Friday, January 6, 2017

Summary, Reflection, Invitation, (or something like that)

So life seems to be returning to some semblance of stability or normalcy or at least the pattern I became accustomed to last year. The card nights are on again Tuesdays and Thursdays and Saturdays if I don't have something else to do. Softball starts next week and maybe even tomorrow. Jackson may have broken the silence and disconnect, but I reluctantly lowered my expectations so whatever she wants to share is what I will accept. I will figure out alternative emergency contacts whenever I get a job or have to fill out and emergency contact form again. Alas, that is sad, but it is what she seems to want. The job search is back to the pre-holiday pace except for the the state website which is down until the 9th. Don't panic.

The state site may be down, but still there is some good news. Though it could mean nothing as dozens of other interviews have before it, the Seminole County Risk Manager finally called today and set up the interview with me and his boss for the County Safety Officer position for next Friday. I think I might get my hair cut by a professional next week (I've been trimming it myself this year). It's a week away, so waiting continues, searching continues, life continues. I think I may actually want this job.

When I am asked why I left the positions I left during interviews, I am professional and kind, usually citing different visions brought in by new corporate management. I'll even go as far as saying they changed the qualifications for the position, which is also true and why I got a severence package. Truth is, this is closer to why I left. Yes, this is the corporation that bought out the hospital I was at and Their practices were not compatible with my ethics.

Yesterday there was not much to apply for so I mostly watched TV and I fell asleep right after dinner. I woke about 3am and have been watching some NASA shows in the internet. I am going to get dressed and head out to play some softball this morning. I think. It rained last night so I am not sure the fields will be available, but I may head out anyway. The first day of dressing for exercise and getting some for the year, hopefully the first of many.

I still haven't heard from the case worker about the colonoscopy appointment. It is great that the organization offers free medical care, but most definitely do not have a good bedside manner nor do they have efficiency (perhaps not even concern, as I said, the case worker still has not introduced herself as a person with a name and we've had an email, phone, and face to face contact). Just one doctor out of all the people I've worked with made a personal connection and she's the one who's been pushing to get me the colonoscopy. The trouble is that doctor has no power over the specialists or case workers. At least the case worker has the signed paperwork, finally, and she said she will call or email me when she sets up the appointment. The ridiculous bureaucracy of medical care adds cost and reduces efficacy which ultimately is bad for people and for medical care, but that's the world we live in. So it's taken 2 full months just to get to the point where the doctor will be contacted and an appointment will actually be made. Still appreciate anything they might do.

As I said above, socializing is returning, though I am remembering more and more that while the current very busy schedule of socialization keeps me occupied and distracted and less lonely and mostly having fun in spite of challenges, it is not as satisfying as I want it to be. What is primarily missing is intellectual stimulation (and of course romance and sex, but that requires a much more specific person much more challenging to find, so I need to focus on the missing pieces that have many more reasonably available opportunities). The Maharaja is one source of intellectual contact and I need to make time to get involved in some of the activities he is involved in because most of his social life is science and intellectual discussions. Another major missing piece is healthy socialization, physical exercise. Softball is not enough because while it is outdoors and does push the body, it can be a lazy day as well. I must return to a daily physical exercise that raises the heart rate above 130 for an hour or so and also strengthens muscles. Hopefully the body will react well to that in spite of the medication side effects and other issues (anemia, kidney weakness, etc).

Now how about you? :)

Yes, dear readers, we know you don't share much (at least not in comments, aye?). If it feels better to share only as you do, keep doing it. Comments are public, after all, and we never know who might read or respond. Long ago, some trolls did pop up messing with you for attention, but comments have been so quite for so long you can safely expect few readers, if any, other than me. If you'd rather email or text or call, you know you are welcome to share any way you wish. Just remember this - if it feels better to share some details (you never know until you try), I want to listen. Happy, sad... pleasure pain... I care about you and want to know when and why you hurt and when and why you feel good. So this is just another reminder, in case you wanted to see how sharing felt today :)

Hope you find and create more smiles than frowns today. :)

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