Monday, December 25, 2017

Lonely But Content

The tears are rolling out of my eyes as I watch an episode of Scorpion, go figure. The dream of being part of a family still brings tears to my eyes even when it's just fiction on TV. Another episode of the show affected me the same way. I relate so deeply to the characters. How isolated they are by their unique perspectives. How challenging it can be to relate to people. There was a time I related so much better than I do today, I know the secrets to human interaction and so much more I do not think words could explain adequately.

It is only truly understood through experience.

Meanwhile, I don't have a team or a family. I've got no one caring about me in everyday daily life. Nobody puts me first or even second. People care, I know that. Just from far away. No one is interested in the daily life in the moments like a team or family. sigh, alas, and all that reluctant acceptances breathing. This is what I think about while everybody else is celebrating today for whatever reason they are celebrating.

Food, that's all I have for physical satisfaction - because I do not exercise. So it is my own choice, fool. Unfortunately, there were a few obstacles to getting food. One ws Eb, who decided to make a roast of some sort and mashed potatoes. That left the kitchen a mess. Somewhere closing in on 4:00 PM, he seemed done, but as I passed to get clothes fro the dryer (I've been doing laundry all day, remember?), I see broken glass all over the inside of the oven and on the floor of the kitchen.

I decided to search online and found several restaurants listed as open on Google, so the next step was check menus and order. Unfortunately, none of the places listed as open by Google were actually open. Stupid Google. Eventually Eb cleaned up the glass so I decided to bake a pizza I had in the fridge. Ate the whole thing. Foolish move for the digestive system. So I've upped the prune juice and hope.

Meanwhile, the bleeding continues. I really need to find a doctor I can trust.

Meanwhile (that last meanwhile sucked rotten eggs and does not belong after a meanwhile, I apologize to all the meanwhiles out there for the abuse of the word. Oh, and to you too), this weekend was way too short. On the other hand, I am lonely so I will be happy to get back to work tomorrow. Lonely but content.

There are two more wash loads to be done. Eb had a load to do and he, as usual, didn't move his wash to the dryer and when he does, as usual, I'll move it out and on the the couch because in his mind, he lives alone. The good news is I have clean sheets. That is a treat living here. Tomorrow I will have clean clothes. The only thing not washed is a load of T-Shirts and a load f Towels, but I have more clean T-shirts and towels so life is good. I hope the shower is hot tonight. It is challenging to feel clean here (the bathroom is getting worse, believe it or not), but in this room, I feel clean tonight.

When I lay down I will squeal and squirm with glee as I fall asleep.

Yes, I am very content tonight.

How about you?

Narf :)

No comments: