Somebody Cares

Sometimes I feel like nobody cares
because nobody cares all the time
I have no partner in this life
my best friend is my rhyme

words have always been my secure place
where at least I know I still care
lately it seems to be getting harder




...
ok, so who cares if nobody cares about what I've got to say? I used to care enough to make up for all the non-caring in the world, but lately I am drained. Part of the drain is PTSD as I immersed myself in the shooting tragedy here and spent more than two full weeks organizing and comforting people while running around from funeral to viewing to vigil and more. Adding to that was the laptop and phone issues making communication difficult and threatening to cut me off from any connections. Not having TV for distraction made the possibility of losing both computer and phone and internet and all communications even more threatening to my sanity. It is just not the time to be wanting to disappear from society and ponder my navel.

The summer heat is not helping either as the only cool-down place I have is the car and the shower. I see why more elderly die in Florida during the summer than any other season.

The few close friends I have came through for me with a used iPhone 5 and a used Inspiron laptop, both of which are newer and more capable of communication and not breaking down than my older laptop and phone. The path has been challenging however as it took several meetings for Excel to remember the iPhone and it took several weeks for Jackson to get me the laptop (and another couple of days to get me the power cord. I bought a power cord for the iPhone and that is set up minimally now (so much to learn never having an iPhone or Apple product). I plugged in and turned on the laptop for the first time tonight and it'll take a bit of learning to get comfortable with Windows 10.

Meanwhile, the router went down tonight and it may have burned out so I am offline and can't do much set up or anything on the new laptop. Then the new laptop shows me a blue screen of death so my new found sense of stability is shaken as I am back on the old laptop typing these words.