (and if not, it's great experience I can sell to another business with more severe requirements for compensation and benefits so it is as if I am just starting out in a new career and that opportunity is the amazing part as I doubt any other business would hire me for this job... it's good to have friends starting a new business).

So at least that is my understanding of the two products or programs this business offers at this point in time based on a three minute explanation and about an hour of my own internet research. It is relatively new as far as financial mortgage products go. Helen, who has worked in the mortgage industry for many years, does not know the workings of reverse mortgages because she's not worked for a company that offers it) and they are just starting up (actually they started up a year or two ago and offered me a sales (loan officer) position and I did not want to do sales and it was too unstable for me to consider... but not that they are more established and have a sales team and need an analyst to make it better and I am nearing desperation... yeah, circumstances change), so I am getting in close to the ground floor and if the owner's dream comes true I will turn him into a multi-millionaire (or billionaire) lender and he'll pay me six figures (or millions) in a few years.

Dream big or go home.

Meanwhile, the mixed feelings are because there is no health insurance... and $10 an hour... and I punch a time clock... and one week of vacation a year... few holidays... not sure about sick days... not even sure if they have an human resources person or how well they follow labor laws if they follow labor laws.

A major step down in salary and the first time I am punching a time clock in... actually, I don't think I ever punched a time clock. Also one week off a year? That will not work at all for the long run. But it is income.

Also, from my own personal personality perspective, since I know the owner and a couple of the people working for him, I will feel really bad if another job comes along and I leave, but he's got to understand that I need more than $10 an hour and I need health insurance and time off and benefits. He did mention something about a 401k plan, so they must be a bit more of an actual business than the presentation/interview suggested. Ultimately, the "irons I have in the fire" so to speak, are a bunch of state jobs have great benefits, higher salaries, and a whole lot more vacation, holiday, and sick time off. Unfortunately, agism is my biggest obstacle there.

So I am torn, but happy (and hearing Alanis {Morissette} and maybe a little Sheryl {Crow [or is that me eating crow] too} and Natalie? (Imbruglia} and who knows what else as well... Harry, Elton, Billy, Justin, Jackson, Dan, Pink, Floyd, Who?... come save me too lol lam). He knows he is getting a bargain and was honest when he said he really needs me to come on board and help him develop his business. If I was more stable, I'd have said no unless guaranteed more $, at least twice as much, but... it is income.

So I shall celebrate and hope I can do what Dwight has not been able to do to make Michael's dream come true to do in the two years or so that they've been running their company. They have a dozen or so people working for them, so they may actually make real money, but Michael has big dreams and do not appear to have the management skills to optimize the business to make the dreams come true. That's what they want me to do.

I've got some studying to do in order to make his dream come true... so I am working on learning about the business, the local market and competition and whatever I can find on the internet.

So ultimately this is good news for a homeless guy who is living for free in a friend's house but still wants to eat and be clean and live among the normal humans. Also, car, phone, and storage payments. And being a softball addict is not free.

The bottom line is I get some regular income, even if there is no job security and all the other missing pieces (yes, specifically {and hopefully briefly} not stable, no job security, no health insurance, almost no benefits or vacation, not enough to pay rent or securely sign a lease or live independently, but enough to keep the car and pay for the storage and phone and food and softball and such and such).

We shall see how it goes as the weeks pass.

Realistically, it's a gamble. It is also income, so yay.

Now you know what I know about the new job. :)

Thanks to J, I was able to figure all this out (because I forced myself to think about all this because she asked about the interview and new job) so I feel much better about everything now. Thank you J, for caring and hoping and sending great energy.

That's about when I went to sleep. I must go through my storage unit right now and find work clothes and then find room for them to stay clean here at The Maharaja's place. I fill out the application and actually start the job tomorrow morning.

Oh, and on a rather important side note, we have hot water again. I did not count how many days we went without it, but it may have been a week. I finally told The Maharaja I would play for the plumbing repairs needed (there are several) and he called the plumber almost immediately. I paid the plumber $402 to fix the hot water in the bathroom and the kitchen sink leak. The Maharaja was very happy with that. I am very happy about that. It felt so good to take a hot shower , I completely overlooked the $ stress.

There are still entries in the pipeline that will be uploaded (and perhaps lost) at earlier dates than this one, in case it matters. All in all though, the wonderful life continues to amaze and surprise and whatever. Hopefully you are more amused than confused and enjoying the ride.

So good day or night and have a wonderful tomorrow :)

Narf :)

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