Welcome to the Machine (Reduced)

Ok, here we go again. Welcome to the machine. At the moment this machine is not connected to the internet because the router is down. This is the first night I am exploring this laptop, a Dell Inspiron N5010 with an i5 CPU M480 @2.67 Ghz with 8Mb RAM, though the exploration is limited without internet access. This was Jackson's laptop and I am inheriting it now that she bought herself a Mac. In theory and based on logic, this machine should be faster and easier to use once I get used to Windows 10, the keyboard layout, and I set it up to my liking. I need to get a lap tray, mesh if possible, to be comfortable and to keep the laptop cool in this environment without air conditioning. It is a wonderful gift from my wonderful friend and I shall treasure it and do my best not to complain about it much. Laugh, please, I am trying to feel wonderful about accepting gifts, something I do not do well. It's a long story.

The iPhone 5 that Excel's son gave me is set up with my contacts and that will be another learning curve for the next few weeks. Curly says it took him several years to learn all the little tricks. By then I'll have another phone (I hope) lol and if an iPhone is that complicated I will not get another. Though I had the HTC Inspire for at least five years, so who knows. The tiny screen is the biggest negative for me so far and that may lead me to buy a bigger phone when I get back to working. I am very lucky to have a few very generous friends. Curly lefts me live here rent free. Excel's son gave me a working iPhone 5s. Jackson gave me a working relatively newish laptop. Yes, I am a lucky child of the universe.

I am tired at the moment though so I am not bouncing as I would in other moments. The heat in this place is draining me today/tonight. I am still not recharged emotionally from the last few weeks of funerals and giving support and I don't have any power sources I can tap into as everyone I know these days is low-energy or negative energy. Even Curly seems down, but he doesn't turn on the news and has no time or interest in the local tragedy, so i am not sure why. I hope it's not me). Physically, my only cool-down places are the car and the shower and I've showered three times in the past few hours. Just soaked my head in cold water fifteen minutes ago and I am overheating again. The laptop on the lap does not help. Hopefully it is not the BP meds messing with my kidneys. Kidneys regulate body temperature, ya know? It stormed early so the humidity is extremely high. I did a load of laundry, so that didn't help. Life goes on.

Letting weeks go by without writing for myself here did not help. My only writing was on Facebook in comments and posts and those were mostly very serious supportive emotional exchanges with people hurting or serious political conversations with people who's ignorance and self-destructive choices are frightening. I've had my fill of the serious stuff out there. Except for the fact that the support group I co-run is probably wondering where I am tonight, I am better off taking a break from the net. Hopefully the old laptop and phone will hold out until the internet returns and I can switch over all the stuff I need to start over with the new phone and laptop.

don't let it get you down
it's only castle burning
just find someone who's turning
and you will come around

Sure would like to find that someone who's turning. Maybe I can sleep now.