This old computer with a Bios set back in 2008 and Windows Vista was right up there with the best of them when I bought it. Harmon Kardon mini-speakers mounted on either side of the keyboard and more, but the speakers no longer work and the sound card seems to have failed so I have no sound even through the headphone jack, alas, and that compounds the silences as I have no TV at the moment. The rest of the computer is just as old and slow as an old Windows Vista gets and worse, it overheats like crazy even with the portable fan I have constantly blowing from the side and under the laptop. The battery is gone and gives maybe five minutes if it is unplugged, so it is not portable at all (mostly my fault as I almost never unplug it and so I let the battery burn out a long time ago). At least it has not started crashing and thank goodness the keys have not started sticking yet (so I can give Toshiba credit for building a good machine, except for the speaker life), but the limits of what I can do with it are quite frustrating.
Add to the Facebook frustrations (blocking my account due to their new no psuedonym rule) so I use a different browser for Facebook straining the memory and CPU and heating it up all the more) and the ancient browsers (Vista does not allow any upgrades and recently all the other browsers stopped providing support or upgrades for Vista) so different web pages can only be seen in different browsers and some just will not work right at all. Planned obsolescense really sucks. American greed at work. Grumble.
So what else is new? Reading the old daily blog, two daily blogs back, circa 2005. It becomes addictive to read the comments as most of the entries back then received comments and sometimes more than two dozen for a single entry. So much love and praise, it is wonderful for the banged up ego (alas, Jackson was and is a constant ego-killer which is probably what I wanted on some level as she did not create our relationship by herself. She usually leaves me feeling like something is wrong with me because she disagrees and she argues about every little thing and she is anti-hugging, which is torture for a hugger like me... such a beautiful heart full of the best of intentions, she's just afraid to show it. I know it's not just me, but it still starves an ego if you know what I mean).
Wandering off on a lot of tangents lately. Alone time can do that. Beyond the blog reading, life continues. Softball tonight was a win thanks to my pitching and some key hitting early in the game. We did what we usually do, scored 12 runs in the first two innings and then everybody started swinging for the fences and hitting long outs. I went three for three, so I am happy my bat is coming back. Maybe they will start batting my somewhere other than the bottom of the line up so I can get up a bit more. They don't let me run on Monday nights. Even when I get to second on a double or a throw home, they send in a pinch runner. I believe that is to protect me as they don't want me coaching bases eithers. The coach always says a pitcher should not be out on the field except to hit and pitch because they can't afford me to get hurt. I like the concern, but I like playing too. :)
Before softball, as I mentioned, Curly stopped by and we did more yard work. He got up on his mom's roof and blew off the leaves and dirt and I cleaned the pool afterward. Then we headed over here and cleaned up the backyard. It was good of him to initiate that as I've been talking about doing it for a while. I know he is concerned about his mom hitting my car again and the neighbor has been having a boyfriend over pretty regularly taking my spot in front of the garage, so that probably motivated him. The backyard looks much better. The weeds are cut, the whole area is mostly cleared, and there is a back-up space to turn the car around. We put bricks and logs as borders along the fence and septic tank area. With a few hours more work, some serious bug spraying, and a couple of chairs and table and it will be a cool backyard space. For now, it's the parking space I will use when the front spaces are filled by the other neighbors guests. My space, nobody elses for now :)
Actually, we might have done the backyard yesterday. Catching up on a week sometimes mixes up the days, but then, what does it matter if no one is reading after all lol.
I got to see Jackson at the fields for a few minutes and it was good to talk to her, however briefly. I still feel sad that she has no time for me at all, but then, I know she still works the long days (14-16 hours) and barely gets to see Brandi so I understand. Just thought she might take me to dinner on her day off cuz I am not working or help me out in some other way like she said she would (she did hand me ten dollars last week, so I must remember that... I guess she stretched herself thin financially with the new car and a vacation to Chicago this month and living well, sigh) after I've given her so much over the years, but hey, this line of thought is not productive or positive or where I want to be (even though this is where I dumpy the dirt, drama, and details) so poof, where did that squirrel go? :)
Heading home, I stopped for Taco Bell (emotional indulgence, yes... unwise expenditure, yes... but also dinner and and satisfying a meat craving... cheap meat is better than no meat when the body and taste buds have a meat craving... the Vegan in me spits in my eye with disbelief and I just go on chewing cuz taste buds have no ethics). Rambling, aye?
Life is still much social, much busy, and much fun. So no worries, I shall survive sleeping alone and take care of myself all by myself as I have most of this life. Enough wah wah wah for one night, no doubt. Are we asleep yet? :)
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