So what, aye? Yeah, in case it matters, right. Sometimes I feel the frustration of caring in a world that doesn't care and I don't want to be here anymore, but I remain because somewhere deeper than the frustration (or hurt or loneliness or anything else) is this little voice reminding me that there's always hope and it's been that way since the earliest memories of creating me it was and is simple survival (don't forget, aye?) so yeah, whatever will be will be and I shall return. How about you?
There has been a detached reckonning around these parts I reckom and it really was no miracle, what happened was just a busy time aiding and abetting an episode of avoidance as a birthday came and went and though the universe forced me to come out of the shell I was carefully building, it was still a successful episode and now I shall recap the next four days tonight as I have been known to do when the relativity of time and time/date stamps help me confused thecrap out of anyone not interested enough to pay attention, keep up, and ask for directions (or at least conversation).
What day is this, anyway?
Well, it was a fine Sunday Softball day as the team surprised me by making just a few errors and I may have surprised me even more by holding it together after venting for a few moments and pitching the lights out of the two teams we played. Granted, they were hitters I could control well and not one of the top four teams that can sometimes hit my pitching, but still it was a good day. The first game was like pulling teeth as the team seemed the not want to wake up as it was 1-0 the other team through 4 and 2-0 the other team after 5. By the top of the seventh inning we were ahead 3-2 (they got 2 runs on errors) and we finally woke up. I batted second and went 3 for 3 with a clean double and we won 9-2. Next game we came out hitting and won 19-2. I went 4 for 5 and could have beat out the last ground ball I hit but I felt we had enough runs and I slowed down. Besides, batting .800 could get me booted up to C division and while I might like that on some levels, I returned to D division for good reasons and those reasons remain. Anyway, some days are like that. Did I mention it was a surprising day? Obviously dancing around something, in case you aren't noticing, in case it matters, in case the links above were not emphasized before. What?
After the games I went on ratings committee duty and watched four games and rated players. Hanging out with people is better than going home alone. I finally went home to shower and relax about 4:30pm and I may have crashed in bed or who knows, but the seeds of this four day dalliance into this episode of avoidance was beginning even if I was not intentionally doing it or even paying attention to it. I think I've been spending a lot of time on Facebook again.
I don't think I got much sleep, actually.
How are you really?
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