Post-Midnight Concessions

Really? You expect any of this to make sense to you when you are not here living the madness that becomes the babble? Well, aren't you the hopefully puppy. Well, in case it matters, It was supposed to me my day, after all. Rarely ever gets that way, but that's a long old story and a bittersweet love song, or something like that. Curly just swooped right in and obsconded with it. I love him for it, mostly, but the four day dalliance into this episode of avoidance was only suppose to be a couple of days I think. I didn't resist too much, though I did pout and grump a bit as we worked on the stuff around this place that I wanted Curly to work on another day (washing machine is connected which really is a hooray and would have been more celebrated on another day but the limbo of not being able to continue unpacking and sorting and de-cluttering and so on is over so the de-cluttering can begin again just as soon as I move past the funk and wah wahs and deal with the reality of making the best lemonade I can make out of the lemons I've grown) before I told Curly why and then we went out to dinner at Sonny's barbecue and I had all you can eat ribs and spent stupidly by treating us both (and after he left I went back out to get three long johns (those vanilla creme filled chocolate icing covered pastries that have risen to the top three snacks I enjoy) and ate two and a half before passing out in a sugar coma. Not the wisest reaction to the rejuvenated stress over money that has been sort of mostly avoided during the past few days. This really is a ridiculous life I am creating day by day. 21915 days, to be precise. Oh, but that would be telling.

Never thought I'd live to be a hundred
Never wanted anyone to know
How much I have suffered as I wandered
Still don't think it's time for me to go

Always wanted to be someone happy
A positive influence with joy
Kept the traumas and pains all to myself
Did not mean to be aloof or coy

Just want to inspire a smile on your face
Even as the child inside might cry
Dreaming of the unconditional mother's love
He never had and always wondered why

The void inside destroyed relationships
The mask may have not fooled everyone
Still the clown had the best of intentions
To make life and sharing caring fun

Never thought I'd live to be a hundred
Thought by now this life would be long done
Sure will be amazed when I wake up tomorrow
Never thought I'd live to be... a hundred one
So I got home and sat down to write something profound and turned on the music that started it all (see the previous entry for more). Somehow the time just still was not right as the day was gone and the energy was gone and the focus was gone and the internet was there to turn distraction on so the dalliance into the episode of avoidance could continue on through another night so, wrong or right, the dalliance continued for another night.

So what'chu been up to? :)