Thursday, October 27, 2016

Hey Big Spender (Hot Stocks, Broken Bonds, Card Drama, and assorted whatever)

Yesterday happened and much of it was recorded somewhere, but heck if we are keeping track in any linear fashion if you know what I mean, I mean, if you follow my drift, time drift, that is. It's a astrophysics joke, in case it matters. You might find some source of reference or clue here, there, and anytime (or everywhere, for that matter) as the days smudge together on account of inconsitent concentration or lack of focus or casual indifference or ignoring self-discipline or just coasting along or some such enigmatic explanation as if time itself was a wet eraser or something like that. We could be having so much fun right now if we were only here.

Laughter, in case you did not hear it through the words, fills the chambers (and chamber pots) of the windmills of my mind (hallways too) and somewhere in the basement a mad chemist is mixing some sort of magical mystery elixor sure to set off a few atomic bombs of frivolity and enlightenment as the next great leap of relaxation and coolness approaches the human condition. It doesn't get much more exciting than that.

The stuffed shirts full of themselves and a false dependancy on delusions and work ethic will fight back violently as they always do, but in the end, the majorityof people will see that violence is wrong and love is right and fear will diminished yet again like it did in the 1960s, at least for a little while. The powers that wanna be will find a way to stir up fear in the next generation, but we can enjoy another generation of love until they do.

Meanwhile, if you are looking for the next big thing, well, this video will test your patience but if you listened all the way through, you might learn about the internet of things which, some say, will change the world and the way each of us live over the next decade, perhaps even sooner. Automation, robots, sensor monitoring, the ultimate connectivity between everything (can brain implants be far behind?).

For those of you asking what is The Internet of Things? Well, wake up because you are years behind the curve already. Still, you can learn anything anytime so pay attention. According to the Oxford Dictionary definition:
“The interconnection via the Internet of computing devices embedded in everyday objects, enabling them to send and receive data.”[4] Popular examples of “things” that are part of the IoT umbrella are the Apple Watch, wearable fitness tracker Fitbit and the Nest thermostat which allows users to control their home’s temperature from their Internet-connected mobile devices.

For those of you attracted to money, investment opportunities abound, according to experts. Read for yourself: blah blah, blah... blah blah blah. No, seriously, blah.

People say the craziest things sometimes, rheally they do, dahling.

I mock, but MEMS is real. I find some of it fascinating if I had a few pennies to rub together, I'd throw a bunch into MEMS stocks. Which stocks? Maybe LeddarTech for starters. C3 IoT would have my interest as well. Possible Meshify

Others I might consider include STMicroelectronics, Teradyne, Mobileye, Stratasys, Tableau, Digistal Reality, Belkin, GE, and oh, do some research why dontcha (oh dear, my interest in money has waned already. I suppose anyone who really knows me was wondering when I took any interest in money at all and just how long this little excursion into financial advisement was going to last. Laugh and the hippies laugh with you. Sensible rational enlightened humans too.

We can let you ponder the risk of losing privacy and control over our lives even more than we already have on your own cuz I am not gonna ask just who do we trust with such power of information and control and ponder if it should be the government or the capitalists or the religious or royalty or someone else and I am sure not going to remind us that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely so don't be looking for no fear-mongering good sense amongst these words cuz it just ain't gonna happen.

What?

It just did?

Well pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, m'ok?

Maybe it was cuz I spent a lot of money today. What is a lot of money, you ask? Well, it's relatively little in the grand scheme of things, but for the unemployed farm worker and me it's a substantial sum more than I spend on any given day in the past year. Except for car payments and insurance payments and a couple of other big payment things, come to think of it.

Like I said in the brief version of the daily blog you may have heard about some several paragraphs ago, I did the usual internet stuff. Searching for jobs (and a couple more resumes went out through the wires), reading (articles and some other stuff, some serious and some fluff), watching some TV (dang if I can remember what just now, but it was background TV mostly and I'll catch up with the list of what I watch one of these days when the TV apps are open), and wrote some blogs (someday the links may come... and my princess too)and an email to J (thank you J, for being you and caring and keeping in touch).

Or was that yesterday? Well, it's true.

The actual time is really about two hours from now but as I noted somewhere else, who's here to keep track or even know, ya know? Today was just another day among many other days that are passing along this particular timeline and the usual happened once again. Internet, job searching, emails, watched a little TV, and ate pills. Just pills, no food. I just did not feel hungry today, so I ate the usual pills (Vitamin B Complex with C, Multivitamin, Garlic, Cinnamon with Chromium, Chellated Iron with some other stuff, Omega-3 Plus other Omegas, and the blood pressure pill and washed it all down with red wine vinegar and heaps of water.

