Went to bed hours after sunrise (have you checked the Random Pop News lately?... there is also some asides in Paragraphs which seems to be finding it's purpose as the blog for additional writings that are not actually daily brevity or babbles about daily life and such that the two-step daily blogs you are reading {this is step two, in case you didn't follow} are not meant to be for... or something like that, but let's get back to the summary of the life and all the dirt, drama, and details you come here for, m'ok?) and woke a couple of times, but finally stayed awake about 2ish. Could have slept until four as the dinner and cards scheduled for four was moved back to about five. The additional two hours would have been good, but I might be even more wired right now. Curly says the person who changed times around seems to do it a lot and he gets there at his usual time to keep from getting caught up in the changes. Learn from Curly, he knows the groups best. Personally, I prefer the Tuesday and Thursday night card groups (hope no feelings get hurt if this is ever read by my local friends, but this is where the dirt, drama, and details come out and there is more and less compatibility for everyone so I don't hide that fact, especially not here, because pretense is a foolish waste of time), but I will make it for their Saturday night games as much as my schedule and ever so busy social life allows (ah, the self-mockery laughs at me again). Just one can of Code Red and about five tacos and some cheese dips and chips. Cutting down, but still eating more than I should. And exercising less than I should. It's an old song, a broken record that also means I am not breaking records anymore. I used to keep track of my fasted times for miles, two miles, five miles, and other distances. Will I ever really wake up again?
How long have I been drifting on through the night.
How long have I been running for that morning flight
with the whispered promises and the changing light
of the bed where we both lie... late for the sky.
Ah, Jackson has words on this CD that have been a part of me before I ever heard them. Yes, you just had to be there, but you can still get close to the core if you want to. Meanwhile, in the daily life, the night was fun. Though I do wish for better influences for the body, the people are fun. I was getting horrible cards all night and I thought I would end up in last place but in the last couple of rounds I did much better and ended up in first place. Very surprising for me. Unfortunately, we did not use the scorepad we usually use so the scores were not added to the cummulative totals. See, that's why I need to get my own iPad or Android Pad, to keep scores (mockery, no doubt, as if there are not so many more important priorities in life right now, like finding income, but we won't go there any further just now cuz it's late and I've got to get some sleep tonight so I can dominate on the field in the morning... yes, the mockery wins again).
Dinner was tacos and jalepeno cheese salsa (only two other people ate it and one kept saying she shouldn't after a few bites but she kept returning to eat more because she has an eating disorder... as I said, I wish there was healthier influences among the card players, but complaining I am not) and buffalo chicken dip and a fresh papaya (Curly has trees and is trying to be a good influence, so that's great) and chocolates and I forget if there were other snacks. Probably. I am obviously processing my own emo-eating weakness which sometimes comes out as grumbling about the others who have even more unhealthy emo-eating weaknesses influencing mine because processing is the only way to maintain any control over those weaknesses, but that bit of underlying self-analyss can be quite boring for reading so I may or may not process it further in the written form here or elsewhere, even though it might help). Cummulatively among the five of us there tonight we could easily lose more than 300 pounds and not be thin. Probably close to 400 pounds would still be safe. I must refocus so as not to fall into their eating habits and Curly is with me on that. I love you people, but it's just so unhealthy I have to notice or I would not be caring.
Getting home, I started writing and interrupted myself with Words with Friends and Ruzzle (the brain has always been insatiable which is one of, if not the primary reason I am alone again, but that can be not just another long and rambling entry, but a series of books eqvivolent in volume to an encyclopedia... who remembers the encyclopedia? lol... oh it's time for Jane, stop this crazy thing again... references lam) for at least an hour and then returned here with little more to say than good night Yoda and you too.
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