Today I had about two ounces of apple wine vinegar instead of the usual one ounce to further surpress my appetite as I was going to Excel and the Commodore's place tonight and they always have high calorie snacks and even moreso since Violet started coming again. I can only guess they invited her to fill in on the Thursday I was not going to be there and now we have five for Bridge night so we play a whole lot less because Violet, as she says, plays by Violet's rules (which can be confusing) and talks a lot, eats a lot, and is on her phone a lot and distracted a lot. Nice person as far as I know, just not very appealing to me on many levels and another very obese person testing my will power. I did fine, eating nothing, not even the carrots I bought. Some nights it feels good to engage self-discipline.

I did not get any more packing done and didn't exercise, self-reprimand should follow any day now. I headed to Excel and the Commodore's place for Bridge and the usual fun and discomfort was waiting. I can only imagine what changed in Curly over the last six months but he continues to disrespect me and tonight I did not play submissive loser which really upset him. I was part of the conversation more than usual (and I still did a whole lot less talking than anyone else) and enjoyed playing to win instead of deliberately losing as I've been doing a lot since he started his passive aggressive bullying. He was as he often does, laughing at mistakes Excel and Violet were making until they really whooped him and the Commodore on one hand and he became sullen and testy from that point on.

As usual, he directed his hostility toward me and I was not having it tonight, so I simply ignored it and kept having fun with the everyone else which lead to him telling me to be quiet so he could concentrate (and as I said, I spoke less than anyone and he ignores the double standard he sets as he chats and laughs and sometimes deliberately distracts Excel and me and we often take it in good fun). He finally blew up, threw his hand in face up, and stormed out on the last hand of the night. Violet asked him what the scores were and he said he'd email them to her. He did about five minutes after he left. Turns out he would have finished third had he played out the hand and I'd have finished second and Excel would have finished first. I guess he just didn't want Excel to enjoy winning, something she seldom does.

I just would not let him drag me into the competitive dram he seems to slip into lately and it felt great to sidestep the drama and have fun. Guess he just could not take not being in control or losing. He's always saying it's just a game and he doesn't pay attention to the scores, but right after I caught up to their scores in a very short amount of time, he hot pissy and took the score pad away from me and I haven't asked about scores since. He accused me of cheating and wanting to hurt others and was quite irrational in rmblings texts. Ever since then, only he can keep score and he only shares the scores when he wins. So much insecurity is is sad. I did everything I could to be his friend but that just seemed to enable his delusional projections of what he does. Excel and the Commodore don't see it his way, but we all just want to keep the peace so we let him go through his moods even though Excel feels hurt sometimes.

It's a sad sad situation and it is getting more and more absurd... and observed.

I asked Excel and the Commodore if they thought I should stop coming to play with them because it's been getting more and more tense and that's not much fun and they said I should not stop coming to play. We'll just have to be more aware of when Curly slips into his moods and figure out a way to help him realize how it is affecting him and everyone else.

I felt reassured and I'm all for that as I don't want him hurting Excel's feelings by laughing at her card play and he really needs to stop his emotional bullying. I don't want him to be so insecure and immature that he can't maintain a close relationship and is hurting over losing at cards. The biggest obstacle it he always has to be right. Hopefully they will find a way to point out his mood swings and irrational behavior as he definitely does not want to hear it from me.

As for me, I seem to be resigning as his punching bag and will keep trying to help him as his friend if he lets me. For a while now, he hasn't let me. Since September, I haven't heard from him outside of cards and he doesn't make eye contact or talk to me much during cards anymore. Except for some ranting irrational texts telling me I am cheating and hurting my friends (I asked them bluntly when he first texted that and they looked at me like I was crazy and assured me I am not hurting them. They said that they did wonder why I was more subdued when playing lately).

In other long texts, just as irrational, he claimed that I am also hurting him and his family by staying in this unfinished room. He's reneged on deals we made and gave me a landlord's ultimatum last month (his exact words were "there are no friends in business." I believe I might have vented about that as it really sting when he so suddenly turned from friend who offered me help into slumlord landlord. Since then I'm just a tenant he wants out and he acts like he wants me out of his life. Thing is, we play cards with my friends and he seems to resent that they are my friends too.

I'll see how it goes on Saturday as we are all supposed to barbeque and play cards at Violet's place and if he says anything about my playing at his house next Tuesday. Sadly, his ex-wife and two ex-girlfriends (all of whom were my friends as well and one of whom stayed close friends) have told me about his irrational mood swings, emotional bullying, desperate need to control others, and they all warned me that he will turn on me and I thought they were just bitter about their relationships ending poorly. What can I do for a friend with such serious emotional obstacles. Give him space, I guess.

Obla dee obla da que sera sera, or something like that.

So anyway, I am just getting home and here we are. All caught up and nowhere to go (hey, I'm sad about Curly, but I am still in a wonderful headspace inside so I can laugh at myself and enjoy my night). What? it's only 3am... do you know where your children are? This writing therapy resolves the savage beast once again. Music too. maybe some TV now. So much fun it is to write, cha cha cha.

Narf :)

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